5/29/03 Brooklyn, NY On my

5/29/03 Brooklyn, NY

On my nephew Sean’s graduation

(rapped to the beat of “Finger Lickin’ Good” by the Beastie Boys)

Old Skool Seano was dopin’ like Fagin

Born in the reign of Easy Ron Reagan

Forged in the depths of my parents’ divorce

Little Sean screamin’ till his mama was hoarse

Antiques flyin’, turkey’s rottin’

Christmas bells shakin’ and my family’s besotten

‘Stead of being angry and a little shit ranklin’, he was

Growin’ equinanimous like Benjamin Franklin

By the time he was fiddlin’ and groovin’ elementary

Sucka MC’s were try and shakin’ his belfry

But he be deflectin’ with a deft bon mot

Even fifth grader lakers couldn’t challenge his flow

Sean is his moniker, don’t be wearing it out

Named after uncle, the one without gout

Has a sweet hook shot, playa fast playa loose

Comin’ down the lane like a unhook’d caboose

Keep him on the baseline, know your own train line

His long-distance jumpers stroke trifectas so fine

Don’t be dissin’ on my nephew, ya jealous playa hata!

Just ‘cuz you can’t be the master debater!

Give him a country, playin’ Model U.N.

Shit, he’s got Uganda written all over ‘im

Give him a topic – debate all the day

By the time that he be done with you, you think you be gay

Graduating now to the halls of higher rhymers

He be havin’ him the smarts of fifty Robert Oppenheimers

And even though our Hawkeye family legacy’s rough

I’m going back to Iowa City, I do believe I’ve had enough.

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