#2 pencil

1/26/06

Please fill in your answers on a sheet of paper, then enter in comments section. Do not look at other commenters’ answers before entering yours. Please remember the Honor Code as you take your test. Good luck!

1. The best topping is _______, except when it is covered by _________.

2. _________ is by far the sexiest planet.

3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of _________”?

4. I asked for no _________, and yet you put ___________ on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?

5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da __ __ __ _____.

6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my _________.

7. “__________ and __________ is what’s kept me young.”

8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to _________ __________.

9. Fuck you, you ________ __________.

10. Enough about me, let’s talk about ______ ______ _______.

0 thoughts on “#2 pencil

  1. hk

    2. Uranus is by far the sexiest planet.
    1. The best topping is Uranus, except when it is covered by someone else.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of Uranus lover?”?
    4. I asked for no love, and yet you put Uranus on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da __ __ __ _____.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my Uranaus.
    7. “Myanus and Uranus is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to exploring Uranus.
    9. Fuck you, you Anus.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about Uranus.

    Reply
  2. scruggs

    1. The best topping (pizza?) is eggplant, except when it is covered by mushrooms.
    2. Jupiter is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of closet cowboy”?
    4. [in redneck voice] I asked for no mushrooms, and yet you put portobello on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da splat.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my caboose.
    7. “Denial and regression is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to a flashlight.
    9. Fuck you, you Indian casino lover.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about why a continued course of 20 turnovers a game will drive me to insanity.

    Reply
  3. GFWD

    1. The best topping for ice cream is HOT CARAMEL, except when it is a heaping bowl of pasta and it’s covered by CHEESE.
    2. SATURN is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of RETARD”?
    4. I asked for no SQUID, and yet you put CALAMARI on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, der KOMMISAR’S IN TOWN, UH OH.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my OTHER CAR, IT’S AN ACCORD.
    7. “MUSIC and COMEDY is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to CHANGE, DID YOU EXCHANGE A WALK ON PART IN THE WAR FOR A LEAD ROLE IN A CAGE.
    9. Fuck you, you FUCKING FUCK. (best shirt they sell in the French Quarter)
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about SEX BABY.

    Reply
  4. Scott M.

    1. The best topping is HOT FUDGE, except when it is covered by NUTS.
    2. SATURN is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of FREAK”?
    4. I asked for no _________, and yet you put ___________ on it. Do you not know they are one and the same? (nothing came to mind)
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da DE DE DUM DUM.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my CD COLLECTION.
    7. “BASKETBALL and GAMES are what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to SOMETHING RANDOM.
    9. Fuck you, you BUSH-LOVING BASTARD.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about YOUR FAVORITE BANDS.
    These are the first things that came to mind. Things would be different if I was trying to be funny, of course.

    Reply
  5. Just Andrew

    1. The best topping is pesto, except when it is covered by pineapple.
    2. Venus is by far the sexiest planet (isn’t that where women are from?).
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of insurance salesman”?
    4. I asked for no lies, and yet you put fantasy on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da do de doot do.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my shrunken head collection.
    7. “pissin’ and moanin’ is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to New Jersey wines.
    9. Fuck you, you cum burping gutter slut.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about belly button lint.

    Reply
  6. Joe Caparo

    1. The best topping is Andouille, except when it is covered by anchovies.
    2. Venus is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of cretinous faecal encephalo”?
    4. I asked for no Bush, and yet you put Satan on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da t’row da bums out.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my left one.
    7. “Luck and genetics are what have kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to warm jets.
    9. Fuck you, you fucking fuck, you.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about when they finally woke up and impeached Bush.

    Reply
  7. kent

    1. The best topping is all of that junk, except when it is covered by all of that junk that’s in your trunk.
    2. All that ass is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of love drunk off my hump?”
    4. I asked for no Dolce, and yet you put Gabbana on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da my lovely lady lumps
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my humps.
    7. “spendin all your money on me and all that ass inside them jeans is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to my lovely lady lumps, check it out!
    .
    9. Fuck you, you boys they wanna sex me. They always standing next to me.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about my humps.

    Reply
  8. craighill

    1)the best topping is hershey’s chocolate except when it’s covered by nuts.
    2) earth is by far the sexiest planet.
    3)what are you, some kind of asshole?
    4)i asked for no whipped cream yet u put cool whip ON ME, don’t you know they’re one in the same?
    5)bum de de dum, dum de dum de, das boot.
    6)if you think that’s nice, you should see my wolf kahn in the bedroom.
    7)stoli & merits are what have kept me young.
    8)french fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to a hot carl.
    9)fuck you you fucking fuck.
    10) enough about me, let’s talk about me.

