My Trip to Hinckley, New York
by Ian Williams
My friend Laurie is from a small town in upstate New York. She doesn’t like it very much. Bad things happened up there when she was young. When we got into the car, a storm appeared on the horizon in the direction we were going.
We got there pretty quick. We were supposed to plant bulbs in the ground for her mother. On the way to her house, we passed what she called the After School Rape Hut. It was scary.
Her parents turned out to be very nice, but the dog wasn’t. I learned something new! If you put baby powder all over your flower bulbs, the squirrels wont dig them up. Tessa and Laurie planted 100 bulbs all over the yard. I think they were going faster than usual.
Then we had chocolate pie and went to Remsen. This is the town right next to Hinckley. They had a parade! Actually it was called the Barn Festival of the Arts. They had candied almonds, soy candles and macram trivets. Tessa said a lot of the stuff was “crap.” But there sure were a lot of people there!
I got a brick of horseradish cheddar cheese. I have to take pills with cheese because I’m “lactose intolerant.” My tummy makes weird noises if I don’t take the pill. And then it gets very unpleasant in the room. I don’t want to talk about being lactose intolerant. It’s not funny!
It turns out that Remsen is a town built by Welsh people. Everyone there is from Wales. I am too. So is Laurie. We are both called Williams. So we took a picture of Laurie and me in front of the Welsh Dragon and the “Williams Oil Company” sign. Tessa said “this is not a very flattering picture of you.” Meaning me.
It was getting late so we said goodbye to Laurie’s parents and “hit the road.” On the way home we got really hungry. We remembered seeing a Cracker Barrel somewhere. Then we found it. George said “Cracker Barrel is where all the crackers eat.” I got the chicken-fried chicken and a pancake. It was good! Then we went home.
I liked Hinckley, New York. Perhaps we will go back sometime. At least I know where the flowers are.