Dear American Psychological Operations (or PsyOps):
Just a quick note! I’d like to personally thank you for burning two Taliban soldiers, facing them toward Mecca, and then basically calling the Muslim troops “faggots” for not coming out to fight. That was really cool. Especially after Abu Ghraib, and the Koran/toilet scandal, this was another masterwork of international diplomacy.
I’m so glad you are doing your part to keep us safe here in America – I cross the Manhattan Bridge with my baby daughter a lot, and it warms the heart knowing you’re keeping those people in their place. Now they’ll never try and do something awful over here, right?
Some say that burning bodies – which is forbidden by the Koran – and pointing them toward Mecca would make any average teen in Saudi Arabia… well, seethe with uncontrollable rage. And maybe turn his life over to fundamentalist causes. And then either blow himself up while taking eight of our Marines with him, or maybe travel in America’s direction with a car full of fertilizer. But I’m sure you thought all that through. Pooh-pooh on those who say you’re a bunch of insensitive dickwits! Clearly they don’t know you put the “pysch!” in “psychological ops!”
Keep up the good work and give ’em hell!