sincerity is the new irony


I don’t ask anything of you, I really don’t. I’ve been writing in this space for 4 1/2 years now, through my nervous breakdown, my marriage proposal, nuptials, birth of my first born, various book and magazine ideas – and hopefully, given a place for all of you to leave comments, reconnect, disagree and socialize.

In the beginning when I had no money, my brother Steve and I talked about putting ads on the site, a method used by Dooce, Atrios, the Instapundit and a lot of others. Some people, like Salon, have a subscription-based service. You may think this blog isn’t worth ads, nor a subscriber fee, and I agree: I almost never show my tits.

But now I’m asking something of you – all of you, whether you’re my good friends, blog acquaintances, or merely lurkers who visit my humble site. All I request is that you DO ONE THING. Make fun of me all you want, but you must pick one thing mentioned in this blog to help negate your share of global warming.

Yes, I know what I sound like. Yes, I realize it’s not 1966 and there’s no spiritual movement afoot. But the crisis we’re in is not funny anymore, it’s not cute, it’s not clever. Global warming due to human interference is REAL, it’s HERE, and all of us bear partial responsibility. I am not going to link to articles proving it’s true, I will not provide PDFs of what is happening to Greenland this summer. You don’t have to do any of the research. I’m just saying that if you want to keep reading this site, please, please just DO ONE THING.

Pick any one thing from the following list:

1. Replace at least four bulbs in your house with the new compact fluorescent bulbs. You can get them almost anywhere, but here is an excellent place. The new ones are warm and yellow, not the old bright white ones of the past. Replacing just four bulbs can cost as low as twelve bucks and stops 1,200 pounds of carbon from going into the atmosphere.

2. Zero-carbon your car. For $29.92, you can go to and negate your car’s impact on the Earth. You can choose to do much more, but negating an average American car stops 12,000 pounds of CO2.

3. Offset your travel. Just go to the Native Energy site and calculate your total travel/vacation time, and it’ll tell you how much to offset. For around $25 (average) you can keep your 1.7 tons of recreational CO2 out of the atmosphere and have tons of fun playing craps in Vegas.

4. Switch your local power provider to a green solution. This is so easy it’s amazing. Just call your local power company and ask for what “green” solutions they offer. Most will tell you right off the bat, and it’s barely more expensive. If you’re having trouble finding what’s available in your area, just go here.

5. Plant one tree. Absorbs one ton of CO2. Self-explanatory.

That’s it, lurkers and readers. You have two weeks to do any of the above; that’s the only thing I ask of you in these almost five years of uninterrupted joy. If there is something else you’re about to do that is on par with the above, please share in the comments section.

I will not tolerate discussion about whether or not global warming is happening, or if humans are causing it. I’ve already given plenty of space on other entries for those opinions, and I’m done. And in advance, I apologize for sounding like an asshole, or someone who knows better than you, or that I have some kind of purchase on the future that others do not.

In my heart, this is the greatest threat we have ever faced, it’s happening in our lifetime, right now, and if I had this public forum and did nothing, then I will truly have been a worthless sack of shit. If you choose to keep reading this site, there will be an unspoken pact between you, personally, and me, that you did something listed above. From all I have gleaned over the years, you are all an amazing group of people, and I thank you for the indulgence.