oh this will never do


Arrived in Venice, CA at 2:14am safely. On Book 10 of the Aubrey/Maturin “Master and Commander” series, “The Far Side of the World.” Book bears almost no resemblance to movie starring Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany. I would imagine those who saw the movie and then read the book were either utterly confused or utterly riveted.

My lumbar muscles can’t quite take five days in the car like they used to. Still want to drive to Anchorage on that highway, though.

“Exhaustion” from this trip doesn’t give quite enough meaning to the word. Almost fell asleep thinking of a better word. Desire others in comments section to make this blog interesting tonight, as I have no sweeping generalizations to add. Except that conservatives are terrible in bed. Discuss.

0 thoughts on “oh this will never do

  1. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Conservatives bad in bed? Interesting. . . .
    Riddle me this. . . what about anti-depressant users in bed? It is a question I pose to my psychiatrist often enough. It is quite ironic that anti-depressants are intended to alleviate depression and help the patient enjoy life more, YET many anti-depressants put a damper on the patient’s libido. An extinguised sex life leads to marital tension which may lead to more depression. Which chemist’s dumb idea was that??!?

  2. killian

    WOW. can’t believe i’m the first to comment. . .hmmmm.
    my first impulse is to agree that YES, they are. but then there were a few who were SO conservative (read: repressed) in SOME areas that in bed they just flourished. All that energy/pressure from thwarted desires, I guess. Go figure. ;)
    Please do not fall asleep at the wheel, Ian. You must live to rue the day that Lucy tries her first conservative. That, or she becomes a groupie to an incarnation of the sexpistols. either way, you’ll need to be on your best game.

  3. scruggs

    Hmmm. I think I was much more of a hootch when I was a conservative.
    Did you not make a pit stop for the State game? Didn’t expect to just whip them like that. Love beating State.

  4. emma

    To add to Killian’s list of rues that Ian must live to see, How ’bout the day that Lucy asks if she can fill out an application to Dook.

  5. caroline

    ROFL…my current lover says almost the exact same thing, to wit, that if you want to have a glorious romp in the sack, bed a liberal…he says the conservative women tend to just lie there.

  6. Claudia

    I subscribe to the theory that everyone has a rebellious streak–EVERYONE. And it’s gotta come out somewhere. So, if you’re “conservative” in your regular life, that leaves the bedroom as your outlet. Therefore, the exact opposite of your hypothesis would be true.

  7. Neva

    Sorry to change the topic – amusing as it is, but I need technology assistance and you guys seem like good people to ask. I just bought an ipod and I can’t get my music from my computer Windows Media player to move over to itunes. They say they can’t covert them. These were tunes I paid for on Napster and worked fine on my old (crappy) Rio MP3 player. Help! I’m so frustrated I’m ready to throw the thing across the room. Any help you can give me I’d appreciate! Thanks,
    On another note – LFMD has a good point about SSRIs and libido. I hear that complaint daily – except about Wellbutrin. I cannot figure out why other drug companies haven’t made another wellbutrin drug (it’s the only one in it’s class).

  8. Anne D.

    Ian, I just started Book 19 of the Master and Commander series. Only one more to go after this. I dread finishing the series… What will I have to look forward to?? Wonderful books.
    The Russell Crowe movie indeed was a different creature, but I enjoyed it on its own merits and actually bought the DVD. Bettany was an odd choice for Maturin, though, at least physically.

  9. GFWD

    Scruggs, Carolina beat that State College ass like a rented mule.
    Neva, My wife got me the 60 gig iPod for the birth of our son, but I don’t know how to transfer from Windowns Media Player. Sorry.
    No comment on the bedding of conservative chicks.

  10. Neva

    Wow, I’ve never heard of the wife giving the Dad a present for the birth of their child. What a great couple you must be! And.. congrats too by the way. Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of parenthood..

  11. michelle

    Conservatives in the sack are like SUVs, in my experience- a guilty pleasure, but a ride worth taking once in a while.
    Although if I never had to do either again, I certainly wouldn’t complain.

