holy shi’ite


Man, why are some Americans so goldurn stupid? A report comes out that interrogators had flushed copies of the Koran down the toilet in order to intimidate inmates at Guantanamo, and a few hours later, my old roommate Jiffer is dodging bullets in Jalalabad, Afghanistan. I’ll let today’s email from her speak for itself:

While walking across the compound to the cars we heard loud (close) machine gun fire. the security guy screams “bunker!” so we scurry back to the office and wait there… Ten minutes later, they say it is clear, a second attempt, more gunfire and we are back in the bunker. Soon the whole staff files in and a guard is eerily told to take down all of our names. The cause of the demonstrations, we learn, as we sit in the bunker, is apparently news from a recent returnee from the illegal prison in Guantanamo that Americans flushed Korans down the toilet. Riots broke out – we stayed in the bunker for an hour.

Word that the demonstration was moving in the opposite direction led security to throw us into the back of two cars, fly down the unpaved backroads and to the airport to catch our flight. we arrived at the airport amidst the sound of more gunfire and flew out in our little eight-seater over clouds of black smoke.

Reports have come in saying that the governors office and the human rights office and the red cross have been burnt to the ground. still unconfirmed. The rest of the UN staff was evacuated to the military base. They may be evacuating Logar, Wardak, Panjshir, Kandahar and other provinces because everyone is up in arms about Koran flushing – apparently demonstrations started yesterday in Pakistan. After unconfirmed rumors of an explosive devise here this morning, we are not allowed to go out at all. home. or others’ homes. and stay there… all this before noon today.

All I have to say to the people running The War On Terror: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? What vital piece of information on future attacks could POSSIBLY have been gleaned from flushing a Koran down the shitter? Was it like, “oh, I wasn’t going to tell you about our secret camp in Syria, but now that you’ve flushed my holy book down the latrine, I know you mean business”?

The Muslim world already thinks we’re a bunch of smug fuckholes who torture prisoners, and now this? And don’t give me the “we have to use extreme measures in this crisis” bullshit – everybody knows that Guantanamo’s info started getting stale about two months after the War on Terror started. Get us some information, you assholes, instead of desecrating an object guaranteed to enrage at least 1 billion people without any upside.

Jiffer is over there! I’ve got a baby daughter! I cross the Manhattan Bridge every day! GET US SOME PERTINENT COUNTER-INTELLIGENCE AND STOP PISSING MUSLIMS OFF FOR NO REASON!!!

As for this Bible-thumping administration, and, coincidentally, the drooling morons trying to force Creationism into the Kansas school system, I admit that I canceled my own protest in the bathroom tonight. I know that the Guantanamo folks flushed a Koran, but I’m not stupid enough to force my Bible in there. I may be a bleeding-heart lefty, but I’m not going to pay for a fucking plumber.

[update: Newsweek has basically retracted the story. I take the rant back if it was indeed false.]

0 thoughts on “holy shi’ite

  1. jif

    Sending little updates… Jalalabad went to “Yellow City” yesterday around 1pm – meaning all non-essential staff were evacuated. They arrived in Kabul yesterday evening. People were shaken-but ok. Homes were burned to the ground – including the one where I had dinner, the home of a colleague, the night before. Apparently unicef, unhcr and our provincial office there were torched too. One staff member was at a political party training when the mob burst through the gates of the office she was in. security led everyone out the back, shoved them over the ten foot wall and then corralled them into a neighboring office, guarded by coallition forces – who then, faced with the rapidly approaching angry mob, fired into the crowd.
    Sixteen rockets were fired in Logar province this morning. Apparently a demonstration that began at Kabul University in the eastern part of the city is currently moving toward the center of town – peacefully, but with potential.
    What people should be even more upset about, though this Koran flushing is absolutely deplorable, is the fact that some of their neighbors and relatives sit in an absolutely illegal prison with no due process and no explanation. I’ve heard from several Afghans that people who had personal qualms with neighbors would go to coallition soldiers and tell them that the neighbor was involved with al-Quaeda. The Coallition would then, without need for any additional evidence, invade the neighbor’s home, tear him from his family and ship him off to Guantanamo without another word and no system of appeal. And if John Bolton is confirmed, acting above and beyond international law and norms will become a million times worse and more commonplace. Don’t even get me started on that man….
    Anyway, thank you for this post Ian. I will keep you updated…

  2. oliver

    Do we really know that a Koran was flushed? It sounds too crazy to be true, and like just the sort of “information” that takes off whether true or not.

