I’d like to thank my publicist


I suppose our screening of the rough cut of The Pink House and the Oscar ceremony this weekend pretty much sums up the spectrum of film entertainment – an unfinished DV feature on one hand, and the completed product of 1.7 billion dollars on the other – but we had reason to be satisfied.

It had been a long time since I’d seen the movie all the way through, and occasionally I forgot I’d written it; I could just enjoy the goings-on as if I’d wandered into the screening. An excellent problem (brought up by long-time commenter Oliver, who was there) is that we were going for a Baz Luhrmann-like bizarre landscape without having finished the movie, which can make all of our weird choices and frantic colors seem like, um, “bad moviemaking” if you’re not careful.

I trust we made the audience understood that “The Pink House” was merely a work in progress, and they returned the favor by laughing at a lot of scenes that I’d forgotten were funny. I have always said that I will pay a dollar for each good laugh in a movie; thus, if I’ve laughed seven times in North Carolina (ten times in New York City), I’ll have gotten my money’s worth. I’d say there were about 12 good ones on Friday night, so we might even be able to show the movie in London or Oslo one day.

Someone who is already showing his movies in Oslo and London is the awesome Jim Taylor, who, along with Alexander Payne, won the Oscar for “Sideways” last night. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer pair of guys, although we’re wondering how crazy it will now make their lives. Awesome to see somebody you actually know and respect holding the gold statuette.

And Chris Rock? I thought he comported himself decently, but I just don’t know if he is the right bundle of energy for something as stuffy and 7-second-delayed as the Oscar show. His material about “if you can’t get the star, wait” was nonsensical, and he probably deserved Sean Penn’s scolding re: Jude Law. I think Law is far too decent an actor to be a punchline. And Rock’s joke about Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz’s tits wouldn’t have been funny in my middle school soccer locker room.

Still, he remained solid, and god knows the show desperately needs some piss and vinegar. There’s something about American culture, after Nipplegate 2004™ and the desperate gnashing of teeth “about our children®!!!! ” that is so pre-chewed and boring that it’s making me want to surf Russian amputee porn just to get some taste back in my mouth.


*ahem* Time to surf!

0 thoughts on “I’d like to thank my publicist

  1. Annie

    I saw The Pink House (finally) on Friday night as well, and I laughed a lot, certainly more than 12 times (well, I was sitting next to Ian). Seriously though, I marveled (as I always do) at the sheer breadth of Ian’s comic imagination. While, as we know, many of his jokes come from the same ironic “family,” you could never have called one predictable (except perhaps the eggnog-in-a-condom), and in fact even though I had read the script a thousand years ago, I was surprised and delighted over and over as the movie unfolded. Certainly once the visual and aural inconsistencies are smoothed over the movie will feel much more professional, but it was still HELLA entertaining and a damn good piece a work, if ya ask me!
    Oliver, sorry I didn’t get the chance to meet you. I always enjoy your comments tremendously.
    p.s. Ian, I cannot count how many times this weekend I’ve spontaneously thought of Rick Gradone’s acid meltdown and chuckled to myself. The funniest.

  2. scruggs

    I love Chris Rock, but that’s not the kind of crowd he can play off of as much. However, the skit where he interviewed folks in a theater about White Chicks was hilarious.

  3. CL

    One of the big hazards of writing and revising is that you can no longer laugh at your own jokes. It’s good to see other people’s reactions.
    On another note, I wanted to thank you profusely for not writing about The Gates.

  4. Just Andrew

    1. really looking forward to seeing the movie, when is the Vermont screening?
    2. I don’t think I’ve ever watched an awards show, can’t stand the whole inbred back-slapping thing.
    3. I thought the term was pith and vinegar?

  5. Greg

    Hmmm. After wasting the last 30 minutes researching the distinctions between “piss and vinegar” and “pith and vinegar” I think I’ve determined that piss was the original form and pith is a newer variant coined by people offended by piss. At least one blogger reports that their family uses “pee and vinegar” for this phrase. One newsgroup writer posed the question as to whether it’s not really just an adaptation of “vim and vigor”
    I’ll never get those 30 minutes back, so I hope you appreciate it! sigh.

  6. oliver

    I’m a critic of rough-cuttedness, but I’m a booster of the movie. As others have commented, the script really does bristle with bon mots, and I’ll add that the arc/whatsit brings together more than one non-derivative, non-vaccuous feel-goodnesses to it. I’m really eager to see the finished product.
    Thanks for your remark, Annie. I was disappointed myself not to meet more Ianophiles, not to mention Tessa or even Ian himself for more than a minute and a half or so. But that’s likely to be remedied. Likewise, maybe the Webmaestro will see fit to broker a trading of e-mail addresses between us. Then you could be sorry you met me, instead of the reverse! I hope you won’t have conflated me with others here though, because I actually don’t care at all about basketball, and Duke struck me as nice when I toured the garden.

  7. Kevin

    One thing that bugs me about films, now that I’m developing presbyopia, is that the actor is not consistent with wearing glasses, contacts or presumably nothing at all. Is he wearing contacts when he doesn’t have his glasses on? It doesn’t seem to matter. Whatever the scene calls for… Personaly, unless your eyes have started flipping on you, it’s difficult to understand. Who cares, it’s not important. But when you’re thinking about going to Progressive Lenses – GLASSES (The Horror!) – every scene in every movie is judged by how accurate it is presented from a myopic/presbypoic point of view.

  8. Sean

    Dude, I don’t recognize the person who wrote this blog. Jude Law was in a ton of movies that *failed* this year, Rock made a joke about it and Sean Penn is a humorless boob. John Stewart showed the Penn clip last night and continued with “… and Mr. Youngman, I do not want to take your wife, as I already have one of my own…” Jude Law’s name was mentioned in front of a billion people, after being in seven movies this year. He’s gonna be just fine.


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