Hi, it’s Complaint Monday!!! That’s right, before the tyranny of Thanksgiving takes over and we start the holiday glow of tremendous well-being, let’s take a much-deserved day to list all the things that are pissing us off! Better get ’em off your chest now, before it’s too late – nobody likes a whiner during the Holidays™.

I’ll start:

Actually, things are going pretty well, despite my entire work force being on strike. But I’ll complain about this… they yanked out one of my teeth (my right maxillary first molar, or #3, for your dentist lurkers in the audience) in order to replace it with something ultra-modern and fabulous, hopefully like the tiles on the bottom of the space shuttle.

I should mention at this juncture that this tooth has been the bane of my frickin’ existence since I was about nine. It’s had so many fillings and was such a problem that one day in 1993 I went crazy with pain and started limping down McCauley Street hitting myself in the face with a basketball shoe. True story.

Anyway, they had to put a bone graft in there to get it ready for the new tooth, and it takes, like, three months of dicking around. In the meantime, I had to get stitches that are supposed to dissolve, but instead, are annoying the ever-living YAK SHIT out of me. And I have to wear a “flapper”, which looks exactly like dentures except it has one vampiric tooth on it that regularly mesmerizes my daughter. And I keep leaving it in the car.

The surgery itself still aches, and I haven’t been able to eat anything crunchy in weeks. I bought sweet potatoes and cooked them down into a mushy puree. I bought cream-o-mushroom soup. I long for chips, peanuts, ANYTHING THAT CRUNCHES but even tough bread hurts it. I’m sick of eating on one side. And there’s only so much Advil I’m willing to ingest.

There. Now what was your complaint for the day?

0 thoughts on “fix-o-dent

  1. chip

    My compliant is that you haven’t posted the 10 rules from last week.
    Other than that, no complaints.
    Sorry to hear about your tooth, though. How about a YouTube video of you with the vampire tooth and Lucy that ends with “I like cheese” or some other non sequitur from Lucyloo.

  2. salem's little sister

    I am so ready for the Thanksgiving Break because I have been on Mommy duty for about 3 weeks straight and it’s turning me into that mommy you see at Wal-Mart who tells her kid he don’t deserve a coke.

  3. DFB's&T's

    My complaint is health insurance companies. My mother is in a hospital in France and we’ve arranged an air ambulance for her to North Carolina. But, it took 3 apppeals to get her health insurance to cover the hospitalization in NC. Keep in mind that they’ve paid for the hospital in France! They say that her care in France is just as good as NC, including the psychological care she is getting for her depression following her car wreck. Does not matter that the French on-call psychologist and psychiatrist do not speak one word of English! For any of you that may work in the psych field, I’d think an inability to communicate with your patient could be a difficult barrier to overcome.
    So, after numerous appeals and a personal call from the NC Insurance Commissioner (thanks to my best friend’s cousin, a NC State Senator!!!!!), they relented. They are going to cover it and she was literally being wheeled out of the French hospital to the air ambulance jet at 645am EST.
    By the way, air ambulances are not covered by practically any health insurance, but are covered if you happen to buy “travel insurance” before your trip. I strongly encourage all of you to consider buying “travel insurance” next time you go anywhere — it is a lot cheaper than an $79,800.00 air ambulance. Yes, you read that right — $79,800.00!
    Before anyone, however, starts to jump on a soap box about French health care, ugly American health care, etc., I have tales that could curl your hair. Save me the trouble and yourself the embarrassment.

  4. bridget

    i watched the steelers lose to the miserable jets in 35 degree weather surrounded by a stadium full of depressed pittsburgh fans.

  5. quinn

    It’s really small, relative to all this, but we’re doing a walking tour of a school for Daughter this afternoon and I have a blister the size of a Newfoundland on my heel (had to wear the pretty shoes a week ago). I’m going to be known as “The mother who walks like Quasimodo”. Somehow, I fear this will reflect upon my child.

  6. Neva

    DFBs and Ts – I bet I could counter your hair curling stories from France with plenty from our system too, however, I will save that for another day. Glad your Mom made it back.
    My complaint. Back pain. Terrible, life altering, misery-making lower back pain.. that came on suddenly and terribly in the middle of my vacation last week. Sucks!
    Back pain, I’ve decided, is one of those things like parenthood or marriage or heartbreak that you can’t really explain to people. They must experience it themselves to truly appreciate it. I do not wish that, however, on my worst enemy.
    Today, at least, seems a bit better thanks to ulcer inducing amounts of motrin, heating pads, stinky menthol creams and skelaxin. Maybe today I can bend over. At least I can get off the toilet by myself. That’s improvement.

  7. Bozoette Mary

    I have a big project that’s been nagging at me for months. Despite many promises, I still have not received review comments from my subject-matter expert. I’m ready to kneel on her throat.

