Working up a good political rant has been hard for me since the election; the American Coastopia brouheehee sated my desire for immediate discourse, and of course, I’ve been on a self-imposed media blackout so as not to hear Bush’s voice even for a nanosecond. But America’s reaction to the tsunamis has, in my humble opinion, been utterly shameful.
The second those waves hit Southeast Asia, we should have had a disaster-relief program ready to go, funded by at least 500 million dollars, on the level of a sped-up Manhattan Project. If we can put people on the moon (35 years ago), we could have some massive humanitarian project that kicks into gear in the case of mass casualties, like the hundreds of thousands of souls lost two Sundays ago. I don’t care whether they are Sumatran, Norwegian or American, that shit should be ready to rock.
Why us, you ask? Because we’re the richest motherfucking country in the world, gobbling up 26% of the world’s resources with only 4% of the world’s population, that’s why. We fuck the world every day, so when Nature fucks back, we should call for the ball. Any other response is abject racism, tribalism and greed of the most repugnant variety.
But what did we do? Barely anything, initially, and when we were criticized, we dished out a comparatively paltry $350 million. Australia on the other hand, whose Gross National Product IS A THIRD LESS THAN OURS per capita, is already pledging $810 million. Yeah, sure, Australia was nearer to the tsunami than we were, but we’re all human fucking beings, aren’t we?
More sickening was Colin Powell, who thought the U.S. response would give us an image boost in predominantly Muslim countries. Only the United States could stage a P.R. move on the drowned backs of 170,000 floating Asians. It’s enough to make you want to gargle Listerine for three hours just to get the taste out of your mouth.
Bush, for his measure, has donated $10,000 – which seems gracious only because we can’t contemplate his personal wealth: $26 million, and an eventual inheritance ten times that. Bush could find $10K between the naugahyde cushions of his La-Z-Boy if he had the maid look for it. If that’s his definition of personal sacrifice for the global good, then by all means, I encourage all of you to send .0004 of your income to tsunami relief as well. For most of you, that’s about nine bucks. Get cracking!