navel, meet my gaze


Hey kids, it’s time for Webstats Fun with the blog! Here is a list of this month’s Most Popular Search Terms. Obviously, Misty May’s ass is the gift that keeps on giving!


I’m sorry, would you like that in Pie Graph form?


How about site traffic usage by hour? These are done in Pacific Time, so add three hours for the East Coast. Looks like some of you sure like your whiny commentary first thing in the morning!


and a little bit at teatime too

How about my favorite comment from the last month? This was left on an ancient entry from Halloween 2002:


And now that I have your attention, I’d like to make a request: those of you who have never posted a comment, those just lurking, can you tell me who you are, and where you’re from, and your favorite breakfast cereal and why?

I get all these hits from strange and wonderful places, but you don’t say hello. It’s making me sad.

Or are they all just robots selling penis pills?


0 thoughts on “navel, meet my gaze

  1. chip

    Long time reader first time poster.
    yeah it’s good to be here. I be chip from iowa city, and I’m not sure how i got here in the first place.
    But allow me to vote for Life, no wait, special k with berries… crispix. Well that’s what’s in the cupboard.
    Today feels like a Special K with berries.

  2. Johnny Rukavina

    Hi Ian I’m Peter’s brother and we’ve met a few times. I am not currently a robot selling penis pills, but I’m considering it as a lifestyle change. I think it would make me fun at parties.

  3. Larry Weaver

    He’s been a faithful lurker since the beginning of…
    He enjoys Rice Crispies, rap music, and booking bluegrass bands…
    He’s currently reading “The Coward’s Guide to Conflict” by Tim Ursiny and “To Be the Man” by Ric Flair…
    He appeared as the scrawny, tobacco-chewing buggy driver in “The Pink House”…
    All the way from Durham, NC – internet audience, please give a big NC welcome to Larry Weaver!

  4. Horvus Callithumper

    location: Chapel Hill
    cereal: Lucky Charms – cuz crunchy marshmallows fucking rock
    comment: I know you’re out of your mind worrying about the crazy motherfuckers in DC, but would it kill you to write some more movie reviews?

  5. Caroline

    Ian, don’t be sad! My lurking habit began a while back after doing a Google search for “Tina Fey’s scar”…et voila! At that time I was a long-time Tarheel stranded in the Lone Star state while darling hubby was doing his residency. This blog became my daily comfort food, a connection to sanity and reason (well, most of the time…I do tend to skip over the odes to Tarheel basketball), and a reminder that my politics weren’t nearly as renegade as my Texan neighbors seemed to think. As to why I’ve never posted, though been moved to do so many times, just know that I have two little boys under 5. ‘Nuff said.
    We recently moved back and have made Asheville our home–Chapel Hill lost out to these amazing mountains. As I sit here amidst all these gorgeous falling leaves, I’ll have to place my vote for oatmeal as the current favorite cereal. It’s a seasonal thing. Oh alright, since I’m in such a revelatory mood, I’ll admit that if I didn’t have to set such a good parental example, I could easily scarf up a box of Cap’n Crunch. Hold the milk.

  6. Bozoette Mary

    Hey Ian…I’m from Burtonsville, MD — the DC ‘burbs — and I work in DC. I’ve commented occasionally, but I read always! I can’t remember how I found your blog; some link or other, no doubt!

  7. Bozoette Mary

    Oops… favorite breakfast cereal… hmm.
    Gotta be the Cap’n Crunch, with Crunchberries. Because of the sweet crunchy goodness, even when soaked in milk.
    Except now that I’m trying to get rid of 20 pounds, it’s plain old Shredded Mini-Wheats.

  8. Heather

    I’ve been reading/lurking since the “Zap your PRAM Conference”. Not much for posting – but make a daily visit to your site and often refer friends to it as well.
    I really hate cereal and watching people eat it… I worked at a youth camp for years, and cleaned out too many bowls of soggy Shreddies & Cheerios.

  9. Tim

    Stumbled on it when googling to buy the DVD Ivan’s XTC. We’re requesting more tales involving Matt G from Archers of Loaf.

  10. PAC guy

    I’m an ’88 UNC grad, came across your site a few months ago when googling for a Surowiecki article.
    Recognized your writing style from the DTH. Enjoy your humor, not always your politics.
    Hope you’ll keep sharing.

  11. LosAngelestype

    I read your article in Salon about the Mormon girl who was kipnapped, and thought “Could that be the same Ian that I knew briefly in LA?”. And it was! I am fairly indifferent to college basketball, but it’s fun to check in on someone who notes the large and the small with such precision.
    And my cereal is black tea, drunk while hectoring my small daughter to eat her oatmeal, so that we can get going.

