and cheese that sticks to the top of the box


Things America Hates:

10. other people’s kids

9. DVD and CD plastic packaging

8. really queeny gays

7. people in America who don’t speak English

6. drivers turning left

5. overweight women

4. magazine selection at doctor’s office

3. paying for music

2. movie stars telling them how to vote

1. people who are “gettin’ away with it”


0 thoughts on “and cheese that sticks to the top of the box

  1. ken

    Do I have to turn in my liberal card if I say I don’t think it’s asking too much for people to speak English in America? I’m not going to get all Lou Dobbs here (not a fan of his) but if you plan on living in this country, I think it’s the least you can do. Is that wrong?
    I’m not a xenophobe by any stretch (I love travel) but I just think it is common courtesy to speak the language of whatever country you choose to call home. If that means you have to learn a new language, so be it. Hell, if I even *visit* a non-English speaking country I at least learn key phrases or sentences that will get me through.

  2. Anne

    I’ll continue your list (most of which I totally agree with) but in reverse order.
    11. Grown men who cry.
    12. Bicyclists on heavily traveled roads.
    13. The French.
    14. Paying full price.
    15. Giving up individual “liberties” (quotes intentional) for the greater good. Cf. the wealthy Martha’s Vineyard and Cape Cod vacation home owners who oppose a much-needed wind farm offshore; don’t want their expensive views ruined by energy-generating windmills.
    16. Turning off cell phones in restaurants.
    17. Choosing not to answer cell phones *anywhere*. (see number 15 above)
    18. Hillary Clinton.
    19. Atheists.
    20. Public transportation.

  3. Jason Savage

    #2 from the list is something i hate more and more. stay in your lane, Sean Penn. stick to making great movies.

  4. Lola

    Well this is a difference list of ten things than I expected. Where is that list of 10 things for people with kids or real estate. Anyway, as a Canadian here are a few things we hate up here:
    1. Bad coffee
    2. Poor retail service
    3. People who drive SUVs (said as a city dweller–maybe you need one in northern Saskatchewan in the winter)
    4. People hate gays
    5. People who are too successful. You know, they did it on their own.
    6. High taxes
    7. Pedestrians (who do they think they are walking out into the crosswalk without looking both ways)

  5. Killian

    wow–am I missing something here? things AMERICANS hate or things we personally hate? Ian, is that YOUR list, or a list you have derived from the way these 10 things are treated by the media, etc. maybe i need more coffee; I am HOPING that you are saying that America is (ugly, hateful, wrong) in its hatred of overweight women, not that you personally hate overweight women, because Lord knows they get enough hatin’ as it is. . .

  6. tregen

    Things “Americans” hate?
    1. anyone with non-white skin (especially if they don’t speak English)
    2. anyone who speaks more than one language (English)
    3. Islam
    4. ugly (not big, perfect and shiny) fruit/produce
    5. Burqa
    6. Free healthcare for children (or for anyone else)
    7. four cylinder engines
    8. water-free, natural yards
    9. walking
    10. recycling
    Had to add a few more.
    11. Sissies
    12. Strong women
    13. soccer.

  7. connor beach

    great question, killian. for me the two lists are one and the same! I must be American cuz I abhor Hillary, movies (and actors) w/ a “message”, soccer, high taxes, ugly fruit, and jaywalkers. oh yeah, and the drive-thru at Popeye’s. It’s so slow!

  8. josie

    I, for one, love:
    8. really queeny gays
    7. people in America who don’t speak English.
    But I hate, or at least really loathe:
    1. Any location without sidewalks
    2. Suburban arterials
    3. The way developers mow down all living things when building new housing developments. What’s a neighborhood without mature trees? and
    4. People who gossip
    5. xenophobes

  9. Greg T.

    Defense Contractors – evidently we’re all money-grubbing scum that are trying screw the American people so we can buy elections.
    Air America

  10. cullen

    Caveman is brilliant and always thinking what I’m thinking…toys with batteries–man, I’ve got a lot to work on. In Ian’s theme, myriad “America” is such a gigantic generalization; I don’t think I can close the open end. “THE’Merica” (short for T.he H.ated America), tho’ definitely, in general, hates them there folks who’s ‘gettin’ away with it’, whatever it is. So if anybody’s got some of it, especially if ‘it’ is sum thing good, then spread IT around.
    Some list. Love ya’ll. Turkey coming.

  11. xuxE

    10. getting involved with the community
    9. math
    8. learning foreign languages
    7. any aesthetic not endorsed by celebrities
    6. nature, unless it is part of a cruise ship view, tourist attraction, or theme park
    5. healthy food
    4. cellulite
    3. saving up money for a rainy day
    2. old age
    1. lack of stimulation, except when they are sleeping

  12. Rebecca

    I try not to be a hater, and really none of the things on your list get me really upset. My hates are:
    1. Dealing with health insurance companies. Why do they just randomly choose to not cover a doctors visit? Do they think I won’t notice, and will just pay the bill?
    2. Dealing with physician billing offices. I’ve paid, and now they’ve billed me again. Stop billing me! We’re done!
    3. General stupidity in employees. My gym is billing my neighbor on my account (we signed up at the same time). She has her own account, and is getting billed. The employee at the desk today think she owes me, but the gym owes me. I cannot wait to talk to the manager tomorrow. The fact that the employee couldn’t understand the problem is frightening.
    4. Computer problems. I’m smart, my husband is a genius, why can’t we figure it out?
    5. Hunger in America. The land of the most obese people on earth (see Ian’s #5) has people who go to bed hungry every night. There are children who barely eat over the weekend, when they’re not getting their 2 free meals a day at school. It’s shameful.
    6. Gas and brake drivers. I coast to red lights, and it clearly pisses off a lot of people. Take your foot off the gas pedal, get off my ass and try to save a little gas!
    7. The fact that Ian is sleeping on Sean’s floor, and yet has not posted pictures of Lucy and Barnaby. There is no excuse for that! Fish photos…

  13. Rebecca

    PS – I think I mentioned my computer died a few weeks ago. We had to send off the hard drive to try to get everything off of it, especially 3 years worth of photos. The good news is that our info was recovered, and we got back 6 disks with all of our files and photos. The bad news is that it cost $1599. OUCH!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.