    Reply
  9. Claverack Weekender

    1. The best topping is PERFORATED SOLVY, except when it is covered by VERY WIDE WALE.
    2. DAGOBAH is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of POSEUR? Y’all’s beloved NY Times Style Guide puts punctuation inside the closing quotation mark.”
    4. I asked for six pumps, two splendas, no foam, no whip, 190, bitch!
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da da dee da da d’da da.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my AVATAR’S.
    7. “TOFU and BOTOX is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM.
    9. Fuck you, you PEPSI-DRINKING NORTHERNER.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about BRAD AND ANGELINA’S BABY!

    Reply
  10. lindsay

    1. The best topping is semen, except when it is covered by semen.
    2. Semen is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of semen”?
    4. I asked for no semen, and yet you put semen on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da semen.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my semen.
    7. “semen and semen is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to semen.
    9. Fuck you, you semen.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about semen.

    Reply
  11. Claudia

    1. The best topping is caramel, except when it is covered by bananas.
    2. Earth is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of Yuppie”?
    4. I asked for no mayonnaise, and yet you put aioli on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da la la la laaaa.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my homemade fettuccine.
    7. “Sunblock and clean living [are] what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to ice cream.
    9. Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about chocolate chip cookies.
    Good one, Ian!

    Reply
  12. kevin from NC

    1) Wet walnuts except when covered w/Caramel
    2) Saturn
    3)You some kinda college graduate?
    4)I told you no cheese yet I got cheeze wiz
    5)da me dum dum
    6)you should see my road Bike
    7)My employees and crazy clients keep me young
    8) as cold comfort is to a Cuban
    9) FU you internet blogger
    10)Let’s talk about what you’re doing

    Reply
  13. Cap'n Inappropriate

    1. The best topping is a hot brunette, except when it is covered by a big fat guy.
    2. Planet Claire is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of latte aficionado”?
    4. I asked for no shitstain, and yet you put dook blue on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da bitch is back in town.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my *other* wife.
    7. “Yer mom and yer sister is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to Janet Reno.
    9. Fuck you, you latte aficianado.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about my other wife.

    Reply
  14. Sean M

    1. The best topping is caramel, except when it is covered by fruit.
    2. Uranus is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of girly man”? (Austrian redneck)
    4. I asked for no turnips, and yet you put rutabegas on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da la la la la.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my brother’s.
    7. “Coffee and laughter is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to more french fries.
    9. Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about that guy over there.

    Reply
  15. tregen

    1. 1. The best topping is salsa, except when it is covered by cheese.
    2. Venus is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of HOOOMMOOOO”?
    4. I asked for no germs, and yet you put your ass on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, dum dumb dumber dumbest…
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my feet.
    7. “smiles and laughter is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to southern comfort.
    9. Fuck you, you ignorant ass-clown.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about sex drugs & rock-roll.

    Reply
  16. Alan

    1. The best topping is caramel, except when it is covered by CoolWhip.
    2. Earth is by far the sexiest planet. {Only home of sexual reproduction}
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of oncologist”? [Red necks are sign of skin cancers]
    4. I asked for no CheeseWhiz, and yet you put CheeseWaz on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da rum-pee-tum-tum.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my compost pile.
    7. “Gin and ciggies is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to cold calling.
    9. Fuck you, you self-sexing hermaphrodite.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about people who love me and why.

    Reply
  17. Alyson

    1. hot fudge, cement
    2. Venus
    3. Communist
    4. mayo, tartar sauce
    5. da da da dum
    6. collection of King Lear copies
    7. sex, jokes
    8. Mad Libs
    9. trifling asshole
    10. me some more.

    Reply
  18. Annie

    1) the best topping is cheese; except when it is covered by warm green olives
    2) the sexiest planet is Pluto
    3) “What arr yew, sum kine uh roasted ox with a pudding for its belly?”
    4) I asked for no sauerkraut; yet you put kimchee on it. Do you not know they are one in the same?
    5) da da da daaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    6) If you think that’s nice, you should see my reverse chinchilla underpants
    7) ADD and indecision is what’s kept me young
    8) French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfor is to boring sex
    9) Fuck you, you thong wearer!
    10) Enough about me, let’s talk about how you fucked up again

    Reply
  19. xuxE

    1. The best topping is hot fudge, except when it is covered by sardines.
    2. neptune is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of european”?
    4. I asked for no dressing, and yet you put mayonnaise on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da dum da dum ba-dedededede bada bum
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my ass.
    7. “fucking and playing is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to something else.
    9. Fuck you, you self absorbed sycophant.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about music and art.

