Jartacular Revels Complete, Ian Laid Low

Steve, here, Ian’s next-bigger brother. Ian picked up the phone at the farmhouse just long enough to ask me to fill in, and then he fell back into bed.

I missed it again, but Ian’s traditional Jartacular Memorial Day bacchanalia was, according to the Mom, a great success. This year, the event roughly coincided with Ian’s birthday, and there were three babies among the 40-or-so friends in attendance. I’m sure Ian has lots of photos and a full report coming here soon.

Alas, not long after the partyers parted, Ian perhaps unwisely extracted from the refrigerator and consumed some lobster bisque that may or may not have been a couple of days old. By Monday evening, he was laid low by several rather unpleasant symptoms we won’t go into in detail.

He seems to be on the mend and will be back here tomorrow, we hope.

0 thoughts on “Jartacular Revels Complete, Ian Laid Low

  1. killian

    Oh NO!! Gastro-intestinal dismay due to bad seafood? Would not wish THAT on hardly anyone, least of all my my blogging hero. Speedy recovery, IAN!!! Glad to hear that the revelries were otherwise quite wonderful! Bring on the pics.

    Reply
  2. scotty

    Uh, I don’t remember any lobster bisque showing up from Friday on – bisque at least four days old? Eeeeeeeeeewe.

    Reply
  3. KTS

    As long as you’re sick, why not read my story of the evening.
    **********
    Fucking Jesus Christ! A Floating Jesus, alone and at the Last Supper, is following me around!
    I first encountered this floating in the sky with clouds Floating Jesus last Friday. I was heading to an appointment and after leaving Austin stopped at a Quicky Mart for some breath freshener. Standing at the counter, right where you pay, unavoidable to see, was a framed electronic moving scene. Peaceful clouds, bearded Jesus with the clouds, Last Supper with the clouds, bearded Jesus, Last Supper with the Clouds, all floating and passing by on a screen… Endless passing repeated scenes on a cheap frame, $19.99. I was amused and horrified at the same time. Hell, I’m out in the fields. Conservative country. At least I don’t see this kind of shit in Austin. So I moved on to my appointment, forgot about the Floating Jesus, and the appointment went quite well.
    Tonight, I went out to pick up a sub at Subway. On the way back, I realized I only had one beer in the fridge so decided to stop at the local Market, the one right up the block from where I live. Owned and operated by very friendly, nice Muslims. I said high to one of the guys I knew who was mopping the floor, and heading straight to the beer cooler. And then I went to the cash register.
    Bloody hell! The same damn Floating Jesus, only $17.99, was floating across the same type of cheap frame and screen on the counter where you check out. Worse than the last place. It was completely unavoidable. I couldn’t even pay for the beer without my hands coming within six inches of FJ.
    What? What?
    I went into a rant to the clerk behind the counter about why, why was I was being confronted by a Floating Jesus? The guy behind the counter was new, from Pakistan (probably) and didn’t speak English very well. He didn’t have much of an idea of what I was talking about, except that I hated the Floating Jesus and that I planned on stopping by in the morning to bitch at the owner, who’s a casual friend of mine and general nice guy.
    As I was walking to my apartment, I warned my neighbors to Beware the Floating Jesus! One of them looked at me rather strangely. I asked why a Muslim who owned a store would put up something like that?
    The response, from the most intelligent girl sitting around (a professional juggler), was, “They’re trying to assimilate.”
    Huh? Probably more like profit and not understanding the culture. Or maybe she’s right. Maybe they understand this insane culture all too well.
    She said she’d go check out the Floating Jesus tomorrow morning.
    What the fuck?
    Where will the Floating Jesus confront me next?
    Beware the Floating Jesus!
    P.S. My Texas neighbor just walked in and is convinced that the Muslims who own the store up the street are in a massive crazy radical conspiracy with Allah which is all a bunch of stupid shit and they’re taking their time and accusing other countries of bad doing and now we’re all fucked because their going to get us, one little hole in the ground. If it wasn’t for oil, none of this shit would have happened. “I firmly believe that.”
    P.P.S. And this is a guy who hates Bush. Twenty First Century Schizoid Man. These days are weird.

    Reply

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