  12. xuxE

    oh, THAT.
    i think it’s pretty obvious that the reason why liberal women go seeking conservatives for a romp is because they want to get some submissive role play, which they can’t get with liberal guys because the whole fascist catherine mckinnon ideology has led the liberals to think it’s wrong and demeaning to women.

  13. Kate from the DTH front desk

    When I got an iPod for xmas last year, I had to burn all of my music off of my Windows Media Player onto CDs, then put the CDs back into my computer and import them into iTunes. It meant typing in the name and artist for every song, but it’s the only way I could ever do it.
    I’m sure you’ve tried the Apple site, but if not, you should scan it… they have step by step instructions for pretty much everything, so they might have something on there that can help you.
    Sorry and good luck!

  14. CP

    never shagged a conservative. or a southern girl for that matter, unless you count southern california, of which I prefer northern (not to live, just that for a variety of reasons the women are far more appealing to me. luckily, many of them move down here…)
    and from the rumor mill: heard a story once about a girl from the midwest who went to college with my friend vas, who after college began dating an aide to john ashcroft. she confided in vas (or vas’ friend eddie rock, can’t remember where I heard the story) that her boyfriend, a conservative christian or catholic or something, refused to have intercourse with her since to do that before marriage was a sin (as also according to him was homosexuality), but he did have quite the proclivity for anal sex.
    on that note, work beckons.

  15. true confessions

    How disappointing. I read the blog this morning and thought it should be a juicy read by the end of the day. Anyway, I remember reading very religious women have an easier time with orgasm. And that girls who have sex at an early age (maybe more liberal?) have a harder time even as adults, perhaps because they became sexually active before they were emotionally ready.
    From personal experience, I’d have to say that Ian may not be right. I’m recalling the freak who prayed before french fries and then again before burger but was also freakishly good in bed. Also, the conservative French guy who was quite opposed to topless beaches (and he was French!)but knew tricks I guess they don’t teach in the US. And then there was this Mormon . . .

  16. badbob

    I’m on #5, Desolation Island. It’s a great thing to know there are 15 more.
    I saw the movie first. I noticed my man Killick was portrayed, as was the cheerful and competent Pullings. Russell Crowe gave a good performance as Jack but I don’t think he could switch into the Jack ashore role (sort of bumbling). Stephen M. was underplayed in the movie- maybe they should of had him reading from his unusual diary.
    I wish I’d have read this stuff when I was a LT 30 years ago. It would have saved at least 15 credits I took in the school of hard (US Navy) knocks learning my job!

  17. Ian

    Neva, I’ve heard good things about this program that converts WMA files into MP3s:
    However, you might lose some quality, since you’re going from one compression format to another. If you’re an audiophile or have a lot of vested interest in keeping your music sounding pristine, the idea of burning a CD, then re-importing it into iTunes is your best bet.
    BB and Anne D. – The “Master and Commander” movie is pretty great, but they really did mess up the dynamic between Stephen and Jack. Aubrey, in the book, is sort of a good-natured fratboy with the occasional inner demon, and Crowe played him like a tortured hero. Bettany was physically all wrong for Maturin, but I liked him anyway.
    My big beef is that they didn’t capture the playful sarcasm and mutual respect of the two men, instead opting for a Hollywoodized amped-up near-fight. The only time Aubrey and Maturin had a real argument, they almost had a duel, and since that moment, their relationship has always remained fascinatingly even keel.
    I don’t know, it’s hard to describe. The books – and their effects on the reader – are impossible to relate to anyone who hasn’t read them, obviously. I think that historical fiction was immensely lucky to have some as talented as Patrick O’Brian writing in the genre. He could have done anything.

  18. badbob

    re- JA/Maturin series. I’d also recommend to anyone reading them to buy one of the several Lexicon “gouge” books to accompany and understand the early 18th century language O’Brian writes in.
    O’Brian a genius? Aye.


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