PIPA longstocking


Perhaps all of you viciously-well-read leftist mavens out there have already read the PIPA report, but if you haven’t, take a quick horrifying look at how skull-crushingly misinformed Republicans are, versus their Democrat counterparts. A very quick glance:

– 72% of Bush supporters continue to believe Iraq had WMD and/or a program to make them, even after the Duelfer Report (commissioned by Bush himself) has said the opposite.

– 60% of Bush supporters believe that MOST EXPERTS AGREE that Iraq was directly supporting Al Qaeda.

– 51% believe Bush supports the Kyoto Treaty.

– 58% of Bush supporters say that the U.S. should not have gone to war if Iraq didn’t have WMD, and 61% of them assume, in this case, that Bush wouldn’t have.

Now, if you’re like me, you might be thinking, “how on earth do these knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers summon the mental energy to remember which end of the phone is for speaking?” but here at xtcian, we’d like to probe a little farther. Obviously, many Republicans come by their opinions honestly, using actual facts – I may disagree, but I appreciate their convictions. But for the rest of them… how can these Republicans be, as the pollsters kindly suggest, so “resistant to information”?

1. They’re fucking morons. Could it be true that they are so swooningly chuckleheaded that no amount of data can leak through? The old saw says you never want to see how sausages and laws are made, but should we be just as afraid of the dinner conversation at a Republican home in Wichita, Kansas? The answers to the PIPA report are so disturbing that mere stupidity can’t be the answer; the responses are too uniformally misinformed.

Even the stupidest people get 300 points just for putting their name on the SAT test, but people who call themselves Republicans all seem to have decided to fuck that up too. While certainly a lot of Republicans have to be Idiots (not to mention their cousins Racist, Homophobic and Misogynist), I don’t think we’re dealing with outright dumbness.

2. Ye Olde Cognitive Dissonance. This theory has been trotted out a lot lately, and it seems to make a sick sort of sense. Basically, Republicans trusted George W. Bush so much that they won’t allow themselves to feel like he has utterly failed them. While this makes GOP-followers seem frail and somewhat pathetic, it’s actually rooted in narcissism; they CANNOT show any weakness, and to keep their hard-won exterior from crumbling, they choose to live in Bizarro-world.

Problem is, they’re making us live there too. And the way they cling to their paper moons hanging over a cardboard sky makes me believe something much darker:

3. Republicans are the Equivalent of Battered Wives. They are the ailing wives living in the time before they are saved; they are still putting gobs of makeup over their latest shiner, they are wearing long sleeves to mask vicious bruises. They haven’t got to the point where they will wake up to their own nightmare – they are still living in a dreamscape, inventing a world for themselves where their sadistic husband has every right to behave like a violent, rage-fueled sociopath.

Right now, Bush is that husband, and the majority of the Republican Party is the wife. They don’t even know he has broken their arm; they actually believe that they slipped down the stairs. Oh sure, the neighbors whisper, their pew at church is sparsely-populated… but they don’t understand, they don’t fully understand the kind of relationship they have with their husband. He would never do anything to hurt me. He loves me. HE LOVES ME.


I can’t raise a family around people like that. Here’s to filling out your absentee ballots and getting these battered Republicans to a shelter where they belong.

0 thoughts on “PIPA longstocking

  1. Mom

    Scotty, I can’t speak for Ian, but I’m doing absentee ballot because 1) that way I know there is an actual paper record and 2) election day will find me in Ohio working with the Election Protection people. It ain’t much, but like many others who fear what will happen if Bush is reelected, I have to do SOMETHING. In fact, I fear what will happen even if he ISN’T reelected. Bush et al. may have done enough damage already to bring us to the edge of the apocalypse.
    But it’s a start.

  2. kent

    See also http://chaircrusher.livejournal.com/ which I wrote before seeing Ian’s blog entry, commenting on the same report.
    I don’t call anyone a moron. People who can think and choose not to are way worse than people with limited intellects. Calling Republicans morons is an insult to morons everywhere.

  3. Lyle

    I know Fedex apparently screwed Ian and Tessa royally during a recent Cali sojourn, but here’s one cool thing the company is doing here in Bangkok: Fedex is shipping absentee ballots for free back to the States. I couldn’t believe it until successfully taking them up on the offer today. The friendly Thai clerk who handled my order said that so far only about 35 people have used the free shipping for their ballots. Ah, well.


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