deep tissue message


Remember how psychoanalysis works? It was first developed by Freud as a “talking cure,” where (in the simplest terms) patients talked about all of their deepest fears and taboos, and by airing them, their neuroses disappeared. In other words, nature wants to fix those things that are out in the open. Left to fester, unaired, untreated, most problems get worse.

And so, to borrow a page from all the great analysts, it’s time to Air Your Major Body Pain Complaints! That’s right, by merely mentioning the one thing that hurts on your body right here on the Web for all to see, it will gradually stop hurting.

My left knee is killing me. It’s a “torn meniscus” or maybe “nothing all that drastic” but every time I chase the basketball down, I tweak it and I want to frickin’ KILL myself from the pain. I use a brace and all, but it only partially helps.

Also, my lower back on the left side, one particular muscle has been in chronic pain for six years. I’m really sick of it, and though Stopain Spray┬« works unbelievably well, I’m tired of smelling vaguely of menthol.

So those are two for me. I’ve aired my complaints. Let the healing begin!

Your turn.

0 thoughts on “deep tissue message

  1. CP

    my whole life I’m prone to itchy rashes, severe stomach aches, and nasty allergic reactions. (shellfish, cats, pollen — btw, today in LA my allergies were out of control. sneezing every 2 minutes.)
    every september and march I get a cold. worse when I lived back east, but still happens.
    my eyesight is terrible and getting worse, not sure if that counts.
    other than that, I feel great.

  2. ken

    I have wicked allergies. No drug or food allergies but literally everything else, so no matter the time of the year, I’m miserable.
    Other than that, I’m largely a healthy guy.

  3. Beth

    I’m very grateful for my health, but my teeth *suck.* I’ve had many more root canals than a person of 36 should have (unlucky genes: my parents have endured even more dental woes). I’m heading off today to hopefully have something fixed that has the endodontist stumped. The only concrete help I can provide him is that every time I put food or drink in my mouth, I wind up gasping in pain. Takes a lot of the fun out of eating.

  4. DFB's&T's

    Ian: If it is a torn meniscus, that is nothing. I had my right knee meniscus fixed and was back on the tennis court in about 6 weeks at full strength.
    But, when I tore my ACL, that is more like 10 months and the surgery and PT were painfully hellish.

  5. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Oh dear. What a topic! Beth — my complaint involves teeth too. When I was pregnant, part of my back molar broke off while I was eating a bagel. I suppose the baby was taking all of my calcium. Anyway, I endured a broken molar during my pregnancy, and when daughter was born and I could finally get the tooth fixed, I needed a root canal and a crown. 7 years later, I still think there is something wrong with the crown, but the dentist sees nothing wrong. My teeth are super sensitive (I suppose from all the HOT coffee and COLD soda I imbibe to stay awake at the Insurance Job), and I try to keep food away from my back molar.
    Also, I notice that when I wake up, my feet hurt when I stand and start to walk. So much so that I start my day limping and shuffling down the stairs like a 100 year old woman. WTF? The only thing I can think of is that I am overweight — about 20 lbs. more than I should be — but is that enough to render me unable to walk? UGH!

  6. alan

    I feel like crap this morning, so this should be easy. Let’s start with my back pain which is a new one for me. Then there’s the nagging rotator cuff problem from weightlifting. And last but certainly not least, my migraines. Actually, just get rid of the migraines and I’ll gladly endure all of the rest and then some.
    Hmmmm, not sure if that made me feel better or worse. I’m getting old. Maybe we can fix that too… sigh.

  7. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    I am going to post my husband’s woes, because I hear about them every day, and if there is some truth to the idea that we can heal ourselves, Tim needs our help.
    Tim plays on a soccer league, a softball league, and a basketball league SIMULTANEOUSLY. He has been complaining about some kind of pain in his forearm — his self-diagnosis is some kind of tennis elbow (although he does not play tennis). My diagnosis is that he PLAYS TOO MANY SPORTS and he is 40 YEARS OLD. He goes to the doctor today. Wish him luck!
    Oh, and he used to run 10 miles a day, but he has big IT band (did I get that right?) issues, so he can’t run anymore. Hence, all the other sports.
    Oh, and our beagle has trouble with his back legs. I have to pick him up and carry him up the stairs, place him on the couch, etc. Let’s heal him too!

