he’s not Worthy


Is it okay to say I hate Kobe Bryant?

Yeah, yeah, I guess that makes me a “playa hata” and all that shit, and I realize he’s talented, blah blah blah fucking blah, but I just can’t stand the sight of him. It started for me back when he was drafted in 1996 when he flat-out refused to play for anyone but the Lakers. He was an 18-year-old who didn’t even make the starting five, and he still told the Charlotte Hornets to go fuck themselves, even though he was only the 13th pick. And I’ve always loathed the Lakers, probably for the same reason it was the only place he’d go.

The basketball Zen master Phil Jackson called him “uncoachable” in his book, which makes sense, because the essence of Buddhism is a loss of ego, clearly something that would be impossible for someone with Bryant’s weltanschauung. It seemed to me the rape case was inevitable, as was Kobe’s attacking the accuser’s mental state and painting her as a giant whore.

But the worst is obvious – he has a big thing for Dook. Sometimes he looks skyward, reflectively, and wonders what he’d “look like in a Duke uniform”. Seriously, besides a few silky jumpers, can someone please explain the allure?

(UPDATE: more from King Kaufman on Salon)

0 thoughts on “he’s not Worthy

  1. GFWD

    I became a Lakers fan when they got Magic and James Worthy. I enjoyed the Shaq & Kobe Lakers, but primarily because they also had Carolina’s Rick Fox. Can’t get my heart around the Kobe-Lakers. Despite the fact this team was assembled through the shrewd trading of UNC’s Kupchak, I find that I like the Celtics players better.
    Kobe said that if he had gone to college, he’d have gone to dook. That tells you all you need to know about him.
    As for the rape case, she dropped the charges and her case. Hard to make the leap of uncoachable to rapist in one breath. But he’s still a poons.

  2. Rebecca

    Greg, she dropped the rape case because she feared for her life. She was being stalked by psychos who were displaying her name and photo on the internet and threatening her.

  3. GFWD

    I’m not going to defend Kobe and I can appreciate that bringing suit against a high profile celebrity or athlete is problematic because of factors not solely related to the facts of the case or evidence available.
    From what I’ve read about the case, however, her dropping of the case and subsequent undisclosed monetary settlement was not solely because of some rants from crazed crackpots. There were allegedly holes in her testimony, evidence and credibility. But, to be fair, neither of us was there and I certainly do not claim to know all of the facts and I would never vouch for Kobe.
    My only point was that it’s a little unfair to make the leap from Kobe being “uncoachable” to suggest, based on that observation, that a rape case was inevitable.
    It’s more fair to suggest he is a selfish, whiny, supremely talented basketball phenom whom none of us would necessarily like to play with, if we had a choice.

  4. craighill

    kobe’s allure is simply that he’s the best basketball player in the world. hard not to respect (like?) that, especially in a sport that most of us know and love. doesn’t hurt he’s good looking, super rich and smart. come to think of it, he is the american dream for just about every kid in the country, for better or for worse.

  5. Schultz

    I’m a hater.
    I hate “Colby”
    I hate the NBA
    On a more positive note…..
    How about them Heels???? College World Series!!!!!

  6. DFB's&T's

    Geez, Greg, just because the State dismissed all charges against Kobe does not mean he is innocent!
    By your analysis, I guess you somehow think that the dook lacrosse players might conceivably be innocent of rape too too, huh?!

  7. emma

    Ofcourse, if he had gone to dook, history indicates that he would have ruined his chances of becoming an nba allstar.

  8. jersey

    i hate all things boston. i hate kobe. i hate this finals match-up. i hate that the knicks are so bad. i hate the nba. i hate duke more. i hate that i am so filled with hate.


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