babies and bathwater


The Worst Conversation My Wife and I Have Ever Had:

Ian is in the bathtub recovering from hoops. He yells to his wife in the adjoining room.

IAN: So, like, is the rap on the French preschool that it’s too frou-frou for the parents, and after a few months they can’t stand the whole “our students are little trees” thing and get tired of their kids going to Oz every day and so the parents start feeling left out?


Twenty seconds pass.

IAN: That may have been the worst conversation we’ve ever had. Actually, that may be the worst conversation we’ll ever have.

TESSA: I wouldn’t say that. Give us time.


0 thoughts on “babies and bathwater

  1. LFMD

    Based on my 13 years of marriage, if that is the worst conversation that you have ever had, you are in pretty good shape. Unless of course, the throwing of objects or profanity-laced rants were involved.

  2. Chris M

    Quelle cauchemar!
    Probably does not quite compare to the worst conversation had by Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger.

  3. Kim S.

    I’m going on ten years, and if that’s the worst conversation you two have ever had, you don’t talk enough. Our last argument was over my husband’s refusal to wear proper breeches when riding our horse – he said if he had to choose between those “sissy” pants (which look just like jeans with no inseam) and riding, he was going to quit riding. And this is an otherwise sensible and intelligent man. You still have plenty of time to discover and learn to tolerate each other’s ridiculous idiocies – and believe me, after four? years, Tessa has in no way seen all of yours yet. :)
    And my overwhelmingly wonderful husband does engage in profanity-laced rants, but they’re directed pretty exclusively toward Sunday morning talk shows discussing George Bush’s presidency. Who can blame him? Sometimes I even join in, just for the fun of it.

  4. xuxE

    here’s another one you can try!
    what does it REALLY mean to support your partner’s art and creativity – does it mean being very actively involved and the biggest fan?
    or does it mean giving your partner enough space to have the autonomy and freedom to create – yet stopping short of taking an active interest in the project?
    or does support actually mean doing both, but you need to be able to instinctively intuit which type of support is needed in each circumstance?
    be sure to defend your answer by comparing and contrasting real-life examples from the past in which your partner was not properly supportive, vs. your own efforts to be supportive, which have been omnisciently spot-on and supernaturally helpful.

  5. Beth

    Oh, CL, that cracked me up!!
    My husband and I fight a LOT about his complete inability to put the dishes in the washer, which is about two inches southeast of the sink.

  6. Ehren

    I’m guessing he means the worst conversationg in terms of being devoid of content or meaning, i.e., failing to be an adequate conversation. Not that this is the worst moment of his marriage in which he and Tessa used the english language to express what they were feeling.
    But I’m just guessing.

  7. Ian

    Ehren’s correct: worst in terms of information exchange. I’d like to think our biggest fights are actually GOOD conversations.
    And yes, I was recovering from hoops because my nephew and I played three games against a bunch of 16-year-olds at the Y and won them all!

  8. LFMD

    Still. . . . if you think that your biggest fights are good conversations, that reflects well!
    Ian and Tessa sitting in a tree
    First comes love, then comes marriage
    Then comes Lucy in the baby carriage!
    Face it — you both are cute.

  9. Sean

    PLEASE tell me that when you had this conversation, you were sitting in the tub and Tessa was ironing from a plug adapter in the bare light bulb fixture hanging from the ceiling and the room was covered in cats.
    Actually, don’t tell me. That’s how I’m gonna picture it.

  10. V.

    I think your blog is sort of pretentious while at the same time trying to be “self-consciously” unpretentious. Also, you’re sort of materialistic. I bet you can’t go a month without mentioning an object that you bought =)


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