I want all of you to know I just experienced a MASSIVE CULTURAL AND POLITICAL NADIR. Put simply, my Nexus of Hell is an auditorium where Kobe Bryant wins a gold medal, Koach K wins a gold medal, both applauded by the entire Bush family. Frankly, I’m surprised Christian Laettner didn’t show up with the guy who shot John Lennon. If I hadn’t actually fainted from abject hatred, I would have thrown up ON THE CEILING every time they showed Olympic basketball.
It came down to this: Kobe decided to actually play, and Lebron James was allowed off the bench. Throw in some extra passes, and it was Game Over. Yes, I realize former Tar Heel Larry Brown didn’t do us any favors in Athens, but he was dealing with a post-Dream Team that hated each other and lit their farts on fire with burning $1000 bills.
It’s positively sickening to think Koach K will now be given any credit for “bringing gold back to America” (read my prediction from 2 years ago), when the whole thing was such kabuki theater from the start. You know when they start selling “Redeem Team” T-shirts, sweats, shoes, pencils, spatulas and fabric softener sheets that it reeked of an NBA and American Professional Sports® maneuver, and indeed it was.
The Arizona Diamondbacks owner and president of USA Basketball is a guy named Jerry Colangelo who, of all things, wanted this Olympic basketball team to resonate “AMERICA” and to even connect the team to our military. Who better to do that then Koach K, whom Tommy Craggs nails perfectly: “Krzyzewski and his towering persecution complex are well-suited to the kind of young players who masochistically self-identify as the Redeem Team.”
So they brought in maimed soldiers from the Iraq War to show our hoops players what “Team USA” really means. Even Washington Wizards power forward Etan Thomas called bullshit: “It would have made me feel ashamed, angered and saddened that this soldier was blinded at the service of a war we shouldn’t have been in in the first place.” And not to nitpick, but fucking Jerry Colangelo and Mike Krkykerwkswy have never served in combat – what is with these people?
The military, masochism, bullyism, a persecution complex, mindless jingoism… hey, that sounds like somebody else we know! USA Basketball is the perfect team for Team Bush.
Not that it seems totally obvious or anything, but Jerry Colangelo is one of the brain trustees behind Battin’ 1000!, perhaps the most egregious anti-choice, anti-stem cell, rabid right-wing collection of Americans you’re likely to find. Colangelo held Battin’ 1000!’s first press conference at his stadium (which was paid for by taxpayers – thanks, Battin’ 1000!) and his group handed out shirts that said “Abortion is Homicide” and “You Will Not Mock My God”. They oppose a woman’s choice even if she is raped, or if her life is in danger.
Well, you know the score. Not that my opinion counts for much given the vast expanse of the solar system, but I’ve always had antipathy for Kobe Bryant, my tomes on dook’s coach could fill a coffee table book, and if it weren’t for loathing our sniveling fratboy thug President, it’d be hard to keep this blog going. You will all have your opinions, and we all know who thinks what around here, but for anyone out there who saw the Redeem Team and it seemed a bit… creepy? This one’s for you.