i like my tea green, and in cameron


While writing a blog to my daughter, I got sidetracked by some vile Americans who are threatening her future, and if you’ve seen any of the “teabagging” horseshit going on today, you’ll know what I mean. What a bunch of pathetic, easily-swayed, rage-fueled fuck-alls. Really, it’s two groups of people: the overwhelmingly white, deeply misinformed lemmings who make their kids hold signs – and the Republican-backed right-wing thugs who inspire them. They would have you believe they are Mainstream America, but they most assuredly are not.

The classic nature of a bully or a narcissist is to accept “life on life’s terms” only when the terms happen to align with your desires. But once the world starts to change around them, these people either lash out, proclaim they’re not playing anymore, or both. Conversely, when us liberals were forced to endure a decade (two decades, really) of conservative rule, we were wracked with misery, but we still mailed in our fucking taxes, still paid for wars we loathed with our own hard-earned money.

Now the tables have turned, and right-wingers will have none of it. They are rejecting the argument out of hand; they want to take their toys and go home. Texas – helmed by the insufferable Rick Perry – has even put secession on the table. Lost on someone as dumb as Perry is why Texas is even a part of America: they begged the U.S. to take them as soon as Mexico got a real army, and UNC grad President James K. Polk saved their sorry asses.

How fucking DARE Texas – or to be more specific, the Texas Republicans currently holding court like Cromwellian overlords – talk like this after they took OUR taxpayer money to fight wildfires, defend their borders, and pick up the pieces after Hurricane Rita? I say let’s give them the “sovereignty” they so desperately desire, and see how they cope – it won’t be the Mexican Army next time, it’ll be a Category 5 hurricane bearing down on Houston.

These “teabaggers” across the country have not only subjected us to round after round of testicular innuendo from nudge-nudge wink-wink headline writers, they are actually embarrassing. They drive to these events in American cars filled with ethanol, and speed down the highway to public parks… to rage against the very machine that creates public parks, paves the highway, subsidizes ethanol, and is now bailing out the car companies.

In all likelihood, these protesters don’t even know what they’re protesting. If asked, all they would offer is vague but emotionally-charged aphorisms about the evils of “big government”. They wouldn’t even know which taxes they’d like to remove, which services they’d like to cut – try to explain to them that Obama’s tax plan will not raise (and in most cases, cut) taxes for 95% of Americans, and they’d look at you with the singular fury of “don’t confuse me with the facts, faggot.”

Because all they have is their rage. And all their leaders have is nihilism. That’s what happens when you run out of ideas. The rest of America is trying to see their way out of this mess, having a little faith in the collective community, trying out optimism for the first time, putting a few new ideas up for consideration.

The right-wingers and anti-tax nutjobs are just reverting to their core cruelty, with the motto “I’m gonna get what’s mine, and everyone else can fuck themselves.” They remind me of that Twilight Zone episode with Burgess Meredith, the one about the nearly-blind bank teller with gigantic glasses who wishes everyone in the world would disappear so he could read his stories. He gets his wish; a holocaust leaves him with a mountain of books and not a soul around. He cackles with glee, bends to pick up a book, and his glasses shatter on the ground. Oh, the ironing!

0 thoughts on “i like my tea green, and in cameron

  1. Megan

    This story (from my hometown paper) about a teabagger getting dunked might make you feel better:
    Woman okay after falling into Susquehanna River
    -A quiet, solo protest against massive federal government spending ended in a city woman being rescued from the cold waters of the Susquehanna River on Wednesday morning.
    Joanne Millard, 68, a resident at Riverfront Apartments, slipped on a rock and then fell into the water while dumping tea leaves from a plastic bag into the river to protest the recent trillions of dollars in government spending.

  2. Claverack Weekender

    As a (hopefully temporary) resident of Texas I will toss out the local case:
    * Texas receives $.94 from the US for every $1 in federal tax collected here.
    * Texas runs a balanced budget and trade surplus.
    * Texas has no state or local income tax.
    * Texas has a part time legislature that meets 140 days every other year.
    * Texans are a, uh, unique and strong-willed people that don’t particularly like others telling them what to do. (c.f. Rick Perry rejects $550MM unemployment stimulus package from Washington)

  3. Joanna

    Great post!
    That is one of the few Twilight Zone episodes I remember. It has haunted me for years. While I appreciate the moral of the story, that episode left me fearful that some twist of fate would leave me with no access to contacts of glasses. The blurriness! The headaches!