  8. The Other Lee

    I feel your pain.
    I dislocated my patella (i.e. my kneecap popped out and went to the wrongside of my leg) playing basketball about 10 years ago tearing the ACL and MCL and it hasn’t been right since. Of course that didn’t stop me from continually playing basketball. What did stop me from playing was when I threw my back out last fall, went to one of the best back doctor in town and immediately upon looking at my X-ray he says “So I take it you play basketball a lot” and then proceeds to tell me I have a severely herniated disk. Eventually I had to have surgery to fix that and every morning I wake up with a stiff sore back. No more basketball for me, unless I am pulling for the Heels!

  9. Anne

    Wahhh wahhh wahhh! I wanna cry about the bursitis in both my hips. It’s actually not too bad during the day, but the minute I lie down in bed, it goes into overdrive. I have to take two Aleve every night to even have a chance of falling asleep.
    There’s lots more (hey, I’m a former hockey player in my mid 50s; just you wait, all you young active people) but I’ll save them for another whine.

  10. Ann

    But I am a bundle of anxieties. I really hate flying. Especially when you are flying into the East Coast and there are thunderstorms predicted. I’m not sure talking about it anymore will help.

  11. salems wife

    My neck ALWAYS hurts. I can’t turn it all the way to look around for cars when I’m driving. I have to turn my whole body. My children love to pick on me about it. Also hurts when I sleep. Can’t ever get comfy in bed. Only 36 now, what will I be like in my 70’s. GEEZ!

  12. Claudia

    I’ve had so many teeth pulled that I don’t remember the exact number, but it’s in the double digits.
    My ears require SLIGHTLY less maintenance than a show horse to keep them feeling normal.
    I’m saving the rest of my litany of complaints for my book, as I don’t want to overwhelm your comments section. I’ll bet your readers can hardly wait!

  13. NOLAcathie

    As a 57-year-old I feel lucky not to have chronic pain, just occasional achy knees or wrists, even after caring for
    1-year-old granddaughter Lucy all day, 5 days a week!
    However, I’m ALWAYS trying to lose weight.
    I don’t know if there is any reason for this, but the less carbs I eat, the better I feel…any pain seems to disappear.

  14. kjf

    my left shoulder is killing me. and every night i line up my pillows so i dont sleep on it. and when i wake up i am on my left side. ouch.

  15. kent

    I have a bunch of little spots of poison ivy from hunting blackberries.
    My biggest physical complaint is tinnitus from too many loud shows. I have worn earplugs for the past couple years, but the previous 250 shows did their damage, not to mention years working with a constant 65dB computer whine and whoosh. I can still hear pretty well, but sometimes if I’m someplace quiet, my ears seem filled with high pitched sine waves.

  16. michelle

    My right shoulder is super tight. I’m somewhat limited in yoga because while my left shoulder feels like a million bucks, I can’t sustain things like a forearm balance because my right shoulder- just inside the shoulder blade- screams. It’s weird. Also, my lower back. Rarely is it happy. And my right wrist, from a years-old yoga injury. (Boy, was THAT stupid.)
    Also, I LOATHE my belly. Chubby is one thing, but when the hell did I get a belly? Christ.
    I do, however, have terribly cute feet. Hopefully that’s all anyone notices.

  17. oliver

    Patellar subluxation perhaps? Common as mud acc. to my GP, who showed me an exercise to strengthen/tighten my inner quadricep, which is supposed help keep the knee-cap on track. Seems to have helped me at least a little. Plus you lie on the floor for the exercise, so you could play with Lucy at the same time.

  18. salem's little sister

    My first complaint is that I’ve been dizzy for almost 4 years now. It’s constant, unwaivering and undeterred by medicine. I even had brain surgery to fix it, but it didn’t make a difference. The dizziness is very psychadelic, but I grew out of the mushroom stage a long time ago and this trip is getting old! Any my profession is riding and training horses where balance is key.
    The horses lead me to my physical pain which is my entire back and butt. Neuromuscular message has helped, along with my chiropractor. I also have a bulging disc up high. The only thing to really fix me is to stop riding, but I’d loose my mind, so I’ll deal with the pain. As I’m sure some of you who love your sport know, I don’t feel any pain when I’m riding. It’s the after that gets me.
    LFMD- My sweet beagle has hind end trouble too. After a hard day of playing, I have to carry her up the stairs. The vet says it isn’t arthritis and we should x-ray her back. I give her 1 oz. of Acti-Flex(horse joint med.) a day and it helps as much as Rymidil(sp) did. I won’t do that med again because she developed a huge tumor 1 month after starting it.

