Day Two of the Super Slashin’ Extra Hot Chocolate Road Trip of Existential Slapdashery
Clearview, PA to Iowa City, IA
Our motel room last night blew. It was so forkin’ awful that I slept only three hours, mostly due to the heater vent, which blasted 16,000,000 BTUs of straight boiling air onto us all night, drying my sinuses out so bad that there was blood coming out of my nose by morning. We tried turning it off temporarily, but then the room went down to 14 degrees Fahrenheit within minutes. Oh, and the bed had a 16-inch dip in the middle. But who’s complaining? Yay for motels!
This was a very long drive, mostly spent yammering at each other and playing “20 Questions” (my favorite: my own lap) and then staring vast stretches into the void of the 4pm sunset of a sickeningly cold winter day across the forlorn Ohio and Indiana savannah. Honestly, I don’t understand how America gets a reputation for being so beautiful; if there aren’t beaches or mountains, this whole country looks like the parking lot to the KwiQ-C-Mart (actual gas station in Illinois).
Today’s Graffiti Korner:
at a truck stop near Youngstown, OH
it reads “Ryan Perry sucked my dick in here!!”
with the response “is that good or bad?”
Now, I’m sure Ryan Perry would have a witty retort to this sordid tale, but my favorite part is a bit of sad scribbling off to the side that says
“I miss my dog”