  4. Claverack Weekender

    My comment got cut off somehow. The Texas Nationalists bear striking similarity to the Free Vermont crew, and I promise you the latter are not right wing nutjobs.

  5. Anne

    Thank you for writing this, Ian.
    The tea party nonsense is so vague and has confused many — including an earnest local newspaper columnist who supported/s Obama. I’m embarrassed for her; how easily she was manipulated by slogans and “power to the people” chicanery!
    Never underestimate the sneering self-interest of the far right. Rove and Cheney are smiling; smug.

  6. Sean

    My only problem with this anger, Ian, is that you are talking about an extremely small portion of America with utterly no political power or traction. The anti-war left was utterly powerless to do anything, but they had a much larger, much more focused and much more passionate group behind them.
    There were dozens of towns that had protests scheduled, and nobody showed up. The towns where people did show up, there was a couple hundred, maybe a thousand, up to about five thousand. In other words, the same number of people who go see off-off Broadway plays on any given night.
    The sheer numbers, or lack thereof, is a vindication of Obama’s policies. If you’re pleasing 60% of Americans at any given time, then you’re U2 or Michael Jordan, you’re winning on a massive scale. If, nation-wide, you can muster even 10 thousand people to your cause, then you are talking about 0.000002% of our population.
    There is a very popular cable news network that is working on securing its ratings, and a political party that is still spinning its wheels, trying to find a message. So there are billions of dollars at work here.
    But the reason America supports freedom of speech, with very little concern for what that speech will create, it’s because we decided that sunlight is the best cleanser, and stupid ideas will be seen as such before any real action can be taken. When you get a group of idiots with teabags swinging on the brim of their hats, smacking them in the chin and foreheads – and you realize these morons aren’t rushing a frat but rather THINK THEY ARE MAKING A STATEMENT… it’s time to take a step back, hand them the microphone and say, “No, no, by all means, please… have your say!”

  7. craighill

    i assume when you refer to “taxpayers” and “mailing in our fucking taxes” you’re NOT talking about obama’s appointees.
    bt the way, read your post again – who’s “rage fueled”?
    -right wing “nut job”

  8. Ehren

    There was an interesting graphic in the Times the other day, showing that according to a poll that’s been conducted regularly since 1956, more Americans feel that their tax burden is appropriate (either “just right” or “too small”) than believe the opposite (“too large.”) That’s the first time most Americans have felt this way since they started collecting the data.
    And as for Texas secession, Texas gets a lot from the Feds that isn’t included in that $.94, like being defended from enemies, like the US mail, like having open trade with the rest of the country.
    That being said, I fantasize about NYC and it’s near suburbs seceding to form a 51st state sometimes, because the rest of the Empire State sucks off our tax base, yet never feels compelled to invest appropriately in the infrastructure that keeps this giant tax engine so strong.

  9. Kevin In Philadelphia

    Ian, this is a great post. I often find that you channel my own rage-fueled stammerings about Conservative “causes” into a coherent and thoughtful post. Thank you for that.
    FYI, do you have plans to add a facebook linky-ma-jig to your site? I would like to share your posts with my group of friends, as well as send more traffic your way. Except for during college hoops season…that is where we part ways. But congrats to UNC for a well-deserved national championship.
    Kevin (the Duke fan) in Philadelphia

  10. Anne

    In response to Ian’s Coastopia post right after the 2004 presidential election, one brainiac right-winger commented:
    “Why don’t you just move to Canada you stupid fuckers. WE won and WE will rule this country as we please you stupid pieces of shit.”
    (Posted by: G—– Sh—– at November 4, 2004 5:32 PM)
    The jackboot is on the other foot now, eh? Not that liberals would wear jackboots. You *know* we all wear Birkenstocks and Earth Shoes.


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