    Reply
  20. TDSUNC92

    1/26/06
    Please fill in your answers on a sheet of paper, then enter in comments section. Do not look at other commenters’ answers before entering yours. Please remember the Honor Code as you take your test. Good luck!
    1. The best topping is chicken, except when it is covered by salmon.
    2. pluto is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of skunkmolly”?
    4. I asked for no crabs, and yet you put crustaceans on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da horatio.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my doppelganger.
    7. “sturm and drang is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to blowing interviews.
    9. Fuck you, you occam’s razor.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about cutie von tatum.

    Reply
  21. CP

    1. The best topping is a hybrid of butterscotch and caramel that I believe has yet to be marketed (though someone so inclined and resourceful could potentially make a million and a half bucks were they to patent such a brilliant dare I say even revolutionary dessert innovation…), except when it is in a person’s mouth other than mine or in certain cases those of my loved ones.
    2. Echo Park, where Courtney and Annie live, is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of person about whom my colleagues and I might tend to describe as being Not From Around These Here Parts”?
    4. I asked for no pity, and yet you put a link to the Pity Party E-vite at which I’m supposed to be the Guest of Honor on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da Call me Ishmael.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my After Picture.
    7. “1977 and 2006 is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to lukewarm dada.
    9. Fuck you, you — FUCK YOU!!!
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about Oprah, James Frey, Chris Penn.

    Reply
  22. wottop

    1. The best topping is _Chocolate Syrup_, except when it is covered by _any kind of nut_.
    2. _Venus_ is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of _College boy_”?
    4. I asked for no _dressing_, and yet you put _mayo_ on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da _[shit, ya got me]_.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my _waffle iron_.
    7. “_techno gadgets_ and _The Tick cartoon_ is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to _snow_ _blower_.
    9. Fuck you, you _you_ _you …._.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about _anything_ _Carolina_ _Basketball_.

    Reply
  23. kmeelyon

    1. hot fudge, whipped cream
    2. Saturn
    3. retard
    4. dairy, cheese
    5. da da da dum
    6. sister’s
    7. Sex, immaturity
    8. underage sailors
    9. bitchy fanboy
    10. the negotiation form

    Reply
  24. caveman

    1. The best topping is chocolate jiimies, except when it is covered by molten chocolate.
    2. Venus is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of idjit”?
    4. I asked for no JJ Reddick, and yet you put the most overrated player in the history of college basketball on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da boobbsie, boobbsie bop…diddy bop
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my real one.
    7. “Laughter and booze is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to xanax.
    9. Fuck you, you mother fucker
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about more dumb shit.

    Reply
  25. Ian

    ANSWERS:
    1. The best topping is all of that junk, except when it is covered by all of that junk that’s in your trunk.
    2. DAGOBAH is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of skunkmolly”?
    4. I asked for no semen, and yet you put semen on it. Do you not know they are one and the same? [JJ Reddick answer also counts]
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da rum-pee-tum-tum.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my reverse chinchilla underpants.
    7. “Denial and regression is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to underage sailors.
    9. Fuck you, you occam’s razor. (credit also for “fucking fuck” and “you…you…” and “FUCK YOU” and “Bush-loving bastard.”
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about the negotiation form.

    Reply
  26. Pearl

    The best topping is cheese, except when it is covered by bacon.
    2. Earth is by far the sexiest planet.
    3. [in redneck voice] “What are you, some kind of varmit”?
    4. I asked for no lip, and yet you put ‘tude on it. Do you not know they are one and the same?
    5. Bum de de dum, dum-de dum-dum de-dum, da do do de deee.
    6. If you think that’s nice, you should see my poetry.
    7. “Holidays and hollandaise sauce is what’s kept me young.”
    8. French fries are to venetian blinds as cold comfort is to union organizers.
    9. Fuck you, you ewe ram lambadang dohhickiemeister.
    10. Enough about me, let’s talk about housing for the homeless.

    Reply

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