One obvious by-product of our zany Hollywood sojourns is the frequent spotting of stars past and present in pretty much every place we go. We’ve dealt with many kinds of stars – from last year’s Naked TV show, which had people on the brink of fame – to Lucy’s unbelievable amount of flirting and smiling with currently-hot Rachel Weisz and Famke Janssen last week.
The other sort of celebrity is one whose star has faded, and obviously, they’re the most populous. You see them sitting at the next table at lunch, pulling up to the stoplight in an old BMW, even yakking it up in a bar with a few similarly ex-famous friends. American culture cruelly calls these people “has-beens,” but today Tessa decided that she thinks being a “has-been” is actually quite nice. She figures it absolves you of past experience and allows you – if you let it – to get on with the next phase of your life.
I’m with her on that one, because the snarky assholes who always go on about “has-been” are never-weres themselves, most likely having never distinguished themselves in any field except sarcasm and schadenfreude.
The same goes for music snobs talking shit about “one-hit wonders”: they have one more hit than you ever had, you sniping butthole. Sure, you can denigrate Nena and Animotion all you want, but they also have a nice platinum record hanging in the hallway if you ever want to visit.
I say be nice to your has-beens; they put themselves out on the line for you, brought happiness to your younger, less cynical self, and ask for nothing in return but a simple nod and smile in their direction. Oh, and maybe the upper right-hand box on Hollywood Squares.