$1.95 away from salvation


Item 1. Yes, I can be a little obsessed, especially on the Mother’s Little Helper, but I’ve been looking for this tiny electrical part for weeks now, and I can’t find it. Y’see, at our farm, we have this overhead ceiling fan with a light in it. The light is not ordinary: it is a “mini candelabra base” (E11) socket, which is even smaller than your run-of-the-mill “candelabra base” (E12) light you find in chandeliers and wall sconces.

They make incredibly bright lights for the mini-candelabra, all the way up to a blinding 500 watts, enough to give you a Cozumel tan and fry funnel cakes. However, with our ban on old-style lights (incandescent and halogen), I’m trying to find an adapter.

A simple goddamn adapter. Something that will turn a mini-candelabra base into a Plain Old candelabra base. They have an adapter for everything else on earth, including all other light bulb sockets. Shit, they have treasonous adapters that turn French light sockets into German ones. But not this motherscratcher. After plowing through the web for almost three hours, I finally found a site that had one, along with a picture:


Gleefully, I hugged my wife and jumped up and down, until I noticed this written at the top of the page:

NOTE: This part is now either discontinued with no available replacement or completely out of stock with no estimated in-stock date.

GOD DAMMIT! Can someone PUH-LEEEEZE tell me if they know anything about an E-11 to E-12 adapter before I explode in golden spasms of geek asscockery?

Item 2. I’m writing a FAQ for a semi-redesign of this site. What questions would you like answered?

Item 3. Looking at my statistics, I started getting a bunch of hits from something called Blogger’s Choice Awards. Lo and behold, the awesome Ms. Cluver had nominated me for both “Best Blog of All Time” and, hilariously, “Hottest Daddy Blogger.”

Now, I don’t need kudos of this kind to assuage my ancient demons, but my 8-year-old self does, and if you vote for me, I get to go back in a time machine and tell that weird-looking kid with the violin that he might get to be one of the Hottest Daddy ANYTHINGS if he can just make it through another thirty years of acne.

So here are the image links if you’re inclined to login and vote. Feel free to add snarky commentary while you’re there!

My site was nominated for Best Blog of All Time!

My site was nominated for Hottest Daddy Blogger!

18 thoughts on “$1.95 away from salvation

  1. cluverc

    Yes! Glad you saw it! Meant to get everyone out to vote for you much earlier. Have been skipping back over here after a long hiatus – first found you through Ingo and Jif’s wedding site! So now, people, you all think that Ian is ONE HOT DAD…get out there and make Lucy proud!

  2. xuxE

    i have an FAQ – what ever happened to the friggin pink house movie? why aren’t you using an indie distributor? why isn’t it on youtube or google videos or myspace video or [insert website]?
    by the way – looks they are monetizing youtube now, 50/50 split. more on this at http://www.marketingvox.com

  3. LFMD

    xuxE’s FAQ is a good one. I have another: could you consider some advertising, so that each time I click on your blog, you get some $$? I feel badly that you are giving away your time/insight/humor for FREE on a daily basis.

  4. xuxE

    i’m in favor of monetizing for charity, so when jb or any other goblin clicks here, money goes to some environmental action and left wing fundraising.

  5. Alan

    FAQ? How about a timeline of your sneakers, with details such as actually owned v. admired. Like one of those graphs of epochs of geological time. Any other well designed graphical representation of ultimately unimportant data would be welcome as well.

  6. Beth

    Springboarding off of xuxE’s comment, how about places where we can read/view your other work? Books, articles, links, TV, movies, etc.

  7. jje

    The orange roll recipe.
    Surely I’m not the only one who is loitering around, hoping you might divulge it one day, right?
    The sad thing is, I don’t even cook. I’m famous for having made box brownies with a full cup of Pam because I didn’t have any vegetable oil in the house. In my defense, the can did say vegetable and the brownies came out rather light and fluffy. And hey, did you even know that a can of Pam contained a full cup of oil?
    I take full responsibility for that particular hole in the ozone…

  8. xuxE

    oh, and while i’m still stuck on the youtube tip, here’s an interesting factoid:
    sales price of Dreamworks: $1.6 billion
    sales price of YouTube: $1.6 billion

  9. kent

    The Orange Roll recipe isn’t a big mystery — they’re like cinnamon rolls with orange zest instead of cinnamon. I defer to my mother to post a recipe, but I’ve her make them and nothing really gets measured, so a recipe might not help.
    If there’s a secret, it’s to use a lot of butter and sugar. They are not a diet food, they are not a low fat food. They are a once a year food, like New Orleans barbecue shrimp, which you bake submerged in butter, g.

  10. Jeffrey Lieber

    So, if I comment here… will you actually read it.
    Just voted for you on the best blog thing, but felt a little gay hitting the “hottest daddy blog” button.
    Not that I’m not fine with gay, but I felt it so…


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