Guest Blogger Wednesday™!
Hey gang. CP here from the comments section, guest-blogging for Ian from the decrepit yet fabulous Sunset & Vine, smack in the middle of burning Hollywood.
First things first. The blind, abused, timid and terrified puppy at the south LA pound I’d been uncharacteristically telling everyone I know about in an effort to prevent him getting the chair (so to speak) was rescued today and here’s wishing he lives a long and happy life at his new home. So that’s awesome.
In related news, Paris Hilton had someone ghostwrite a letter on her behalf, a petition or something to Governor Schwarzenegger asking for her upcoming 45-day jail sentence to be commuted and she to be granted clemency. Now I’m well aware of the fact that an 80’s action star is our governor and all, but do we not think that:
a) a little jail time might be really, really good for both her and society (sort of like The Simple Life meets OZ, only with lesbians and no cameras)
b) the only difference between her and those women on the MSNBC Inside Women’s Prison shows is who her parents are (I mean shit, on a certain level an argument can be made that they’re both on TV for no apparent reason other than to entertain us/make us feel better about our lives)
c) she not only deserves to be treated no differently than anyone else, but perhaps also made an example of instead of sentenced to rehab or community service or some other such bullshit (I’m serious about this, an interesting ethical dilemma…)
d) in lieu of prison, she should be sentenced to star in a reality show in which she’d be shrunk to approximately 3 feet and put in a cage at The Bronx Zoo with Little Dick Cheney and Little Bill Maher (think The Surreal Life meets Freaks meets No Exit — if it’s a hit, other combinations could include Barry Bonds, Ann Coulter and Aaron Sorkin, and of course me and the cast of Mean Girls — for the record, I’m short enough and they’re perfectly proportioned, so no shrinking necessary on that one.)
Ok. Wow. That got weird in parts, huh? Got away from me a little bit. Sorry ’bout that.
— When I was a kid, I used to have recurring elevator nightmares. Specifically I’d be in the elevator of my building, would press our floor, and when it reached that floor it wouldn’t stop, would just keep going up to 16 and then back down to the basement again. And up again and down again and so on and so forth.
These dreams used to terrify me to the point that I’d wake up in a cold sweat. In some of them, the elevator would eventually fall. In others, it would crash through the roof of the building. I’d also usually wake up when either thing happened. I mention this because after years of not having them, like since I started college, I had one the other night.
Only this was different. (Elevator Nightmare v2.0) I was in Tokyo, Japan. In a glass elevator overlooking the city. And there were other passengers with me, all Japanese locals, none of whom spoke a word of English. I push my floor, the elevator starts, and when it reaches my floor, doesn’t stop. It’s at this point in the dream the other passengers disappear and I realize I’m in the middle of having my nightmare. And the elevator keeps going up and down and up and down and to my surprise and relief I find I’m oddly comfortable with the fact that after all these years, I know what’s gonna happen and I’ll be fine.
(Does anyone know what the hell, no pun intended, that might mean?)
— So things aren’t great. Not for me personally, which (nightmares aside) is pretty damn good and (knock wood) kind of keeps getting better, but the world is going to shit and even with the midterm wins and probability of a Dem. White House in ’08, things aren’t necessarily looking up. It’s a little like the mid-70’s let’s say.
Back then (as in times like The Depression, 50’s post-war Europe, Ancient Greece), it seems like the worse things got, the better and more subversive the art and entertainment became. Specifically, the comedies of the late 70’s/early 80’s (everything from Network to Kentucky Fried Movie to Animal House to Trading Places) were very political and edgy and rebellious, while at the same time being not only completely mainstream, but first and foremost fucking funny.
Today, our American film comedies fall into 3 camps:
1) the high-concept frat-pack movie (Wedding Crashers, Dodgeball, Blades Of Glory — which I hear was a little subversive on the gay tip — rock on.) I used to hear about these in meetings last year.
2) the quirky family comedy (thanks, Little Miss Sunshine) I hear about in meetings this year, films which may include homosexuality and drugs but really have the same simplistic and saccharine message as Leave It To Beaver or The Brady Bunch.
3) the stylized satire (American Dreamz, Thank You For Smoking) which makes fun of a broad range of targets and issues but doesn’t really take aim in a dangerous or meaningful way (like Arrested Development and Chappelle’s Show did so well. TV’s amazing now, but that’s a whole other story).
I’m not saying today’s movies are bad or all comedies should be political and people shouldn’t be able to laugh in comfort and not be reminded of their and/or the world’s problems. I am saying that it’s interesting the comedy hasn’t turned rebellious or subversive on a greater scale as of yet, and that perhaps technology might be the cause.
Specifically, our toys are amazing now. Video games, the internet, our cool little i-gadgets. Like when we were children, these things distract us and make us happy. (And come on, for serious now, the fuck did they have in The 70’s, Pong?)
Anyway, I should really shut the fuck up and stop complaining and do something about it because I’m actually in a position to (meaning in the mix, repped, but hungry and have only had a few relatively minor successes), I know. All I can say is I’m working on it. There is always that idea about the left-wing stooge blogger and the creepy internet stalker…
Ok. That’s all I got. For the record, blogging is hard. If you people have read this far and/or I haven’t bored you to the point of tears, you deserve a medal (or at least a cheap-ass bowling trophy.) Thank you so much to Ian for letting me guest blog and comment and generally being someone I can admire (awww.) And thanks to you all for being a community I actually feel I kind of know, albeit on a level I’m not entirely used to or necessarily understand, but can accept and enjoy nonetheless. From the most sincere place I’m capable of coming from, good things to all of you.