good long-term holdings

2/12/04

One thing that really pisses me off about the Movie Industry is the ADVICE usually doled out by wizened veterans to neophytes hoping to make their way through the labyrinthine mess en route to a career. Right off the bat, I’m going to tell you something that will save you the trouble of $24.95 for That How-To Book You Were Going To Buy at the Entertainment Section of Barnes & Noble. Ready?

Everyone finds success in the entertainment industry through a completely random, bizarre and unexpected way.

I mean, that should make you feel better, right? Not only does it relieve you of everything except working really hard, but it does put you on an even playing field. Just find that bizarre back door. Yes, that pursuit can be frustrating in itself, but not half as frustrating as believing that your talent is going to waste because the people in the Industry are idiots. They want to find you as much as you want to find them, but the door that separates you is unlocked with an exquisitely odd key.

The second thing you always hear from entertainment-pundits-in-the-know is “always have your second project started before the first one is finished.” This is advice that is given especially to women directors, who historically have a terrible time getting their second movie made (even if the first was hit). When you get into Sundance with a film, you’re always advised to hype up your next project, which must already be well on its way.

This shit makes me furious. Telling someone to have their next movie started before their first is finished is like having sex with your wife the day after she delivers the baby. The mere supposition that you would be able to even THINK about a second movie while still raising money for your first is LUDICROUS to the point of being CRIMINAL.

Independent filmmakers sell their souls, their cars, their future credit rating and every favor they’ve earned since grade school to get to post-production on their film, and even then, 97% of them still run out of money. How are you supposed to pay your casting director for your second film when you can’t get your first film out of the developing lab? Furthermore, what stars are going to be in your second film, when nobody has even seen your first yet?

That isn’t advice, that’s rubbing your face in how famous you aren’t. Yet.

Now, I bring this up because I think I have a better piece of advice that will bring you more luck and more opportunity. Forget about your second film; it will come. What you need to do now is DIVERSIFY. This is something Tessa’s dad did exceptionally well in the 1980s, and something Jamie Block does well now: shield yourself from failure by having several different kinds of balls in the air.

I rarely mention career things here in the blog, but suffice to say that every day you read this, my darling wife and I have at least 10 different writing/producing projects bubbling on the burner. I never say anything about them before they come to fruition, because they are like crushes, ruined once divulged. But one of our balls (if you pardon the expression) landed very well this week.

On a last-minute push, we decided to enter some of our writing into an event being spearheaded by a major entertainment network. Out of almost a hundred plays, ten were chosen