oh, the rogue – the red, red rogue


We’re off to LA on Saturday to check in with all our career goings-on, in our hopeful bid to be openly bi-coastal. Being a resident of both coasts wasn’t so hard back when I was a singly young buck with nary a care and a $145 round-trip ticket from Priceline, but now with the Tessalations and the Lucypants, it can not be undertaken lightly.

Parental blog readers, I’m sure you know what this I’m about to describe, but Lucy has had a terrible, virulent cold for almost three weeks. Actually, it’s two separate colds, and I know the poor sweetheart is trying to be in a good mood, but she’s just so sick of being sick. Last night was our hardest night as new parents: we slept from 7am to 9am and had a meeting at 11am.

This is the traditional “downtime” for TV writers, as they wait to see if their pilots are going to be shot, or picked up for airing. We’re going to take advantage by seeing Tessa’s mom in San Antonio next weekend, my dad in La Quinta, CA after that, and then the Dook game in Chapel Hill.

I find it odd that Lucy could come to last year’s game because she was in utero, but now she has to wait a while in order for the crowd not to freak her out. If this year’s outing is anything like years past, there will be violent mood swings, much screaming in adulation, and hopefully a belly full of redemption.

Have I ever told you how much I hate Duke? Remind me sometime.

0 thoughts on “oh, the rogue – the red, red rogue

  1. scruggs

    Traveling gets better and better when you don’t have to pack as much baby crap, and when the kid is on regular food.
    My disdain for Dook increases every time I see K. We watched the NC State/Dook game this week, and he is just so smug and swarmy. His facial expressions, his yelling at the refs, etc. I’m sorry, but Dean and Roy, though they had their moments, have more class. But what kills me is K’s reputation from class when all you hear behind the scenes is contradictory. Dean would have NEVER thrown his ass’t coach under the bus a la Gaudet and petitioned (the schools says it was it and not K, yeah, ok) the NCAA to not count the losses that year against his record. K’s coaches, K’s players…ouch, my back. And that AMEX commercial…My husband’s boss gave him the book on the Dook/Carolina rivalry, and its very interesting. I recommend.

  2. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Watch out for those lingering colds. Sometimes they lead to ear infections. You don’t want to mess with that. If Lucy develops a fever or wakes in the middle of the night screaming for no apparent reason. . . you might have an ear infection on your hands.
    And, I hate Duke also. Always have. Always will.

  3. Greg from Winston Dorm

    I loathe dook’s basketball team.
    Your blog needs a spell check feature so it will catch typos like the one in the penultimate sentence of your blog. Never capitalize their name and never use one “u” when two “o’s” will suffice.
    For the past two years I’ve had the good fortune to attend the annual home game against dook. Three years ago, I had the heartbreak of watching duhon’s last second drive in overtime.
    Last year, I had the vindication of seeing Marvelous Marvin tip in that shot in what TAR HEEL MONTHLY called (and I agree) the best game EVER in the Dean Dome.
    This year I will miss the game. Not because I won’t have a ticket, but my wife’s due date with our first is on Valentine’s Day, one week after the dook game. As much as I would like to attend the game, I understand enough about childbirth to know that it’s unpredictable. Ergo, I’ll watch from home.
    It’s probably better that way, as now I’ll be able to provide my in utero son with play by play commentary so that he comes out of the womb properly conditioned to hate dook.
    My friend wrote the definitive treastise on Why We Hate Duke [sic] and he advised me the other day that he’s going to update it and send it out in chapters, which I’ll release to my list of Tar Heel faithful.
    Scruggs, can I call dibs to wait in line to read Don’s book when you’re both done? I suspect I’ll have tons of time–in the middle of the night–on my hands in the coming weeks.
    Ian, I think you need to update and expand your old DTH article from 1990 on the subject of hating dook. I wonder where Lorna is these days.

