6/22/03 Columbia County, NY I’ve

6/22/03 Columbia County, NY

I’ve been fascinated to learn that there is a large cloud of unknown data currently clogging up the internet, leading system administrators and general dorks around the globe trying to find the source of it all. A good guess is some sort of “replicating worm” virus that takes up a lot of the world’s processing power and just makes it do a bunch of random shit. The difference with this particular cloud is that it is truly mammoth in scale.

The human equivalent to such an event is rampant obsessive-compulsive disorder, an affliction where patients fill their brains with useless minutiae and basically “think” themselves into a pathology. I know such disorders well, as my own youth was plagued by OCD to the point of semi-paralysis. I won’t go into the details here (putting them into text always make them look even worse) but suffice to say that things like walking to school take three times as long when you’ve got so many leaves, cracks, cars, squirrels, number of steps, swallows and making clicking noises with the back of your throat to worry about.

I definitely could have used what my nephew Lucas is taking, but they just didn’t have those options back in 1976. The way people take care of kids has got to be one of the most unheralded revolutions of modern society – everything is different now, even 20 years later. This was hammered home in Spellbound, a wonderful documentary about kids in the national Spelling Bee we saw today – these geeked-out students are surprisingly well-adjusted, and even the pushy parents know when enough’s enough.

Ah, but the fuzzy clouds of data wafting through the internet. It probably delayed you getting here by a half-second or so. It brings up another specter: the black, unknown cloud masses that lurk in the nether regions of the universe. One wonders how many more galaxies we’d see if it weren’t for these massive blockages, making me think that if there is a Creator, then It, too, occasionally thinks too much to finish the job.

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