Okay, let’s play catch-up with the blog.
1. It’s true what they say: colonoscopies and endoscopies are fine in and of themselves, but the preparation? Jesus Living Poopypants, that was one of the most miserable nights of my life. I hope by the time Lucy and all our other kids get to my age, there’s some GammaCam that will be able to see your jejunum in hi-def without even taking off your fanny pack.
Another thing – I don’t know how many of you have had to “go under” in the last couple of years, but the art of anesthesia has truly turned a corner. No longer are you groggy for days; they can time your waking within minutes. In fact, they had to wake me up after one procedure to get my consent for the next, and it was no problem.
2. Great answers for the pop quiz on Thursday – particularly strong entries from Kevin, Sean M, Ehren and Caren, and of course Kaz wrote the book on question one. Janet provided her poetry, and if Matt had answered all three questions, he probably would have gotten the highest grade, but alas…
Anyway, our independent graders give the highest marks to Jody K, for clarity, succinctness and overall command. Jody, what bizarre Venice beach tchotchke would you like, or do any of you have suggestions?
3. The Chinese Gymanastic Team? Give me a fucking break. Yes, they were fantastic in many respects, but fer crying out loud… THERE IS NO WAY THEY ARE 16 YEARS OLD.
I come from a big family. I have hundreds of cousins. I have seen thousands of people grow up before my eyes. I know what a 10-year-old looks like, I know what a 12-year-old looks like, and I know what a 14-year-old looks like. Only their team captain, not coincidentally their worst performer, could possibly be sixteen.
It’s cheating, straight-up, grade-A bullshit. 20-year-old Alicia Sacramone, the oddly-hot American gymnast, buckled under the pressure, sure, but I agree with Ann Killion – it’s not fair to compete against children who haven’t got a full grasp of the stakes.
I guess nobody can actually do a damned thing about this, because the Chinese government can provide any documentation they want – and god knows, if we have to apologize for wearing masks in the polluted bike races, we sure can’t raise a stink about 12-year-old gymnasts.
You know me – I’m no jingoistic America-first chowderhead, and proved it during the last Olympics, but this, my friends, is a load of crap. Come back, Sam Peszek, come back, Nastia! You’re pure, American, curvy, athletic, womanly gold in my heart!