Okay, so my joke post was not appreciated by some of the commenters and a lot of you emailers. So let’s dispense with the horseplay, and I’ll tell you what I really think. Keep in mind that I am in no way affiliated with the Obama campaign other than voting for him – in fact, he says certain things are off-limits, but he’s a greater man than I am, and this is my blog. Admittedly, it’s a tiny lectern, but ’tis mine.
I wrote yesterday’s post because, like they say, we laugh to keep ourselves from crying. In reality, I find the Sarah Palin choice to be so dangerously simpleminded, so criminally stupid, so insulting to the intelligence of American voters that McCain and his entire party should be fucking ashamed.
How DARE they put this person so close to the leadership of this country – you’re telling me, in a world that has the possibility of loose nukes, economic collapse and the wanton subversion of the rule of law, that you’re going to put Sarah Palin one bad-fall-down-the-stairs away from leading the United States of America? I’m sorry, but please FUCK OFF.
That shows such disrespect to our Founding Fathers that I wouldn’t be surprised if the zombie skeletons of George Washington, James Monroe, and Alexander Hamilton crawled out of their graves in order to eat Karl Rove’s brain. Sarah Palin’s only executive experience before briefly governing our Least Populous State was being mayor of Wasilla, a town of 8400 people.
How many is 8400 people? Let’s use last season’s home Dook game as an example:
Some GOP loyalists actually implied she has foreign policy experience because she lives so close to Russia – by that logic, Republicans should have no trouble getting LASIK surgery from somebody who lived very close to an opthamologist.
She – and the people around her – are so chunderheaded that they say things like “We’re proud of Bristol’s decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents.” At the Republican convention, I heard a lady say “I think it shows real courage for Sarah to choose having a baby they knew had Down’s Syndrome.” Lost on all of these people are two words: “decision” and “choose”. If Sarah Palin had her way, ALL WOMEN WOULD HAVE NO CHOICE, AND NO DECISIONS.
My personal feelings are ugly and unsubstantiated. I feel like I knew families like the Palins. I grew up with them in Iowa and Utah. The press-on nails, the mall hair, the easy invocation of Jesus, the wrathful patriarchy. The eldest daughter, who has zero intention of listening to her mother, has sex with the local star hockey player, a hunk of mullet-headed meat whose MySpace page declares “I’m a fucking redneck”:
other quotes: “I like… fucking chilling, I guess.” “Ya fuck with me, I’ll kick your ass” and “I don’t want kids.”
Yes, these are the guys that’d routinely beat the shit out of me at school, they’re the ones that make fun of faggots, they’re the ones banging on the plexiglass windows during the Florida recount in 2000. One can’t get too mad, though – this poor bastard Levi just underage-fucked his way into No More Fun With the Boys. No more “shooting the shit”, no more hockey: as soon as the election is over, he’s got an eternity of screaming babies, screaming wife and screaming grandparents hovering over him at the Applebee’s in Juneau.
Do I have baggage? Fuck right I do. We all do. But I’ve had it with wingnuts telling me what I’m not allowed to mention in public discourse after the way they have savaged progressives and their families over the last ten years. Do not ask me to provide specifics; I am not going to line ducks up for you to shoot.
So there you have it: a middling, C-minus pro-lifer who wants to put creationism back in the schools, and believes the Iraq war is a mission sent to our soldiers by God. Her stance on family reeks of the worst kind of hypocrisy, and until very recently, she had no idea what the Vice-President even does. If I were a woman still stinging from Hillary’s loss, I would tell John McCain’s campaign to EAT SHIT.
This is proof that the ruling class of Republicans don’t give a fucking fuck about America – this is just a game to them. Listen to them chortle at the convention about how the Sarah Palin choice got liberals in a tizzy. That’s because to them, it’s about the tizzy, not about America. It’s about confusing, obfuscating, triangulating and just plain bullshitting. It’s not about the country.
Fuck the whole lot of them. I have no desire to be a team player, I have no desire to be bi-partisan. I want Obama to win, and then I want to STICK IT to the other guys, keep twisting the knife until it hurts. I want them to be so thoroughly humiliated that their brand of thinking goes back into the Chest of Failed Ideas along with Stalinism, slavery and New Coke.
And yet, I do respect and am quite attached to the conservatives who comment here. All posts like these do is just bum all of you out. Which is why, when it comes to certain things, obviously a joke is much, much better.