9/25/02 I could have gone


I could have gone to bed long ago, perhaps at midnight, or even 11:30. I’ve had about twenty hours of sleep this week in total, and I’m starting to hallucinate during the day, seeing bears in the corners of rooms and talking to electrical appliances. But something compelled me to try and fix the Pink House music problem anyway, and here I sit at 3am, having laid down four more tracks to put in the movie. Certainly no evidence can be laid out that says that these little snippets of songs and aural ideas will lead the movie to victory, but tomorrow is our last day of editing, and being utterly irrational, I imagined that the inclusion of these pieces would make a difference to the movie’s future.

I mean, why not? All things have a tipping point, so why can’t the movie? Perhaps that tiny violin glissando I just barreled through will appeal, even subconsciously, to a festival judge, and it will marry him to the material enough to give us the go-ahead. He won’t know why he liked the movie, he just liked it. But you and I know, don’t we?

The hilarious thing is that none of what I do music-wise will ever end up in the final product; we have a whole budget for my mom’s orchestrations and the music supervisor’s bands. My little semi-quaver band-aids serve only to give the movie drive, and spackle over any strange spells that an orchestra will skim-coat later. But if you put yourself forth, and believe in the Buddha and yourself, your desire, self-kindness, and plain old tenacity pays off somewhere down the river. That’s my faith for this evening, and I’m sticking to it.

directing late at night during reshoots or at least LOOKING like I am

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