  4. greg from winston dorm's roommate

    My favorite “I hate dook” story: In approx 1990, the “bloody Montross” game at the Dean Dome. I was there with Greg From Winston Dorm. We won and everyone charged the Court. Greg and I were out there acting like fools in the area beside the now-deserted dook bench. Then, in one beautifully simulataneous moment, Greg and I each saw that Mrs. K and her daughters (or should I call them the Devil’s spawn) were sitting about 12 rows back and were dabbing tears. I am not proud (OK, maybe a little) of how Greg and I then ratcheted up the obnoxious celebrating as all of the K spawn laid their eyes directly on us.
    In hindsight, I now know the K spawn were actually hurling a curse at us. Thankfully, I turned away in the nick of time. Sadly, Greg was hit in the waist with the curse. So, if you think his wee-wee was small before 1990, you (literally) ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

  5. Tanya

    Oh! Methinks I hear a vague promise of a new dook rant! You bestowed one upon us a year or so ago, and I still trot out the DTH article to my friends and family right before the game. I tellsya, fire like that just doesn’t burn out.
    I will pull for NC State any day of the week (as long as they’re not playing my boys in blue, of course), but under NO circumstances – none – will I ever cheer for dook. Dook vs. Indiana? Go Hoosiers! Dook vs. the Nazis? Go Nazis! Dook vs. Satan? So Satan!! Dook vs. al-Qaeda? heh….

  6. scruggs

    Greg, Don’s done with it, and I’m a 1/3 through it…should finish it just in time for when your “free time opens up.” Be careful, it can get you riled up. Also, we have a little something for Mr. Jake since I’d bet he’s gotten nothing Carolina yet. :-) Maybe the Cheyenne grill can build a small addition or convert a storage closet to a playroom. We can then have childcare for games.

  7. GFWD

    Scruggs, you rock! I might see you at the Grille on Sunday for the Carolina double-header: Tar Heels v. FSU and Panthers v. Seahawks in the NFC Championship.
    Roommate O’ Mine, the Devil Spawn threw cold water at my waist, thus the easily explained shrinkage.
    Hey, I think each one of you regular pro-Tar Heel dook haters should share your best or worst moment regarding the rivalry.

  8. greg from winston dorm's roommate

    Favorite anti-dook moment #2: I was not there, so Greg will have to tell you since it involves him. Greg, please share your Seton Hall comeback tale. I love that story because I can vividly imagine your face and body language.

  9. emma

    I knew it wouldn’t take Greg long to put in his two cents on this subject. I am just surprised he was able to keep his comment so short :)
    Ditto what Tanya says. I love cheering for State, but I hate every floor slappin, ugly cheerleadin’, tent sleepin’, dark paint wearin’, pepto bismol drinkin’and no foul gettin’ member of evil empire of Durham, NC.

  10. CL

    >>openly bi-coastal.
    That’s a deviant lifestyle!
    Just kidding. Anyway, I’ve said it before, but…good luck with the TV show. I’m sending positive energy across to the left coast.

  11. Kevin from Philadelphia

    You do know that JJ will have about 48 points, right? And now that Sheldon Williams can more than 4 minutes without a foul, and would say that my Blue Devils have the player advantage. However, since I am fair-minded (I am a liberal, afterall), I think that both a home court (as if a couple miles really makes for an away game) for the Heels and the BITTER rivalry between these teams makes a big difference. I say Duke by 12, but the score stays inside of a 7 point spread until the last 5 minutes.
    Let the hating begin – PLAYA HATERS (see yesterday’s post for Ian)

  12. hilary

    are you giving lucy steam showers? we’ve been on the twice a day steam shower regimen for two weeks now. really helps loosen things up in the chest cavity. i want to meet that baby girl; ok, i want for baby stella to meet that baby girl. good luck out west, and, are you KIDDING? lucy will LOVE being in the dean dome; i really don’t think it’ll freak her out

  13. chip

    JJ Redick is Neidermeyer. When he gets to the NBA he will be fragged by his own troops.
    Having said that, I actually like a lot of Duke graduates I’ve come across, including my three housemates in DC and a former resident of Club Boulevard.

  14. Kevin from Philadelphia

    Could really go either way on that one, couldn’t we, Emma. BTW, my favorite Duke moment is that somehow, someway, Shalick Randolph managed to make it into the NBA. Adding insult to injury, he plays for my 76ers. Even I can admit that guys blows!