  19. Beth

    Okay–would you believe my mouth required not one but two root canals? My teeth are apparently filled with tiny stress fractures because I clench them at night, thereby necessitating a lecture from the endodontist on how I need to decrease my stress. Not to mention a better night guard.
    But it actually makes me feel better to read everybody else’s laments. Misery, company, etc. Hope you all feel better (magic wand waving).

  20. Ian

    I’m sorry, but this may be my favorite comments section ever. It’s amazing how soothing it is to hear everyone’s pain – it’s like the Swiss climbers who touch each other on the tailbone to allow for an award-winning burst of energy (try it with your significant other on a staircase sometime).
    Elizabeth Suber, I had the same neck thing where I couldn’t check the blind spot while driving. It went away after six months, but it was a TERRIBLE six months.
    I also do the pillow thing, and Tessa gives me a lot of guff.
    I’m amazed at the other things I’ve had on this list, but got better. Keep ’em comin!

  21. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    Ian, this is one of my favorites too. From the moment I read about CP’s itchy rashes, I was hooked! Although, we all sound very decrepit. We are all a little too young to be this decrepit.
    Beth — now I am freaking out that I might need my mouth looked at. I haven’t really been able to chew without pain for 2 months. Two root canals? I am so sorry . . .
    SLS — brain surgery! Oh my! I did not know that you had a beagle. Aren’t they just the sweetest little dogs? I would do anything for my little beagle. . . and I guess that I do, with all the carrying and vet bills and all. A year ago, we all went on a family hike in the Catoctin Mountains. We had a wonderful time! My beagle was in hound heaven. The next day, he was crying and couldn’t move his tail. I was so upset, thinking that the Mountain Death Hike caused him to break his tail. He was OK, after much $$ spent at the vet.

  22. unc alum

    My teeth hurt due to a dentist visit this morning. Between all the poking, prodding and enthusiastic flossing I won’t be able to bite comfortably for a week! This was just a routine visit…I can’t imagine what it would feel like if there was actually something to fix.

  23. Laurie from Manly Dorm

    This does not exactly qualify as a current body pain complaint, but here goes. On the day my daughter was born, the pain that I experienced from the birth process and the (maiming) episiotomy was so intense that I cried nonstop for about 12 of the full 21 hours of labor. There were not enough epidurals in the world to make me feel better. I cried and cried so hard that I popped blood vessels in my eyes and cracked two ribs. I literally begged for a c-section, to no avail. I will never forget what the delivery room looked like once Helen was born. . . blood and stuff everywhere. . . catheter sticking out of my urethra, bloody IV tubes stuck in my arm. . . the placenta thrown on a table. It looked like a murder scene. It was the most painful experience of my life.
    Then, to add insult to injury, two hours later, the doctor came into the room to tell me that he thought he left “something” inside of me. He proceeded to reach into my shredded, bleeding vagina and pulled out two yellow sponges. No, really.
    When other women tell me that the joy they feel with their babies make them “forget” the pain during childbirth. . . I just don’t get it. I love my daughter more than anything, and I would do it all again for her, but I felt totally blindsided. They should put THAT in the What to Expect books!

  24. Salem

    Hmmm… Aside from a little indoor allergy thing that leaves me waking up with what feels like a hangover, I don’t have any aches or pains as a result of age or faulty equipment. I do, however, cut, tear, and burn my flesh on a regular basis while cooking at the restaurant and catering. I don’t think I am truly tuned in to my day until I sear a little flesh. It is the unfortunate consequence of my terminal over-confidence. My mind simply believes that the muscles and tendons should keep up with the synapses calling the shots.

