74 mph


This morning I’m starting the drive to Los Angeles, and while I like nothing better than to be on the road, it is absolutely heartbreaking to leave my sweet little Lucy and my love Tessa back in New York. They’ll meet me there in ten days or so by plane, but I have to drive so that we have the car (and our geriatric dog).

It’s my first long trip away from my wife in a while, and it’s the first trip ever away from my daughter. Plenty of friends and chipping in to help, and we’ve got some nanny coverage, but still, taking care of the li’l one is a HUGE job and Tessa, like Morrissey sang, has only got two hands.

She and I have never packed lightly, but throw all the shit a baby requires into the mix, and the Prius will be laden with clothes for a future 4-month old, a battery-operated swing, myriad methods of carting her around, and of course, all the various ways to collect and temporarily store poop.

Before I leave, I’d like to tell everyone in New York to have a wonderful summer – especially the Fleet Weekers who are working hard to headline the 2005 Fringe Festival in two months. Lindsay, Mac, Sean and Jordana have finally got their due, and we’ll be back to cheer them on in August for a kee-razy NYC weekend of wanton sex, cocaine use and musicals about gay sailors with identity crises.

Meanwhile, I’ll try to amuse you all with my usual turgid, self-involved, slightly-snooty persiflage from the deepest mauve of the red states. And if you’re anywhere on this line:


…tell me so I can wave as I drive past!

0 thoughts on “74 mph

  1. CL

    Just sent my guys out to clean da Turnpike so’s you and da pooch won’t experience any bumps. Should be 2.5 hours of smooth sailing.

  2. Greg from Winston Dorm

    If you’re going to be in the ATL for a pit stop, let me or Scruggs know and we’ll take you to the Grille for a taste of Chapel Hill in Atlanta over some cold brews. Just reply to one of my near daily UNC update emails. I’m pretty sure I would be able to find the loaded down Prius on the Connector.

  3. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Oh Man! By my calculations, you should be driving right through my neck of the woods through Maryland early this afternoon! If only I had known, I would have left a big pile of crap, um, I mean “child necessities” on I-95 for Lucy. I have 6 years worth of gently-used hand-me-downs for her! You and Chopes could have picked it up on the way. Oh well. Maybe you can get it on the way back!
    Have a safe trip! Since you won’t be able to photograph Tessa and Lucy, I am looking forward to lots of Chopes coverage!

  4. Just Andrew

    I have one brief prediction:
    Tonight, Ian will have the best night’s sleep he’s had since, oh, say April 14.

  5. oliver

    You can wave as you pass us in Raleigh and keep on waving, because it looks like we’ll be flanking you en route. Not sure yet, but we hope to head out to California Tuesday along more or less the same path.

  6. Greg (not THAT Greg, another Greg altogether)

    Please try not to hate the DC area too much as you get stuck in our traffic – I’ll be here on my porch in Falls Church sippin’ Port and sweating.
    BTW, thanks for including Alaska and Hawaii on the map so that it’s clear that you’ not driving through those states along the way :)

  7. kjf

    Hope you got a nice view of downtown Baltimore and the stadiums as you drove past my city of Baltimore (where we also hate DOOK) !
    Enjoy your trip! And I hope you have some good music with you (or satellite radio) because finding radio stations on that route is going to be nasty. Be safe. Keep your seat belt on!

  8. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA: Some time you need to have a XTCIAN.com fan tour. Kind of like when “Barney Live!” or “Dora the Explorer” comes to your town, you know?! You can map out all of your devoted readers along the way, and visit or dine with each of us, as time permits. I remember reading one of your entries from last year, wherein you were staying at a Days Inn in Glen Burnie, MD. I recognized that Days Inn, and I live about 20 minutes from there. Don’t know what you were doing there, aside from passing through, but I was struck by the fact that you were nearby. I see that kjf is in Baltimore. I think Just Andrew is in Maryland as well. You have a Maryland fan base! Not to mention your NC, VA, NY and Canadian admirers! Just think of the possibilities. . . you can meet your fans as you travel cross country. It could be exhilarating! Could be a nightmare! At worst, it could be fodder for your next book/screenplay/blog entry. How about it? I would be happy to organize the MD Fan Club Dinner. Just say the word. . . .

  9. Ian

    I was thinking more like everyone could meet in one place to see if anyone gets along. Plus, everyone wants to meet Ishie.

  10. Trayjen

    When you make it out to CA and your tired of LA and want to get of the city, drop on down to Laguna Beach, CA. (60 miles from LA) We would love to host you guys for a dinner and wine. TP

  11. furious

    Hey Greg from Winston Dorm: are you the Greg who, as an orientation mentor or something, once asked a new frosh from Newport News what the origin of that town’s name was?

  12. Rebecca

    Ian: Once you get to lovely SoCal, if you go to Laguna Beach to see Trayjen, then you should come by Irvine to say hello to us!
    By the way, when we moved here from NC 2 years ago, it was actually cheaper to ship the car (dasautoshippers.com) than for us to drive. Gas in my neighborhood is $2.45 for regular!
    Tell Tessa not to bring too much stuff for Lucy. Although I don’t think there’s a Buy Buy Baby in LA, we do have Target.
    Drive safely and we look forward to hearing about your journey.

  13. EssEm

    “Meanwhile, I’ll try to amuse you all with my usual turgid, self-involved, slightly-snooty persiflage…”
    Really, you do underestimate yourself.

  14. Bozoette Mary

    And when you south of Baltimore, wave as you pass Route 198 to Burtonsville! I’ll wave back. Better yet, get off, drive 5 miles west, and I’ll buy you a beer.

  15. Salem

    Jordana Rocks! I don’t know if it was really old or not, but her role as juror # ? on Law & Order this week was spectacular. I almost flipped out trying to TIVO quick, but due to a recent 6 inch lightening bolt hole through my house, the TIVO was just out of the box and not “updated” properly. I actually turned on the channel to catch a 2 second glance of Jordana in the jury box so by “spectacular” I mean that in those two seconds she communicated to me the clear message that the individual on trial would be receiving fair and impartial justice by a jury of his or her peers. I am so proud.

  16. kaz

    have a safe drive, ian! and, not that you need more invitations from people you haven’t met, but i’ll throw my hat in the ring with the other LA-based folks we’d love to say howdy! and i’m not even in orange county!
    also, if you’re bored in your hotel room somewhere in the middle of texas, here’s a shameless, but worthwhile, plug for a website and 4 minute short film meant to shake things up a bit:
    spread the word!


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