  15. GFWD

    My roommate has made a request for a re-telling of an old tale. I probably cannot do it proper justice in this little forum but here goes.
    The year was 1989. Our team, led by Jeff Lebo and J.R. Reid, made it to the Great Eight which, much like our streak of Sweet Sixteens during that run, was almost a foregone conclusion every year.
    That particular year, however, we ran into a fiery hot shooter named Glen Rice and the Michigan Wolverines beat us. They advanced to the Final Four along with the Kendall Gill-led Illini, dook and Seton Hall.
    In the semi-final game with Seton Hall, dook took a commanding lead. At one point, they were up about 18 points. Freshman Chrissy Laettner was playing second fiddle to dook’s big man, Danny FAIRY [sic].
    Somehow and some way Seton Hall battled back and ended up winning by 17 points. I was overjoyed because, as all Tar Heels would agree, the only thing nearly as good as a Carolina win . . . is a dook loss. Being that dook was in the beginning of their consecutive Final Four run and Rat Bastard had failed to win it yet, the loss to Seton Hall was especially rewarding.
    So, I did what seemed to me to be a logical next step. I hopped in my car, scooped up some lovely ladies from Joyner Dorm (Kerry, Cheryl and Stephanie, for those keeping score at home) and drove over to durham to see my old high school buddy, who was living in Maxwell House in the middle of dook’s campus.
    I arrived in the main common room where about 40 stunned and silent dookies were gathered. I immediately spotted my friend and in my loudest, most obnoxious voice, I started questioning him thusly:
    “How in the hell did your team lose by 17 points after being up 18? That’s like a 35 point turnaround. That’s GOTTA sting. You must be DEVASTATED.”
    I was loud enough to get the attention of the entire room, but nary a word was said to me. Cameron Crazies? I don’t think so. Perhaps Cameron Wussies would be more appropriate.
    With hindsight, I probably should have suffered a beat down at the hands of the dookies. But, they were emasculated and about as dangerous as a beached jellyfish or a single piranha.
    That story is a little funnier in the telling in person, but it’s a proud moment nonetheless. Some time later in mid-90’s, I was at Selwyn Pub in Charlotte. It was during the summer, in the middle of the late rounds of the NBA playoffs.
    Danny Ferry played for the Cleveland Cavaliers then. He also had hair then, but I digress. Cleveland had just gotten put out of the playoffs by MJ’s Bulls and, in one of the games of that series, Ferry had tried to start a fight with Jordan.
    So, I’m seated with my friends in Selwyn, when in walked Ferry. There was no fanfare because, as I later learned, he was a regular. He sat at a high top table and talked with a buddy. He looked no different from any of the other patrons–mainly former Carolina folks–who frequented the bar.
    After giving it some thought, I called the waitress over to my table and told her to tell Ferry to buy me a beer. She looked at me quizzically and I repeated myself with some exaggerated histrionics:
    She reluctantly went over to him and whispered in his ear. He looked up at her quizzically and then she pointed to me.
    I had a smug obnoxious look on my face. Something about dealing with dookies just brings out that otherwise undesirable trait in me.
    Danny looked my way and gave a reluctant nod and the lady returned with a Miller Lite bottle. Victory was mine.
    I then walked over to Ferry and introduced myself. I thanked him for the beer and offered to buy him one. He was a nice guy. I’m almost ashamed to admit that.
    Anyhoo, things were going well. Or as well as can be expected when an obnoxious guy blows your cover, demands beer and then starts invading your personal space.
    That’s when I remembered my job as Carolina’s self-appointed Minister of Rhetoric and Defender of Everything Tar Heel.
    So I said, “Why you have to try and hit Michael Jordan in that playoff game?”
    He just looked at me and the “friendship” kind of deteriorated from there.
    Haven’t really had too many run-ins with dookies since that day.

  16. greg from winston dorm's roommate

    Greg, that story and your airport story with Melanie, when told in person, make me cry with laughter every time.