  25. Suzie

    Ha ha ha! I haven’t read all the comments because…
    I had a baby Saturday! So I just had to add my two cents because not only are The Bits Down South rather battered, I now get to hourly enjoy the searing nipple pain of newborn latch-on. Please oh please god make it better…

  26. kjf

    these comments remind me of something my dad used to say at the dinner table from time to time. when one or more of us was moping or being annoying he would say “lets play the complain game” and we would all go around the table and complain about something and we would keep going until the whole family would just start laughing. it was really therapeutic. as is this. but my shoulder still hurts.

  27. Rebecca

    Suzie: Congratulations! My goodness he is a beauty! The latch-on pain will subside eventually. Or you get used to it. I can’t remember. I nursed 3 children for a total of 48 months and I know it’s one of the greatest gifts I have given them.
    On to the pain game! I must confess that I just had my chronic pain problem fixed. After 3 pregnancies, I had a varicose vein in my left leg that hurt most of the time. Sometimes searing pain, sometimes dull, but always somewhat uncomfortable. So I went to a vascular surgeon and he fixed me. Technically it was called laser oblation (I’m sot sure if I’m spelling that correctly). They ran a catheter-like thing up into the vein and seared it closed from the inside. That was 2 weeks ago, and I think I am cured. Hooray! Now I have no excuse for not exercising, so I better get my butt moving.

  28. rebeccalowman

    okay. well, my mom sells some cream called “miracle cream” and it really is a miracle. feel free to call her and rub it on anything that ales you. call ila @ 217 546 2334. but, that’s really my 76 year old mother’s phone number. so… use it judiciously.

  29. salem's little sister

    Suzie, When the baby is done, leave a little milk on your nipple and let it air dry. I found doing that worked better than any OTC remedy. Congratulations!

  30. LFMD

    Congratulations Suzie! Um, remember that gory stuff I wrote about my torn-up postnatal body? Forget about it! I am really just a sissy! Ha!
    Enjoy your sweet little baby!

  31. kate from the DTH front desk

    Wow LFMD. Just… wow. I’m so glad that I decided to read these comments as soon as I got home from dinner. Looks like I won’t be having kids!

  32. LFMD

    Young Kate from the DTH desk. . . never mind me. I should not have written all that on Ian’s blog anyway. As often is the case when I read Ian’s blog, I was all caught up in the moment!
    I am sure that if you decide to have a baby, it will be a breeze! My only complaint with the whole childbirth fantasy is that not one single book or childbirth class even hinted at the extent of the misery I would be headed for. I felt like a lamb to the slaughter when it was all over. Frankly, I was truly scared during most of the delivery. I suppose I was meant to be a 1940’s mom, when the doctors just put you under anesthesia, and when you awoke, you had a baby and a martini waiting for you!

  33. CL

    LFMD, I love beagles. Had one for 14 years (until she got cancer, as dogs usually do in the end.) They are smart, loyal, and waggy. If you click my initials you can even look at a pic. (there’s lipstick on her cheek because my mom had just kissed her.)

  34. kate from the DTH front desk

    Oh LFMD, my mom says the same things about childbirth and the lack of a “warning” she had when my brother came along! My sister and I are twins and were born a few years after my brother, so she knew what she was in for, but didn’t really stop to think that it would be exponentially worse with two babies!!! I don’t think she would ever describe labor as a magical experience or suggest that the “joy” of the situation made her forget the pain!!!

  35. Steph Mineart

    My sternum hurts from my open heart surgery last year, but that’s an constant thing, so I don’t mind it so much any more.
    Right now I have a lung infection that hurts when I breath, that I wish would go the heck away.

  36. kevin from NC

    Anne, on your hip issue, i one had the same problem.. i am a side sleeper. I now sleep with a pillow between my knees. It stopped getting worse but did not get better. I then used a king size pillow that also supported my feet as well. Hip pain went bye bye in about 4 weeks. Maybe it could work for you.

  37. kevin from NC

    Hi Ian,
    So. I complained about my knee earlier. lee introduced me to a massage therapist that i have been seeing with great results. The therapist has been experimenting with the technique called Rossiter techniques. After ONE massage, i can now squat down with no pain whatsoever.
    So, do I thank this blog for making me go public and then also for the solution that seemingly came out of nowhere?
    I posted this today, but the treatment was on July 12. I am healed i tell ya!!!


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