ding dong th’ bells


The only thing more predictable than my political leanings are the succession of terrible decisions made by the Bush Administration and the 108th Congress, so it should bore everyone to tears that I find this new Federal Marriage Amendment to the U.S. Constitution one of the worst ideas since the Founding Fathers decided to make Negroes into 2/5ths a person.

I swear to god, accepting homosexuals is going to be the last frontier in this country. It took conservatives centuries to begrudgingly give women and blacks the time of day, but their bizarre fear and knee-jerk loathing of homosexuals seems like it will never fade. My extended Mormon family hates gays more than they hate Al Qaeda.

Well, I got news for you: the Federal Marriage Amendment will fail eventually, terrible ideas like that always do. And now that Massachusetts has set the precedent for states to ratify same-sex unions, pretty soon New York will too, then Hawaii, then Oregon, and then YOUR state will be next. You can either choose to accept this now, or go down in history like the raving pontificators of the Confederate Congress.

Massachusetts is only a couple of miles away from our house; from the top of our hill, you can see their trees, and the faint outline of churches where ceremonies can be held. We plan on getting as many gay couples married there as we can, then bringing them over the border to our barn for a party as swingin’ as the one we had for our own wedding. We’re going to be your One-Stop Queer Marriage Hut