  8. gina

    I guess I’ll complain about my sinuses. My nose is no longer running and I don’t have a cough any more, but the left side of my face ACHES. Just makes me irritable and off-kilter.
    Also, while my son’s elementary school (K-1) is very good overall, it peeves me that one playground aide is supposed to watch 80 to 100 children during lunch recess. Usually the PE teacher is also out there watching over a soccer game, but STILL. My son has had a hard time adjusting to the rigors of Kindergarten, and playground time (read: unstructured time) has seen its share of “incidents.” However, even if he had a perfect behavior record, the lack of supervision would still be irksome. They are 5 and 6 year olds for goodness sake! I know it bothers some of the other parents, too — another soccer mom brought up the subject with no prompting by me.
    Thanks for the gripe forum.

  9. Anne

    Your complaint trumps any of mine right now, Ian.
    That being said, if my fricken knee (that I injured way back in *AUGUST*) doesn’t stop hurting and clicking and generally being a PITA soon — and, yes, I am getting phys therapy for it, twice a week — I’m gonna follow your example and limp down the street wacking myself with my (now useless) running shoes. OY.

  10. LFMD

    I am still fat. Can’t seem to lose weight and I am very frustrated. I am really not trying hard enough, though. I mean, I do things EVERYDAY that I don’t necessarily want to do. . . . get out of bed, go to work, cook dinner. . . . but I do it. Why can’t I make my health a priority and add “exercise” to the list?

  11. hk

    I got a few eye floaters the last couple of months and they are driving me crazy in bright outside lights and working against the white computer screen. AGH!

  12. jordi's friend jill

    I think I’m about to be fired because I disagree with my boss and my boss’s boss about what should be a priority in my job. After 5 years of doing the same thing, you would think they might trust me to know what is actually important, and what is just busy-work. My pride is injured, and I could probably save my job if I could just forget about that, but I can’t.
    I feel better. Thanks, Ian!

  13. craighill

    butch davis thinking hard about going to arkansas. hearing unc is going to offer a bunch more $ and major upgrades to kenan but he’s still undecided. ugh.

  14. al

    November sucks. It’s dark and grey. The weather is bitter. Everyone is tired and cranky. Myself included. Stores already are bombarding us with Christmas crap. There is nothing to do at work and everyone hates me because I drank too much on Friday on an empty stomach and nothing I said came out quite the way I meant it. But I really hated that bar and usually music can make me happy but it wasn’t just the band that sucked that night – there were way too many people enjoying themselves. Why can’t I get a date?

  15. xuxE

    Spent 10 hours organizing my home office and cleaning the dining toom for thanksgiving with my organizer friend I hired – while my husband ate at a great restaurant, played music at the biggest most fabulous club in SF and then went to the hardest to get in afterhours with full on VIP treatment, all of which is technically his job.
    While I was cleaning I was supposed to be writing my script, which is also related to why it took two people 10 hours to sort out all my shit.
    I am sitting in an airport for the third time in a week, but this time I am heading to wyoming where it will be 40 degrees and maybe snowing and I don’t have a coat.
    My 8 year old has a black eye from some kind of wrestling antics at a sleepover. Other kid is undamaged. Not looking forward to holiday pictures at this point,

  16. chip

    If Butch gets 3.2 million from Arkansas I think we should let him go.
    UNC football screwed up by hiring two guys (Torbush and Bunting) who were not ready to be D1 head coaches and had no track record as D1 head coaches. Then we went out and got a proven coach who I believe has improved things, even if the record isn’t better than last year.
    Havine said that, just as we tried to get coaches on the cheap in Bunting and Torbush and hoped they would grow into the job, I don’t want us to go the other way and overpay for Butch. I really believe we could find a coach that could get the same results as Butch will get and not have to mortgage the farm.

  17. mcf

    my complaint: not to be a scrooge, but christmas “arriving” earlier every year.
    christmas tunes have already started to take over some radio stations. the decorations are up in many shops.
    i expect salvation army santas to be trick or treating alongside folks with unicef boxes one halloween soon.
    petty, i know. but it is Complaint Monday.

  18. Rebecca

    Should I copy and paste what I wrote last night on Friday’s blog entry? Sunday night is when I make my list of things to do this week, and so I felt like complaining. Sorry.

  19. tregen

    The judge did not grant my continuance this morning. There was absolutely no reason not to grant the continuance but he let three plaintiffs lawyers go on and on for over an hour in oral argument! One hour of argument for a motion for continuance!!!! Unbelievable. And there have been no other trial date continuances… then to make matters worse, he didn’t even decide the issue but instead punted it down the road until one month before trial!!! WTF! It has made me insane half the damn day.

