neti pot smoker

2/18/09

Yesterday, I went to one of the best ENT doctors in the country, and when he looked inside my sinuses he gasped. Actually gasped. It was all he could do to not bring his friends in the room and say “hey y’all, look at THIS!” He did say it was one of the worst infections he’d seen in many moons, and I was to be put on giant antibiotic horse pills – one step below actually getting a rhinoceros shot of Cipro in the ass.

I’m not allowed to blow my nose, breathe heavily, take hot showers, drink hot liquids or exercise. As if that weren’t life-negating enough, I have to swab the inside of my nose with Polysporin on a Q-Tip, which makes me want to sneeze, blow my nose every three seconds, chop down sequoia trees with a fucking axe, and hurl myself into rock quarries.

It’s obvious now why I’ve been getting these goddamn migraines for three years, and why I’ve been so sick; my sinuses are basically acting as a USB input to download every virus coming through the ether. And because one sinus is always impacted, I have to sleep on my left side, which has destroyed my back. At least now there’s an answer to all these problems, but for today, I just have to say SOMEBODY ELSE WRITE THIS DAMN BLOG!

0 thoughts on “neti pot smoker

  1. Bud

    Feel better soon, Ian….
    Having been through a few respiratory infections, I can empathize.
    I’ll pick up the ball and try to run with it. Who agrees with me that our health care system needs major reform? What kind of system would best serve the USA?

    Reply
  2. Bud

    OK — never mind. It’s too serious and boring for a Thursday. Let me try again….
    What’s your favorite TV theme song?
    Mine’s “Dog Pound Hop”, the Ren & Stimpy theme song. It’s based on Howlin’ Wolf’s “Killing Floor” and is AWESOME.
    Yours?

    Reply
  3. Cris

    My all-time favorite would be the theme to Thirtysomething. Close runners-up would be One Day at a Time and the Jeffersons (which is one of the most enduringly popular TV theme songs in my opinion).
    At the bottom of the list might tbe Friends theme. Loved the show, but that damn song really got on my nerves after a while.

    Reply
  4. Jennifer M

    I hope you feel better soon, Ian!
    My favorite TV theme song is They Might Be Giants’ “Boss of Me” from Malcolm in the Middle.
    I also really like The Daily Show’s song. It never gets old.

    Reply
  5. Salem's Little Sister

    The song for Friday Night Lights
    Feel better soon Ian and is the DR. going to do anything to help you out in the future?

    Reply
  6. Martha

    Flight of the Conchords – it gets me giggling right away.
    Ian – question – did the doc have anything to say about the yeti pot? Is it/was it helpful, hurtful?

    Reply
  7. lm

    Wonder if you have nasal polyps. I used to get sinus infections 4-5 times a year treated w/antibiotics. Dr. said he didn’t want to prescribe antibiotics that often. I use the neti pot at the start of every cold or sinus infection. Haven’t had a sinus infection in over three years! It’s not fun but the neti pot works.

    Reply
  8. caveman

    I posted earlier with a link but it seems to have gotten hung up in cyberspaze.
    Hands down favorite:
    Maureen McGovern – Different Worlds – Theme to “Angie” (youtube it and you will believe)

    Reply
  9. jje

    Feel better soon, Ian!
    Party of Five – Closer to Free by the Bodeans
    This is random, but the theme song for the Women’s NCAA Final Four ages ago – a Joan Jett remake of “Love is All Around,” the Mary Tyler Moore theme song.

    Reply
  10. jje

    In that same vein, “Be Like Mike,” the old Gatorade theme song.
    I know, jingles, but whatever. Catchy stuff!
    What is up with Gatorade going by G, anyway? Stupid. And those creepy guys at the end of the commercial scare me.

    Reply
  11. kmeelyon

    Hmmm, Ian. I hope you get better soon! But now I’m wondering how being cured of the mega-sinus infection will affect the voice and tone of your blog….? ;)

    Reply
  12. xuxE

    yep, i think links are not working right now.
    my picks: for current stuff, i think it would be growing up creepie theme song, yo gabba gabba, pucca theme song, and the weird one for robot chicken
    for old classics, i think i would go with the maude theme song, good times, welcome back kotter, the jeffersons, and sanford and son.

    Reply
  13. sean

    Hey, Ian, what can you tell us about your cousin and Yo Gabba Gabba? C’mon, celeb-humper, I bet you’ve got something, right?

    Reply
  14. Randy

    Ian, sorry to hear about the infection. I had what the doctor thinks was antibiotic resistant infection in my nose about a month ago and they did give me the shot in the rump and started quantities of antibiotics and the neosporin swab in the nose. It will eventually clear up, but it is not fun while it is there. Take care.
    Actually, I’ve continued the neosporin because it seems to keep things from drying out with the heat in the winter months.

    Reply
  15. kate

    Jeez, I thought my having bronchitis + sinusitis was bad. You win. =/
    I’ve been using my neti pot 3 times a day for the past week, and I like to think it’s helping. I usually blow my nose for about 20 minutes afterwards, though. Where all this crap is still coming from is beyond me. This is my first sinus infection or sinus-related problem of any kind, so I’m clueless about what to do other than take my huge anti-biotics every morning.
    Feel better soon!

    Reply
  16. oliver

    Exciting though to maybe have the grand unifying theory for what’s been ailing ye. Not to mention extraordinary sinuses.

    Reply

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