  17. scruggs

    I will say that I have forever harbored this crush on Wojo, and I can’t explain it.
    GFWD, remind me sometime to tell you about my run-in with Jeff McGinnis. In summary, he had to be restrained while Makhtar (now referred to as Smacktar) is yelling at him to “smack the b$#@$.” All with Don and Jordy from Bub’s trying to get me in a cab as fast as possible. Not one of my proudest moments!

  18. A horrified and shocked GFWD

    Scruggs, neither Don nor I look like Wojo and we are, without a doubt, two of the sexiest men you know. How could Wojo even BEGIN to creep into the mix, when your tastes run from dark brown hair to bald?
    Might I suggest that you self-administer some shock therapy and SOON, so that this Wojo debacle is out of your system by the next time I see you . . . else I might have to call on Smacktar to come finish the job! Smile.
    I am ready for the McGinnis story any time you’re ready. That will prompt me to share the story that Dean (Roommate of GFWD) and I witnessed one night at TIME OUT–“Attack of the Celery”.

  19. scruggs

    OK, not his finest moment:
    The Krzyzewski-Wojo lovefest produced this Velveeta prose in the Duke media guide: “Steve Wojciechowski, rushing across the court after Duke’s 1998 victory over North Carolina, looking for his coach. The coach catching his player’s eyes and finding him through a rush of fans streaming on the court to celebrate. Ultimately, the two embrace with tears running down their cheeks, in celebration of the accomplishment and the relationship between coach and player.”
    He’s like a little Rudy.

  20. greg from winston dorm's roommate

    This will show you how much I hate dook: My oldest son was born with some birth defects (but is progressing miraculously, by the way). Anyway, after months and months and months of speech therapy, you can’t imagine how proud I was when he finally imitated me out in the driveway — when he dunked on his Fisher Price goal, I swear to God he said “In you face, dookie!” Brings a tear to my eye every time, and he now says it EACH AND EVERY time he dunks. He thinks it is hysterical, my wife thinks it is child abuse, but I think it is the role of every proud UNC parent to instill certain values in their children.
    When he cuddles up to me on the couch to watch the Heels, I’ll show him an instant replay of some dunk and will say “See, Braden, that guy just said ‘in your face, dookie.’ ” and he laughs. Aaah, to be 4 years old and to already hate dook. Kids today are so much more advanced than I was at age 4!

  21. xuxE

    3 weeks with a cold? that seems a bit much to me, i’d be pissed off too. if it’s a head cold, what i do is get the little noses saline, hold the kid down, and squirt some up there one nostril at a time. kids version of a netti pot. they HATE it… until afterwards when they feel better and run off to play all smiling. you have to be one of those nerves of steel parents though that can straddle a screaming kid and pull out a splinter, that kind of thing. for chest colds, i go with the albuterol nebulizer, i’m all western meds for those.

  22. xuxE

    ohmigod i was just talking bout colds with a friend of mine and i remembered something – you said you are flying and babygirl has a cold, which at her age is probably right up alongside an ear infection as well? if you have any chance of getting her ears checked before you fly you should, because ruptured eardrum makes for much baby pain. take off and landing are especially hard as they pressurize the cabin and change altitude. one remedy a pediatrician recommended was some sudafed right before and during the flight, as well as tylenol. sudafed will dry out the eustacian tubes a bit so there’s not so much fluid behind the eardrum. tylenol obviously for pain.
    ok there now, whew.

  23. Neva

    This story from last fall helped remind me of how much I hate Dookies. The self-important arrogance is was does it for me. I unfortunately had my share of it since I dated a guy at Duke for more than half of my years at UNC (we were high school sweeties). Luckily, I saw the ignorance of my ways as wised up. Somehow, growing up I thought I would go to Duke. It had that important sound about it, but, as in your 1990 DTH article, all it took for me was one visit as a high schooler and I was so turned off there was no going back!

  24. emma

    I move that we badmouth dook prior ro every game in hope of the great mojo (not to be confused with WOjo) prior to every dook game for the great mojo that we created for the georgetown game.

  25. Ian

    xuxE – we went to the doctor yesterday beforehand and she gave us the all-clear. Lucy was actually a flirty little dreamboat on the plane.
    Go John Thompson III!


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