next services 56 miles

2/6/04

Chapel Hill, NC to Jasper, GA

FlyingJ.jpg

When you enter Georgia from South Carolina, you are presented with a Gomorrah-like display of “gentlemen’s clubs,” porno warehouses, peep show barracks and adult establishments promising every sort of toy you could possible shove up your duodenum. One such place called “Bedroom Eyes” (I think) had a plume of steam rising from its chimney thousands of feet into the air, as if the furious masturbating of three hundred truckers was creating enough kinetic energy to convert friction to hydro-electric power.

My tastes run a little more pedestrian. I have always loved the gigantic chain-owned Truck Stops, and no, not because of the ironic hipster value. I actually like them intrinsically. The “Flying J” or the “TA Truck Authority” establishments are a frequent haunt for my road trip dollar, much to the horror and disdain of my darling Tessa. She just doesn’t get how cool it is; the miles of polyester track suits, the wall full of rear view mirrors, the constantly-revolving cylinders of 4-day-old beef wieners stacked up like they were timber logs in an Oregon river.

People don’t realize the crazy deals you can get at a these places; cell phone accessories that usually cost $49.99 at a Radio Shack will cost $4.25 at a Flying J. At several of them you can check your email at a sit-down kiosk within smellshot of the men’s room

One thought on “next services 56 miles

  1. CL

    >>the constantly-revolving cylinders of 4-day-old beef wieners stacked up like they were timber logs in an Oregon river.
    I love that.

    Reply
  2. Tamara

    Ah, finally someone who understands the beauty of the truck stop. My friends just don’t get it. For me it’s the nostalgia of the endless roadtrips from AZ to MN, broken up only by historic landmarks and truck stops. Now as I go between AZ and CA, I marvel at the convenient placement of ‘my’ Flying J in Ehrenberg, AZ. Just perfect for my tiny car’s tank of gas.

    Reply
  3. Sean Patrick

    Flying Js all have wireless internet now, too. The one I was at in Pennslyvania tried to sell special flying J wireless cards that supposedly allow you to use the wireless web at any flying J location, but me and my dad were able to jump on without them.

    Reply
  4. LDV

    If you don’t want kids yet, have Tessa freeze her eggs. It’s a woman’s eggs that go bad not her uterus. It’s totally creepy but it’ll work. But, sperm goes bad, too, btw. Usually when women conceive later in life and the kid has defects it’s b/c the sperm has gone funky – seriously. Search the web, there are new studies on it. So you should freeze your stuff too. Then you guys can have kids when you’re 50. You seemed stumped about what to do so just wanted to let you know what I’ve read recently.

    Reply

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