SPF negative-25


A few weeks ago, I looked at a calendar of our impending late winter and spring and realized that we had ONLY THREE DAYS FREE between then and the 18th birthday of our future child. Now, Tessa and I have never taken a real vacation. We did have a little honeymoon jaunt in 2003 up to Prince Edward Island, but our time was compressed as we had to get back to another wedding just a few days later.

I have oft heard of this place called “The Caribbean” and the islands known as “The Bahamas” therein. I never thought I’d actually go, because people with my lack of melanin don’t enjoy macadamia-flavored full-body oil. But those three days on the calendar opened up its maw, three boxes all screaming “save yourself, you bastard!”

So I found an excessively cheap fare from Newark, and surprised Tessa with our First True Cheesy American Vacation to the Islands. New Yorkers and Bostonians: I can’t recommend this jaunt more. It’s 2 1/2 hours by plane non-stop, and in mid-February, you can go from this:


to this:


I didn’t know oceans came in that shade of blue. On the hotel balcony, I just stared at it, not quite believing this was a color nature allowed. It seemed almost synthetic, but it was deliciously real. For her part, the usually-over-functioning Tessa slipped into the warmth of the Bahamas like a favorite T-shirt. Or at least a T-shirt that has the belly stretched out to eight months pregnant.


I’d seen a few people parasailing at the Outer Banks, and it seemed a little Excessive and Foolish, but this time I decided to drop my smug snobbery and hoist my preggers wife into the atmosphere. Why is it that I dislike flying in airplanes so much, but will gladly tether my person to a few straps and a canvas balloon 200 feet over a rocky ocean?


The relationship between Tessa and me has always thrived on intellect, fast dialogue and being unafraid to think about anything too much. But high above the teal sea, I was able to relax into a perfect dream state with my gorgeous mate, suspended in air over a huge body of water, with the baby inside her suspended in water over an ocean of air.


0 thoughts on “SPF negative-25

  1. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Wow! I gotta change anti-depressants! Despite my daily intake of Lexapro, I am still too anxiety-ridden to hoist myself up in a parasail.
    Glad that you had such a great vacation. We missed you.

  2. Salem

    Congratulations on the vacation! Now that 80 hour work weeks are the default mode in our culture, I am more impressed with peoples ability to escape than I am their ability to achieve.
    As for the islands, I had the same cheesy perception of the Keys until I actually went. Something just washes away the stress. There is something majic about anyplace that I find myself sitting still on purpose.

  3. oliver

    I believe it. It’s sad how cynical we can be toward a famous wonder we’ve never seen. I don’t know if it’s cultural or what. It would be easy to blame it on TV and on the primate bias toward “seeing is believing” (you stare five minutes at a glowing cathode ray tube and come to associate the lukewarm experience that results with actually being at the place). But I think part of it may be from society designating particular things and places as important or exotic, which can predispose a iconoclastic person against them. Then you show up and realize the Statue of Liberty truly is something (I mean, the size of those toes!).

  4. Lyle

    Anyone who liked those photos, craves to experience similar, and has a bit more time for holiday, please come to Thailand! We need the tourism to aid the economic recovery from the tsunami. Thousands of people who survived the disaster are suffering financially now from the (understandable) severe drop in visitors — especially after the ridiculously wealthy prime minister saved face in his ongoing bid to depict Thailand as a “First World” nation by hastily declining offers of foreign aid. Believe me, they need help. And plenty of hotels are up and running, just begging for guests. Find a cheap ticket and get yer butts over here for a gorgeous natural setting, luxurious digs, delicious food and drink, and Thai massages — all dirt cheap for you but crucial for countless families to recover and move forward. It’s just a suggestion…


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