très bien ensemble


This whirlwind, bizarre and electrifying change in my life is now a week old, and I’m bursting with magnanimity for our stunning blessings, so I’d like to thank a few people this week for making this transition so much less scary than it could have been otherwise.

– First off, again, you folks on the internet are awesome. It never escapes me that all of you have your own intense lives and yet still come by to chat. As I said before, whenever I have pangs to give this up, it’s that delicious “comments” button that makes it worthwhile.


– Tessa’s mom Sandy was such a delight in her two weeks with us. Not only did she tell her boss in Texas what’s what, she was the rock that steadied us through 9.2 months pregnant, labor, and the first days at home.

– Oh yeah, Chopes was cool too. When we brought the baby home, the first thing he did was give her a big lick on the face. After we disinfected Lucy and aired out the room (his breath is atrocious) he settled into his sentry position and guarded All Who Dare Venture Near Her. Unless, of course, he’s asleep.


– This is going to sound hopeless fruity, but I’d like to thank the tree that stands outside our apartment. It sprang to life the same day Lucy did, and its pink leaves are stunning. When the going gets a little rough, and the screams curdle the blood, somehow that awesome tree outside is calming, even at night. I’m going to be quite sad when the flowers blow off.

– The friends that have sent us stuff? My god, what a fucking cornucopia of delight! Smart friends buy better toys than you can. And it really helps us that Laurie, Dana, Nell, Virginia, Hilary, Alia, Stasia, Jason & Tim, Carrie and Penny all are having kids this fiscal year so they can all be the same grade in school and keep each other from getting beat up.

– My family has been wonderful. Sean and Jordana, despite buying their first house and remolding it from the ground up, find time to come over from Astoria every other day (check out his blog for photos) and they even made us SOUP. My mom and dad call every day, Michelle wants to move back to NYC, Steve got us a play aquarium, and Kent gave us his name (and hopefully his preternatural calm), which is about all anyone could ask.


– I’d also like to thank The Internet, Modern Technology and more specifically, Apple Computer for the iSight that allowed us to show Lucy to her grandmother 3,200 miles away.


– My wife is unbelievable. She soldiered through some amazing events this week. I do whatever I can – laundry, dishes, driving, diaper changing, singing the entire “Rubber Soul” album to the baby – but breastfeeding and sleeplessness have only slowed her a tiny bit. She is delighted to find her ankles back, she fits into her old jeans, and I’m smooching the girl from 1987.

– Lastly, sweet Lucy. I never thought I would have you, never thought I would have any child. I honestly thought I was too screwed up, or had waited too long. I’m so happy my parents can know you, because in a way, I had to prove to them that I was going to end up okay, and you are in no small measure the proof itself. I can say to them that I got this far, and all the old shame and humiliation melt away. You are 9 pounds, 1 ounce of redemption for both of your parents. But enough about us.

How can I thank you enough, when I walk into a room and see this?


0 thoughts on “très bien ensemble

  1. mom

    Funny you say that you redeem yourself with your parents by producing Lucy, when, as I remember it, you were such a miracle to us when you were born. Still I also remember that when Kent (my first)) was born, I felt had somehow redeemed myself in my mother’s eyes, though she had never given me reason to think I wasn’t just fine. And I don’t remember for the life of me why I thought I needed to give birth to gain her full approval.
    Lucy is a miracle, and I’m passing proud of you and Tessa. But you didn’t need to go to such lengths to proove yourself. Lucy’ is just one hell of a bonus package.
    But it seems to me that, totally unaware, she has reminded all of us just how much we love each other. And that’s better than “redemption” any day.
    Love, Mom
    PS The iSight visit with her was splendid. She’s nailed her first screen test.

  2. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Thanks for the Chopes update! Glad to hear that he has settled into his new role as Lucy’s guardian.
    Good God, Man, fatherhood definitely suits you! I know the level of exhaustion that comes with caring for a newborn, but your entries in the past 2 weeks do not show any signs of a tired mind or delayed reactions. Beautiful photos! Beautiful words!
    I think that fatherhood has given you a whole new voice, and, dare I say, a slightly new perspective on the world? When my daughter was born, I realized two things: 1. being a parent made me want to strive to be a BETTER PERSON and 2. have this little baby/piece of immortality in my life made me appreciate all of the beauty in life: family, friends, even a beautiful tree. Your entry today articulated all of those thoughts better than I could.
    Makes the whole world look a little less dismal, doesn’t it?

  3. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Um, excuse me, but did you say that Tessa fits into her old jeans??? I noticed that she did not have the same “I just got hit by a truck – did anyone get the license plate number?” post-partum look that I was sporting for weeks, but THAT is amazing. I still can’t fit into my old jeans, almost 6 years later. Tessa rocks!

  4. CarolineM

    Congratulations during these heady times. I restrained myself yesterday from offering any child rearing advice, feeling that most everything had been covered, but today I can’t hold back…
    Oh my god, how on earth are you going to install a baby gate on those circular stairs??!!

  5. Killian

    Yes, kudos to Tessa for fitting back in her old jeans, but kudos to the BOTH of you for makin’ out a la 1987—THAT”S the bomb!! Let Lucy know from day one that she is a product of a luscious love, and all will be right with the world!

  6. Rebecca

    Ummm, excuse me, but is the dog laying on a Moroccan rug? Because my husband and I got one in Marrakesh that looks EXACTLY like that one. And if it is, then I will pass along one piece of knowledge I learned from experience: don’t spill anything on it because the blue runs.


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