By now, most of you have seen the video of Florida student Andrew Meyer getting tasered at the John Kerry speech, either filtered or unfiltered depending on your preferred method of consumption. One could argue that if you look like a flailing-armed moron who might possibly bum-rush the stage and attack a sitting member of the Senate, you’re going to get what’s coming to you, but the actual act of one person tasering another is indescribably sickening.
The bigger point is this: could there be anyone with more of a tin ear than John Kerry? There’s no way he didn’t know what was going on, what with the student yelling “don’t tase me, bro!” Senator or no, that’s time to jump off stage, wade through the crowd and see what the fuck the police are doing to this kid. At the very least, you get on the motherscratchin’ mike and lay down the law, rather than continue droning on as if you’re announcing pre-boarding for Delta’s flight to Cleveland.
It’s easy to be a Johnny-Come-Monday-Morning-Quarterback, but I like to think I came by my frustration with Kerry honestly and early (well before he was the Democratic nominee – like this unhinged entry from 2003). When he became the front-runner, my heart sank, and when he got the nomination, deep down I knew we were fucked. I put on a brave face, mostly because Tessa told me to, but it was the most important election in modern American history, and GOD KNOWS WE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER.
Don’t get me wrong. I would have voted for J.J. Redick over George W. Bush every day of the week, and Kerry would have done a overwhelmingly more noble job as President than the cruel, smirking monkey we’ve got right now. But Kerry seems to have sacrificed a bizarre portion of his humanity at the altar of politics.
It’s as if he is so tempered by expectation, so bizarrely addicted to remaining vaguely inoffensive, so hobbled by years of saying oddly-meaningless words in order to stay elected, that he comes across as six-foot-four of tanned goo. Mike Dukakis looked silly in a tank because he’d never been in one before, but Kerry managed to look like a panderer while windsurfing – something he’d done for decades.
only a matter of time before this shirt exists
The other players? God knows they were out of their league on this one, but the Kampus Kops of Florida sure looked psyched to test the taser gun on a writhing student pinned to the floor. I admit a bias here… any of you ever had a run-in with a campus cop? I have, about 15-20 times during my extended sojourn in Chapel Hill, and I always felt like they were some of the worst people in the South.
Every single UNC cop I ever met reminded me of Chet from “Weird Science” – too stupid to be logical, but just smart enough to be really goddamn mean. In the beginning, they were annoying-yet-harmless custodians of Carolina’s brick pathways, but when I was a junior, they were granted the same powers as normal city cops, which, in my genuflected opinion, was a promotion none of them deserved.
Maybe times have changed since the batshit days of the early ’90s, but an evening consisting of campus cops with cattle prods, a conspiracy-minded undergrad with an inhibition disorder, and John Kerry? That’s got “YouTube Smash Hit” written all over it!