This is Set-The-Record-Straight Monday®, and I’d like to begin with the grotesquely botched case against the Dook lacrosse players. Now, if some of you don’t know, I have not always been a fan of that school in Durham. I admit a long, lengthy bias, probably due to deep-set psychological wounds from childhood, then crystallizing in my experiences with the school from 1985 onwards.
There is also a certain genre of lacrosse players from the northern climes of the United States who take a certain meathead solace in their racism, their sexism, and their skill at beating the shit out of each other with a stick. Mixing Dook and lacrosse together was like Pop Rocks and Coke, as far as I was concerned. If that mixture didn’t kill Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials, my feeling is that a drunk-driving lacrosse player from Bernardsville, NJ probably would.
When the story came out, I wrote a li’l blog in which I said “I’ve held off talking about the Duke Lacrosse Scandal for a while, because blogs are always the ‘zero draft’ of history, and you can look pretty foolish if you blather and end up being wrong.” Well, it turns out we have most likely been utterly wrong on this one.
Don’t get me wrong: I believe worse things than this happen in elite sports programs every day, and judging from my friends who currently live across the street from a Dook fraternity, a lot of these guys need a month of sensitivity training and a primer on civil rights. But this was a big fuck-up, and I can mea some culpa and say that I was truly predisposed to believe the worst. And there’s a word for that kind of behavior.
Speaking of fuck-ups, many of you have forwarded to me the retraction of the Consumer Reports study on the safety of infant car seats. So it looks like my impassioned, overwritten, hyper-emotional screed from last week was also a waste of your time. For this, I must mea more culpa.
Turns out the tests were done not at speeds of 30-40mph as reported, but more like 74mph. I’d still like an infant car seat that doesn’t throw your kid 30 feet even at 90 miles per hour, but pending a retest, I’d say we can all go about our business. Apparently Consumer Reports outsourced the test to some other company. Lesson to learn: do everything yourself, because other people are totally incompetent.
Here at xtcian.com we’ve prided ourselves in rants and self-righteous diatribes about a myriad of subjects before the facts were in. We’re proud of our spotty batting average, and hope you keep returning for more vaguely-misinformed sermons on subjects theoretical. See you soon for more histrionic geysers of unmitigated crap!*
* except for global warming, which really is happening