  12. Antonella

    Hi Ian. This is Antonella No. 2, your au pair from way back in the London and Cedar Rapids days…..
    I happened upon your blog through a google search a few months ago, as I wondered what had happened to the various members of my first American family. I was pleasantly surprised to find such a wealth of information (and well organized, too.) I’ve enjoyed reading your entries and wholeheartedly share your political views. I also get a big kick out of the photos you occasionally post from your grade school days (not a very happy period of your life as I well recall), which date back to the time we firt met.
    Keep up the good work, and thanks for sharing!

  13. Sarah

    location: Canada’s capital, Ottawa (and no, it’s not Toronto)
    how I got here: link to your states maps entry
    cereal: Cheerios – apple cinnamon flavour
    why i’m still reading your blog: B-list celebrities, hehehe…kidding

  14. Steve

    Hi Ian. I’ve admired your writing since you first blessed my 10th grade yearbook with your wickedly funny musings. Thanks for the daily entries. They give a big boost to my mornings.
    I gave up cereal a while ago. I always did like really soggy raisin bran.

  15. Tim

    Hi Ian,
    This may sound weird, but I first stumbled upon your blog when I was doing a search for “Nike Shox VC” basketball shoes. I think you had a post about them a while back. I noticed that you are a great writer and decided to check out your other posts. I soon realized that we have very similar viewpoints on many things. Also, take heart that not everyone in the Deep South is Republican. I live in Birmingham, Alabama and there are quite a few of us Kerry supporters around.

  16. Ian

    Wow, I’m flattered and psyched. So many great people.
    First off, Antonella! Ladies and gents, I owe much of my puberty years to this incredible lady – she was truly one of the few people that actually talked to me in those dark days.
    Steve Sacks’ bizarre humor was a HUGE influence. And Larry Weaver needs no introduction.
    The rest of you, I’m flattered you’re here. Writing is so much easier with you around.
    Calliethumper – I pulled my Movie Review Writing Muscle back in ’97 and it still aches.
    Tim – Archers of Loaf stories tended to be surreal affairs that don’t translate well to the blog. But Matt G is a genius.
    Losangelestype – who are you, pray tell?
    I’d love to hear from anyone else, as well.
    rhyming Alexandrine couplet,

  17. Wayne

    Even though I don’t post comments or say hello very often, I read your blog almost daily. I have enjoyed your writing since Chapel Hill and find that your site makes me feel more in touch with the east coast and UNC. Entries about California make me nostalgic for the time that I lived in Santa Barbara back around 5 years ago. And, I appreciate your politics. You will see my hits from the flats of North Texas (Dallas) or from one of the many trips I make overseas for work. Maybe you are seeing those hits from me while I’m in foreign lands. In the last two months, I have read your blog while I was in:
    Hong Kong
    Mainland China
    I didn’t mean to make you sad! Now it’s time for my Rice Krispies. —Wayne

  18. Kelly

    PEI via Zap your PRAM conference — Cereal is Special K — I think you have quite a few Island connections lurking. Look forward to seeing you & Tessa back on our red Canadian soil one of these days soon.

  19. Charlie

    Hey Ian,
    I’m a displaced PEIslander living in Halifax, Nova Scotia who found you through the silverorange/Rukavina junction. First linked to your adventure at the Canada/US border and I’m patiently waiting for the sequel when you attempt to take the Prius loaded with unmarked pill bottles into Tijuana.
    Frosted Flakes for breakfast please.

  20. anonymous

    I found you through a google search for “small penis blog”. Your site is exactly what I was looking for. It’s comforting to see that folks with our condition can not only lead productive lives, but can even occasionally be witty. Keep it up!

  21. Los Angeles

    vaniga pills, i am a robot who sell vagina pills. you should try one sometime.
    banana nut crunch: 3 bowls per day, morning, noon, evening, with vanilla almond milk

  22. portland

    portland, in maine, granola with some yogurt which is totally out of character. i’d really like to just have a flat coke and a candy bar every morning but……

  23. antonella

    Ian – Thanks for your sweet acknowledgement. I do have lots of fond memories of you and your family. Do get in touch sometimes (I live in the DC area), I’d love to see you.

  24. jeanmarie

    I came upon your blog while randomly googling old friends….
    No not you…I worked with, and was friends with your sister Michelle, at Leonas in Chicago…
    Thought I would see what she was up to, and got hooked on the family blogs…
    Cereal? None, but in college I loved Cookie Crisp…

  25. Bill

    I’m a former DTHer now residing in the San Francisco area. I was directed to your blog by a Chi Psi brother of yours, Eric Gribbin, who I bumped into on the street one day. I have fond recollections of the DTH column and how often the term “Zagnut bar” found its way into print.
    Cereal now: Golden Grahams
    Cereal then: dry Cheerios, straight from the box, while watching Saturday morning cartoons (Captain Caveman etc.)
    Bill Taggart

  26. KRMcNamee

    As per your request:
    My name is Kevin, I am from Philadelphia and her beautiful surrounding suburbs, and my favorite breakfast cereal is multigrain cheerios. I like to keep it healthy.


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