  20. Amy

    My iPod just shat the bed.
    But!–the genius says–I can trade it in! And get 10% off a new iPod!
    But my iPod’s only two years old–I says.
    That’s pretty good!–says the genius.

  21. michelle

    My complaint? That I bust my balls (if I had them) every day to make the world a better place for artists to live, but some of those artists are so vitriolic and negative (and have chosen me as the high-def screen on which they project all of their complaints with the world) that they make me want to quit my job.
    Again, small potatoes, but it’s my gripe for the season.

  22. nb

    this is not a compliant, but i’ve can’t for the life of me remember where the original cat’s cradle was located. Can anybody help me so I can sleep again?

  23. wyatt

    Hmmm. My complaints include:
    The local schools’ special education squad. Those people are not helpful.
    The fact that I can’t listen to UNC hoops and Woody for free, online or on the radio.
    Drivers who don’t stop at red lights.
    Folks who take the time to write letters to the newspaper complaining about bicyclists.
    The government, the war, corporations, the media, the environment, and the Japanese whale hunters. Why do the kids get Wednesday off from school? And I’m out of limes. $79,800? I got nothing to complain about.

  24. LFMD

    Ian, I gotta share this. One of my best childhood friends has moved with her family to my part of Maryland. Which is very funny, because she and I are from Jersey. . . and 20 years later, here we are in neighboring suburbs of MD. Anyway, her husband is a doctor with the military. And get this. . . .her husband/doctor is one of President Bush’s personal physicians. No kidding. That makes YOU, through ME, just 3 degrees of separation from the man in charge of the President’s well being.

  25. Rebecca

    Laurie: my Mom has a friend in Concord NC whose son-in-law is on POTUS’s secret service detail. I told her to tell him to DUCK!
    xuxE: My 8 year old got a black eye in September, the week before school pictures. It’s still slightly swollen and purple in a few spots. Those things take a long time to heal. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

  26. Ian

    nb – if I’m recalling correctly, the original Cradle was on West Franklin St, in the neighborhood of the Cave, Internationalist Books, and a Mexican restaurant that used to be called (I think) Margerita’s. I saw the Indigo Girls there when they had a viola player, circa 1987.
    Then it moved down to the old phone building, near BW3, across the street from the old Hardee’s (now Panera Bread?) – this was my year’s golden age, from Dillon Fence and Johnny Quest to Bob Mould and the late-night productions of Caleb Southern.
    I think it moved to its present Carrboro location around 1995 or so.

  27. kmeelyon

    oh, i’m so glad you asked.
    my complaint of the day is that on sunday morning, i got off my 48 hour call shift for the university where i work. it was supposed to be a 72 hour call shift, but at some point, i realized that i would be on an airplane during the latter part of my shift early monday morning, heading towards JFK. so if students were in crisis, i was probably not going to be in a good situation to handle them. so i got a kind soul to take the last 24 hours of the shift.
    anyway, following two sleepless nights, i tried to get my crap together to pack for NY early monday morning. i still have this annoying cough that just pushes its way out of my chest every now and then. i’ve had it for, oh, six weeks. doctor gave me a chest x-ray on thursday, but no pneumonia.
    so i’m sleep deprived. and coughing. and i’ve just packed a reasonable amount of clothing for a five night trip. Maybe there were two pairs of boots in there, but i need them for two different evenings. maybe there were some sex toys. but i feel that they were also required for this trip and they don’t take up THAT much space. all in all, i think it is a regular amount of things to bring, but suddenly, DAMN my bag is heavy. has my suitcase ever felt this heavy before? i don’t think so. i can lift it, but, uh, had i mentioned yet my shoulder pain? let me tell you about my shoulder pain. i had a rotator cuff injury last year and a pinched ulnar nerve this year in the same arm. and also, oh yeah, and fricked up AC joint in that shoulder. the heavy suitcase, no problem. the heavy suitcase, plus my wonky shoulder? this is just a recipe for pain. but my ex is coming with me! he said he’d carry my bag!
    so yeah, that brings us to the ex. sure, it’s only been a couple of months, but it’s totally okay that he is coming to new york with me, to hang out with my family. that won’t be weird. we’re friends. i mean maybe we’re sort of extra friendly friends, but it’s cool. and maybe i just noticed that his personal ad is back up again. nothing wrong with that. i don’t think so. i mean…it’s THANKSGIVING!! this is gonna be GREAT!! what could go wrong?
    so, no matter that i haven’t slept, i’m hacking my brains out, my bag is so heavy i cannot move it, my shoulder is on the verge of just-about-to-hurt and the man i’m sharing my room with is courting internet hotties while we travel together. i’m looking forward to this trip, dammit!
    i haven’t a single thing to complain about.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.