Okay, a third blog in a row about politics. It’s going to be a political week on here, so if you don’t like it, there’s always Cute Overload. And thus…
The bar was set so low for Sarah Palin’s speech that she could have taken two giant dumps on the podium and been praised for not taking a third. She read the words on the teleprompter – written by George W. Bush’s speechwriter – with gusto, but offered nothing but tacky denigrations of Barack Obama’s character, along with a litany of complete and utter falsehoods.
The depths to which this shit has sunk… do the Republicans at this convention know they are a culmination of every asshole from 1980s teen movies? All the guys are James Spader from “Pretty in Pink”, and all the girls are Heather from “Heathers”. In fact, every time Sarah Palin opened her mouth, I was reminded of why J.D. kills the football players – “they had nothing to offer except date rapes and AIDS jokes.”
How fucking DARE she make fun of community organizers? They’re the only people left in America who help those who’ve been abandoned by everyone else, and to hear this horrible woman demean them for laughs… frankly, I couldn’t bear it. Besides her bizarre, psychosexual repetition of McCain’s time spent as a prisoner of war, Palin said nothing to inspire people upwards, only taunts, lies, and jokes fed to the convention hall like gazelle meat to rabid lions.
In a way, tonight was calming. Because truly, if McCain/Palin wins an election over Obama/Biden, this country is so fucked as to warrant abandonment. If this guttersniping, lying marionette and her twisted, ghoulishly-grinning mentor are the people America wants, then the debate is over, les jeux sont faits, we know not to care anymore.
It was one thing that Bush won in 2000 – the Supreme Court, a confusing ballot, and Katherine Harris’ purge lists made sure of that. It was another that he won in 2004 – thanks to America’s 9/11 hangover and cognitive dissonance. But after all we know now, after everything has come to light, and seeing what these Republicans represent? It will mean that the country finally got too hopeless to be worth saving. And for those of us who care so passionately, there will be relief in knowing that it’s over.
Yeah, yeah: I already hear the outcry. Of course there are some smart conservatives; many of them write on these pages. It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s the easily-duped well-meaning proletariats who have lost the ability – or desire – for critical thinking. And, of course, the drooling rednecks who are already chanting “don’t let the door hit yer ass on the way out, you fucking faggot!”
I tell you, that’s fine. Us elitists, you know, the ones with education, the ones that took an active interest in the world around us, the ones that flourished in the many-hued world of nuance and occasionally tried to make the world a better place – rather than hoarding as much as we could for ourselves and putting barbed wire and guns around it – We will opt out.
We might go to our own version of Coastopia, we might take our talents to another country. There will be a brain drain, the best and brightest fleeing to another place that doesn’t make them sick to their stomach. Young idealists will opt out of politics, and then opt out of helping America do anything, and then, perhaps, opt out of the whole tribal idea of America itself. Giggle if you must, if it makes you feel better. That’s cool. I could be wrong.
Speaking only for myself, then. If Sarah Palin and John McCain are elected to run the country, I’m more than happy to fuck off.
[UPDATE: VIDEO FOR YOUR PLEASURE (thanks, laffy!]