jokers to the right


Ever since that day almost exactly a year ago when the hearts of progressives were broken by the election of 2004 we’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it has: a giant galosh covered in shit.

Oh sure, we kept our powder dry during the John Roberts confirmation (he seemed like a nice enough guy with a ton of experience), and we watched in delight as the Harriet Miers fiasco flummoxed the Republican Party.

We mourned as the 2000th soldier died in Iraq based on lies, and we cheered as the first Bush administration officials began to be indicted. We quaked with rage as the President botched the rescue during three hurricanes and then finally felt VINDICATED as his approval rating slipped into the 30s.

But that’s all over now. An embittered, pissed-off, entitled shrub of a Commander in Chief has now taken his toys and told us to fuck off: the nomination of Samuel Alito is one of the scariest things to happen to the judiciary of this country since the 1920s. Fitting, too, because Alito wouldn’t mind taking us back there – this man makes Sandra Day O’Connor look like Abbie Hoffman.

There are plenty of places you can go to find his past rulings – I’m not going to clog up the blog with them. It only takes a second to get a whiff of his cruelty, his pomposity, his desire to legislate law from any bench of his choosing. He is to the right of Scalia, an act of physics I thought impossible.

The worst thing is this: Bush is nominating someone who is virulently anti-choice on abortion, when well over 60% of the country wants to keep abortions safe and legal. With Bush’s popularity so low, and a vast majority of the country believing we’re going in the wrong direction, you’d think he’d nominate someone who at least shared our interests.

Nope. He’s a little bully that’s been backed into a corner and decided to lash out in one last desperate act: a small stone in a slingshot that takes out your eye.

Now is the time to truly contemplate American Coastopia, or perhaps another country. I know that sounds like wacky Baldwin Brother bullshit, but I am simply not going to allow my daughter to grow up in a country where she can be strip-searched at the age of 10 even without a warrant. I don’t want her to see people fired because they have AIDS. And if she wants an abortion one day, it’ll be heartbreaking, but by god, it’ll be safe and legal.

If we have to move to Norway for this to happen, then, well, fuck it. I’ll buy one of those sunlamps.

Cue comments from conservatives saying I’m wrong, cue others fighting them, cue nobody changing, zzzzzzzzzzzz