inchworm, measuring the marigold


Two years ago this second, Tessa and I were trying to eat creamed corn out of a plastic vat while sitting in a hot tub. We had just gotten married a few hours before, had the reception of a lifetime, and now we were at our B&B eating the dinner that was packed by the catering staff.

Bizarrely, the caterers didn’t really know what we meant by “pack us a late-night picnic for after the party,” so they sent us tubs of food without any silverware, and no drinks. The B&B was shut down for the night, so we were on our own: we filled thirty tiny Dixie cups full of water, got in the hot tub, and just plunged our hands into the food, getting it everywhere. When I think of my wedding, I’ll think of many incredible things, but one of them will be the swirls of corn cascading through the hot tub jets.

Now we’ve been in California a while, and I’m acutely missing all the friends and family we had in our barn two years ago tonight, but Tessa and I have each other, and she takes the pangs out of any longing. She has only gotten more beautiful, more funny, and more interesting with age.

Brain-dead American comic strips like They’ll Do It Every Time and The Lockhorns have made 125 years of jokes about forgetting your anniversary, and, I guess, having a wife that runs after you with a rolling pin, but I’m a big fan of anniversaries. The first year was apparently “paper,” and this year is “cotton,” and I’ve had things worked out for both.

Before we had Lucy, we were worried that our entire lives would be eaten up by talking about… um, y’know, Lucy. We made an agreement sometime in March that when the baby was born, we would reserve an hour at night for brat-free discussion (we already had the rule “no talking about work-related shit during the half-hour before sleep” anyway). It turns out that life is much more fluid than our best intentions, and we either obsess over Lucy or we don’t.

We have two elements to our marriage that keep us really happy: we don’t let anything fester into resentment, and we have remained extremely pliable. In other words, never go to bed mad, and don’t get too caught up on where your bed happens to be that night.

I love being married to this chick, man. She’s stunning in so many ways. Two years have sped by in some respects, but they’ve also felt like warm oceans of time. And even though it may seem a little self-involved, I picked some random pictures of us to put on the blog today. After all, this will someday be little more than a public scrapbook for my daughter, and because my parents never really loved each other, I know how important it is to show her two people who do. Quite terribly, in fact.










0 thoughts on “inchworm, measuring the marigold

  1. jif

    congratulations on your second anniversary!!!! to many, many more. the three of you are an inspiration – truly. love love love xxoo

  2. CL

    I think all of us chicks (and dudes) in Gen X would do well to show our children two parents who truly love and respect each other…even though that makes some of us take a realllly long time to figure it out.
    By the way, anyone who ordered Fleet Week tix by mail, they come in an unmarked envelope from California. Very secretive!

  3. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    So sweet! What a beautiful little family. I checked out your wedding photos — beautiful! Have a wonderful day.

  4. salem

    Look, if your going to have diner menus in your pictures could you work on your depth of field so I can read the prices?

  5. Bud

    Salem, you make an excellent point (as usual) — y’all’s wedding was the most *magical* event I’ve ever attended. Thank you. I hope your marriage continues to be magical. You deserve it.

  6. Claudia

    Happy Anniversary! What a wonderful post! Love the creamed corn and little Dixie cups visual. Shared meal memories are the best…right, Chris M?

  7. michelle

    Wow… two years ago, eh? That’s wild. It was extraordinary being with you guys and Lucy this past weekend. Congratulations, of course, but more, thank you for showing me how it can be done right.

  8. kaz

    congrats to you both…it really is inspiring to think that these kinds of romances are really still out there in the new millenium.

  9. Tanya

    congrats! Ain’t it grand?? I echo all the above and your own observation re: the importance of showing our children how to love each other. We get so caught up in making sure our kids know the names of all the capitals and how to do complex division, but forget sometimes the most important lessons we alone can teach them about love, compassion, trust, respect, etc…
    Best wishes as always!! :)

  10. kjf

    Congratulations on your anniversary! When we were all giving you baby advice for Lucy we forgot to tell you what you and Tessa already know….that parents who love each other don’t really need any advice.

  11. killian

    Late to this party, but chiming in heartily nonetheless. The three of you are BEAUTIMOUS. All sorts of love and best wishes!!


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