4/23/03 Brooklyn, NY So I’ve

4/23/03 Brooklyn, NY

So I’ve written in here for over a year now, and since I don’t have a “comment” button, I’ve done it largely anaerobicically, without much contact from the fine folks currently reading this, like, say, you. But now I have to ask a few questions, and I hope none of you mind. Each of the questions has a different way to reply, rendered in an image because so many web bots have my email address now that I sift through 50 emails a day about my penis even with a spam filter. So here goes!

1. What the hell are the PCI slots for in my computer? I know what it used to be on the older Macs, but now we have the new dual 1.42 GHz Power Mac, and inside, it has four slots for PCI cards and one slot for an AGP 4X (check it out here). What goes into these things? More little pieces of brain? Will it help us render our digital video faster? I’ve been using Macs for 16 years, and somehow I didn’t do the summer reading on this stuff. If you have a clever explanation, email me here:

[ed. note: okay, I found out]

2. Are you a college senior about to graduate? Does the world look pretty miserable and daunting right now? I’m writing an article about YOU and I’m going to make you famous. At least semi-famous for a short time. Those who want to vent their spleens can really help me this week. Please email me here as soon as you can:

[ed. note: okay, I got enough! no mas!]

3. Okay, so we’re planning the re-shoots for the Pink House movie. We need some young folks interested in the movie industry to help us out. We will feed you, give you a valuable glimpse into the indie film world, and give you something cool to put on your resum for other film gigs. It’s a one or two-day shoot, so it won’t be a “Titanic”-like commitment. We’re looking for:

a) Assistant Camera. You’d help our Director of Photography. Previous experience with video/film is preferred, but if you’re smart, you’ll pick it up.

b) Gaffer. You’d help with the lights and scene set-up. Previous experience preferred, yes, but we need you more for your brawn and occasional creative ideas.

c) Talent Coordinator. You’d help with the actors. Help them get to the production with everything they need, and assuage their fragile egos. Being a “people person,” whatever the hell that means, is a plus.

d) Post-Production Office Coordinator. You’d man (or woman) the office during the shoot, helping with costumes, food and answering the phone when something insane happens. “Havin’ your act together” is a definite plus.

Sound cool? Email us here:

[ed. note: no more emails, we got staffed – jesus, there’s a lot of you out there]

4. Readers have told me I come off as rather blustery and pissed-off, and they waited weeks to ask me something that turned out to be fascinating. Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to ask? I’m only partially blustery, and the antidepressants have novocained the pissed-off parts, I promise.

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