lugging, schlepping, toting



our old apartment before the move


our old apartment tonight

I know that every single one of you reading this has been through a move, perhaps some of you have done it ten times in the last decade. You’ll know this, then: there is no marrow-dragging bone tiredness that can possibly compare. The little tiny things you leave behind that you only notice when the initial husk of crap is stripped away, that’s what kills ya.

It’s the broom behind the door, the endless extension cords, the tiny stuffed animal that this girl gave you in college, the book that was holding up the television. Oh, and does anyone need any phone cord? We have 17.3 miles of it, all in eight-foot strips.

I’ve had it with my body. It’s had it with me. I have one thing to say, however: our new place has really cool peepholes in the old mahogany doors.


0 thoughts on “lugging, schlepping, toting

  1. Andy

    Ian, I am feeling your pain. I recently moved twice in 3 months.
    We put our names on a contract to build a new house and put our old house on the market. Of course, the old house closed very quickly so we had to move into a rental house while waiting for the new one to be finished. 3 months later we finally moved again. It’s been a month and half since the last move and I still have boxes of crap everywhere. Oh, and throw in trying to keep up with 2 kids in there somewhere.
    Moving sucks. Enjoy the new place!

  2. Piglet

    Oh, crap.
    All the chalenges of homeownership and you STILL have to move periodically? Man, you got shafted.
    I’m thankful I only live in one place.

  3. Ian

    Yeah, we would love to own something in Brooklyn, but I’ll need to sell a book idea, write a hit show (or perhaps plant pumpkins and hit oil). And then the market will have to come down like crazy. And then we’ll have to single-handedly gentrify the neighborhood.

  4. salem

    So, did you find any Bear Suber hairs? Every time I move I open a box with a little treat from Bear. I found his rock yesterday. Some dogs have bones, Bear had a 4 lb river rock.

  5. Kenny

    I see your 17.3 Miles of phone cord and raise you 317 sets of RCA connectors. You know, the red-and-white cords that connect components? Anyone in the Oak Park, Illinois area? We’ve got RCA cables for ‘ya, no charge.


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