Poor little Lulu was supposed to graduate from “toddler bridge group” to “pre-K” today, but when I saw her lying on the couch doing nothing, I knew things had gone south. Her temperature was 102.4 and she was hot to the touch.

Tessa has come down with sinus misery, and by late this afternoon, I could barely swallow. This whole house is laid low, man. Can someone out there be effortlessly witty and delightful in my stead today?

0 thoughts on “guaifenesin

  1. DFB's&T's

    I propose a day of light-hearted revelry regarding the fantastic state of UNC basketball and how it has caused Coach K to be on suicide-watch. Any other ideas?

  2. Salem's Little Sister

    Hey Guys. I need some advice. I just got this email from a friend of mine and I’m not sure how or if to respond. Our husbands go to Dook together and we are both very involved in the Partner’s organization. This friend was brought into a group of friends by me and she quickly turned off all of our friends except for me in about 2 months. They all picked up on her loaded comments and ability to make a statement to you or about you that could be taken as either odd or just mean depending on how you interpreted it. I have been her defender, but now she’s starting to come after me, I think. I’m pretty wide open when it comes to my interactions with people and don’t have agendas or carefully construct my comments. Anyway, here is what she said to me when I asked how things were going for her this summer. Her husband is interning in the mid-west and she and the kids went with him. Keep in mind I am from NC and love the south and everyone knows that.
    “Missing NC, but really loving it here too. Midwest people are nicer than southern people. Sorry, but it’s true! :D”
    WTF? Maybe midwesterners are nicer than southerners. That’s great and bully for them. My beef is the fact that she said that to me, her friend, a southerner. What was the point of that and how is she expecting me to respond? Am I being girly and should I even respond or acknowledge the statement? Help!

  3. DFB's&T's

    Salem: How about the following —
    “Ironically, the South has gotten a lot nicer since you left and I am hearing reports that the opposite has happpened in the Midwest.”

  4. GFWD

    I’ve met folks like that who don’t seem to have a decorum filter and don’t realize how their words are taken. Clearly, she still likes you but believes that the Midwesterners are nicer on the whole. That’s fine. If it still chaps you, however, especially based on her past efforts with your circle of friends, you can respond as follows:
    “That’s awesome for you and your family! I am so excited for you to find a place where you truly fit in and you can settle in to raise your family. I hope he [hubby] gets that job following this internship. Let me know when you need me to send you batches of sweet tea and southern BBQ once you get settled.”
    What you’re really saying is, “Don’t let the moving van hit your big ass on the way out the door.”
    Keep in mind, I don’t know if your friend has a big ass. I’m just saying.
    But, on to the bigger problem I saw in your post. Why, young lady, did you capitalize dook. NEVER capitalize dook! And what are you doing married to a dookie? Carolina people are nice than dook people. Sorry, but it’s true! :D

  5. cullen

    Lil’ sis,
    Remind her of all the best southern summer foodstuffs and such she’ll miss in the Mid-West: real BBQ, pimiento cheese, truly sweet tea, ….
    Also, rub in that natural beauty card that Ga./NC/SC, etal. all did best compared to the Midwest at having mountains(not just undulations) and an accessible ocean.
    Seriously though, folks (depending on who you meet) are nice (and nasty) all over. Sounds like she’s trying to convince herself as much as anyone. In termination, just like Cali’s famed govuhnuh Ahnold says, “she’ll be back”.
    BTW, how do you type a schwa symbol (topsy-turvy ‘e’)? And sorry ’bout the Williams’ bouts with illness; get well soon.

  6. wyatt

    poor thing; how long was she in the South? heh, give the “Midwest people” time to get to know her. bless her heart.

  7. craighill

    1) the only negative thing about the heels’ ’09 season is that detroit sucks. ;)
    2) SLS – sounds like a cell number deletion in the very near future. cut bait.

  8. kjf

    those midwesterners ain’t so nice when they are shovelling out of a foot of snow. sorry nebraska but it’s true.

  9. LFMD

    SLS – remember that sometimes the tone of an email can be misinterpreted. That said, I agree with craighill — life is too short to remain in touch with people who grate on you. If she really gets under your skin, cut bait and avoid her when she returns.
    Oh, and did you hear the news?? Jamie Lynn had a little girl. When oh when will Brangelina have their twins????
    Have you been watching the Real World this season? Just when I think I can’t take any more, I keep coming back. This may be the dumbest season yet.

  10. CM

    “Oh, and did you hear the news?? Jamie Lynn had a little girl.”
    And yet, so many responsible, hard-working people I know are having problems with infertility. Not fair!

  11. Salem's Little Sister

    LFMD: Of course I’m watching RW. It’s such a train wreck, but I can’t quit it.
    Thanks guys for the laughs and suggestions. I’m just not used to people coming at me with an angle when there is no need. I’m so aware and careful about not offending anyone and when I come across a person who has such little regard for someone else’s feelings, I don’t know how to react. I think I’ll go with GFDW’s suggestion, but I really want to use DFB&T!
    This makes me think about an old joke:
    Southern girl asks a (insert different region) girl :
    “Where y’all from?”
    The (insert different region) girl replies:
    ” Where I’m from, we don’t end our sentences with a preposition.”
    Southern girl smiles sweetly and replies:
    “Oh I’m so sorry. Let me try again. Where y’all from, bitch?”

  12. T.J.

    As implied above, the best response? “Bless your heart!” Which, of course, could mean anything from “You’re so sweet!” to “Eff you, beeyotch.”


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