  3. Chris M

    May 12, 2005: Anti-American protests have spread to the capital, sparked by an unsubstantiated accusations by a U.S. newsmagazine. Newsweek magazine published a hearsay item about American interrogators at Guantanamo desecrating the Koran to intimidate suspected terrorists. The Taliban has been trying to spread similar stories, but have no credibility. American media has more clout, even if the story in question is basically a rumor. The pro-Taliban groups will push this story as much as they can, but the Taliban support is basically restricted to some Pushtun tribes in southern and eastern Afghanistan.

  4. oliver

    “Being in Afganistan sounds kind of stupid to me.”
    I don’t know: Rampaging militant religious mobs really just want to be loved like all the rest of us.

  5. trajan

    Sorry, that was in no way directed at Jiffer but rather was a shot at the dimwits, taliban types and American War mongers, that have managed to get us into this mess…

  6. lyle

    to the chris who wrote that being in afghanistan sounds kind of stupid — was that tongue in cheek? otherwise it’s a slap in the face of every person who goes to places of conflict to clean up/sort out/report on/etc. the mess left behind by war and/or natural disasters. at risk of sounding self-righteous, i daresay describing people who choose to work in afghanistan as “courageous” seems more appropriate. it’s not like jif is over there joy-riding around in a burqua just to get her rocks (huevos) off.
    but maybe you were just joking and i didn’t get it.

  7. lyle

    looking over my comment i realize that it did sound pretty self-righteous. sorry for bringing a strident tone to the proceedings…no hard feelings, chris, i just feel we owe a lot to people who risk their lives to do things that are necessary but most of us would never dare do. peace out.

  8. badbob

    Newsweek lied and people died. Glad it’d not your friend trying to help, but it could have been and still could be.
    This is a 1.2 billion group of folks where 70% of them, over 700,000 million, really believe that the Israeli Mossad are behind the 9-11 attacks.
    Save the vitriol for the “enemy”. Those 700 million or Newsweek magazine.

  9. Audra

    I am glad that you posted that this may not have been true. I am upset that newsweek posted this without confirming its sources to death, I know that it may still turn out to have happened but way for them to jump the gun and get people killed. I pray that your friend is safe. My friend just got back from Iraq.

  10. oliver

    What I heard on NPR is just that Newsweek now says their reporter’s source about the “Koran abuse” now says he can’t remember where he learned about it. NPR did not say that Newsweek said the source recanted, so I conclude he didn’t. Even so, Newsweek has to retract the Koran abuse claim, because their sole source for the claim is now acting weird, and you don’t stake your magazine’s reputation on the word acting fishy. Whether the source is acting fishy on his own recognizance or because he’s been fingered and now Rumsfeld has him by the balls is unclear. Equally unclear is whether he made up the story, because why should he confess to threatening national security by lying when he can just waffle? Or maybe he’s not waffling really, but he’s told the reporter that Rumsfeld has him by the balls and if the reporter ever wants him as a source again he’d better publish the source saying he “can’t recall.” Who knows if and when we’ll know the truth.

  11. oliver

    correction “and you don’t stake your magazine’s reputation on the word OF SOMEONE acting fishy”

  12. Libs Lie

    This blog has no credibility, just lies and propaganda. This clown who writes this blog, is he on the DNC payroll ? or on the CBS or NPR payroll ? This whole Koran story is just a pack of lies, even Newsweek admits to that now and retracted the story, it is funny to see these liberal bloggers drinking it down like KoolAid though.
    Liberals are lying, people are dying

  13. Libs Lie

    FACT : 13 people dead due to liberal Newsweek’s pack of lies, and Ian helps them spread their lies and left-wing propaganda

  14. badbob

    “Goebbels Greg” (the other one):
    What great references you use in your posts.
    1- “Mother Jones” 2- anti-war.com
    Have you checked the “National Enquirer” for more?
    Man, you ought to be a researcher for Newsweek or Bagdad Bob; remember him!

  15. Berl

    Oh, well if Antiwar.com says it, then I definitely know it must be the 100% truth.
    These liberals are getting dumber by the day, as evident by them electing Howard Dean as their leader.
    If Antiwar.com and Al Franken said that Hillary Clinton could fit into a size-2 dress, these liberal sheep would believe it.

  16. oliver

    According to NPR, the Red Cross/Red Crescent now says it believes American personnel subjected the Koran to “disrespectful” treatment in instances.


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