lookin’ down on creation

3/27/07

Boy, am I a shrill bastard on this Global Warming thing, or what? You’d think I’d just shut up and get back to writing heartwarming television, but this exchange has made me so furious that I simply MUST take issue. Yes, the link takes you to Salon, where you have to watch an ad for ten seconds, or you could just subscribe, because they’re excellent.

Anyway, Al Gore went to the Senate last week to testify on what he calls “a planetary emergency.” I recommend reading the transcript for the sake of theater: he is constantly badgered by Known Idiot™ Senator James Inhofe, the moronic Republican from Oklahoma, whose ass is roundly kicked in turn by committee chair Sen. Barbara Boxer.

At one point, Boxer has heard enough, and tells Stupid Fuckwit James Inhofe, “You’re not making the rules. You used to when you did this. You don’t do this anymore. Elections have consequences, so I make the rules.” Applause erupted, at which point I finally decided to buy an American flag and shed a patriotic tear for my country again.

But it goes on, and you simply must read what half-wit Inhofe said in rebuttal to Gore’s science. First, he thick-wristedly tried to change the subject by bringing up Al Gore’s own household consumption, a favorite trick of conservative goons who have truly run out of things to say. Then he showed a picture of Buffalo’s snowstorm this winter, hinting that global warming can’t be happening if Buffalo is going to get this much snow.

Then he used an ancient argument tactic that is typically abandoned by every Debate Squad north of 8th grade: “Now, it seems that everything is blamed on global warming,” he bloviated, “Last summer we had a heat wave, and everyone said, ‘Oh, that’s proof. It’s global warming’.”

Then, his stunning reversal… some towns had record cold temperatures a few weeks ago! Finally, his masterful conclusion: “Where’s global warming when you need it?”

I’m sorry, but this yokel needs to have a basic math textbook nailgunned to his butter churn. He’s so stupid he’s dangerous.

Nobody ever said Katrina was the result of global warming. AT BEST, they said storms of Katrina’s destructive power will become more commonplace. No meteorologist or climatologist worth your respect has ever looked at a month-long period of above-average temps – say, December 2006 – and said, “well, it was because of global warming.” Inhofe is relying on some of the most disingenuous and gormless strawmen he can pitch together with lies and baling wire.

I may disagree with commenter Matt on issues of climate change, and I may find his sources to be biased, agenda-filled and contrary, but at least he comes at it speaking the language of science, and provides links and his own channels of research, and thus I’ve always respected him a lot. But for Inhofe to show the American Senate a picture of Buffalo one day in January as evidence that global warming is bunk… I mean, come ON, people, this guy is a SENATOR! HE ACTUALLY MAKES LAWS!

To paraphrase Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) in the first “Superman” movie, I’m amazed James Inhofe has enough intellect to keep his legs moving in order to walk. He’s the kind of guy that would say, “The earth is flat. You know how I know? LOOK AROUND YOU.” He would then present a picture of Buffalo, NY and say “Do you see the Earth curving in this picture? Neither do I.”

0 thoughts on “lookin’ down on creation

  1. kevin from NC

    I think I read that the great lakes are warmer now than they have been in the past and that additional warmth causes more evaporation and even greater ‘lake effect’ snows.

    Reply
  2. ls

    Yes to above. Global warming doesn’t mean there will be no more snow, but that weather will become more extreme as a result of loss of ice caps, etc. Something people don’t seem to get at all.

    Reply
  3. Former Claverack Weekender

    I think that last statement deserves to be immortalized on some t-shirts– ‘Where is global warming when you need it?’

    Reply
  4. oliver

    God, I wish you hadn’t pointed me to that transcript. My heart is racing and my head is pounding. And all so decorous. It’s like a bad animatronic Wansee conference. I see why Osama bin Laden shuns politics.

    Reply

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