Let me take time out from my vacation to tell Fedex that they SUCK. Unable to fit everything into the car, we shipped some stuff from Brooklyn to Los Angeles, and one such box had our souped-up TiVo (that I spent a week upgrading), a $300 microphone, an expensive USB audio input, and two pillows. But it doesn’t stop there: wrapped around the whole thing was THE ONLY GOOD SUIT I’VE EVER OWNED, an Armani that we put on our credit card in the immediate aftermath of Tessa’s dad’s death, so that I’d have something to wear to the funeral.
Most importantly – to me, anyway – was that I accidentally left a mix tape of all the songs I’d written since 1986 inside a Walkman that was also in the box. Unless my family can come up with a copy, it’s the only one in existence. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my throat.
This package was tracked to Pomona, California, where it was STOLEN by Fedex employees, or by someone else due to their unbelievably lax security. I’m so beside myself with rage I can hardly see straight.
Yes, I screwed up. I under-insured it so that we’re out thousands of dollars. The box was also the original TiVo box, making it look enticing for whatever motherfuckers were unloading the truck. But Fedex doesn’t care. That is the last time I entrust anything valuable to them, and I encourage all of you to do the same.