i also see with sonar sound


I’ve been away from the girls for about five days now, which means I can only keep up with them over iChat or the phone. Apparently while they were in the car today, Lucy said to Tessa, “I really like Santa Claus. But he only comes at night. He’s nocturnal. Like Daddo.”

Yes, my daughter is already talkin’ shite about my sleep habits, but “nocturnal”? Man, I love my little pumpkin pie spice.


Since we can’t do our usual cultural kvetching in person, Tessa calls me with her random observations and mini-rants. I’ll try to transcribe our call from yesterday:

Tessa: “Hey, so can I make three cultural criticisms? Some things have just really pissed me off.”

Me: “Sure. You kidding? Absolutely!”

“Okay, so I got stuck behind this other car, and it had a bumper sticker that read ‘It’s Okay To Say Merry Christmas’.”

“Oh yeah. One of THOSE people.”

“Like they’re so bent out of shape because GOD FORBID they have to take anyone else’s beliefs into consideration.”

“Not to mention it’s a totally invented phenomenon. It’s just right-wing bullshit, the whole ‘War on Christmas’ thing.”

“I mean, sure, it’s okay to say Merry Christmas. It’s also okay to not be a prick about it. We live in a place with lots of different cultures, can they just DEAL with it?”

“No, they can’t. And they’re gonna tell you about it.”

“Okay, the next thing: what’s up with the CEO of Coca-Cola going after Michelle Obama because she wants to promote healthy food?”

“The leader of Coke?”

“This guy says that the President and the First Lady are telling people what to drink and that it’s like the Soviet Union. Is he SERIOUS? Does he really think the Obama’s organic garden is posing a serious threat to CORPORATE EARNINGS?”

“Well, also, isn’t a third of America obese? Don’t we pay for that with our taxes?”

“Yes, of course. It boggles my mind how threatened these guys are.”

“Coke is pretty yummy, though.”

“And here’s the third of my mini rants: I’m talking to one of the other mothers at playgroup, and she’s saying how OF COURSE she’s not going to get the flu vaccine, and that she’s treated everything with Echinacea, and besides, the swine flu isn’t that bad.”

“Oh fer chrissake.”

“And I told her, well, it’s killing pregnant mothers and small children at a much higher rate than they thought – and she says ‘no way’ like it’s the first time she’s heard it. I mean, why do you have an opinion about something if you haven’t done any research?”

“Was this in Santa Monica?”

“Yes, a totally leftist, crunchy mom who just automatically believes that all vaccines are bad, but Echinacea will cure everything-“

“That’s the problem with any kind of knee-jerkism – sometimes it’s just as bad with liberals as conservatives. It’s totally anti-intellectual.”

“I mean, does she go around thinking the government is totally out to get them with their EVIL VACCINES all the time? I don’t know, sometimes in conversation, you just have to swallow it.”

“I’ve got something for you to swallow.”

“I can’t BELIEVE you just said that. You’re disgusting. Goodbye.”

0 thoughts on “i also see with sonar sound

  1. LFMD

    You guys are funny!
    You will be glad to know that I finally found a place that had seasonal flu vaccine last night, and Helen and I got the shots. As for the H1N1, there are waiting lists that are closed and I don’t think I will be able to find it anywhere in Maryland. Why does Kathleen Sebelius keep saying that there is enough H1N1 vaccine for everyone when that is obviously NOT the case in Maryland? And we border DC!!! What is going on???? Somebody help me!

  2. kate

    I totally don’t understand the “War on Christmas” groups. At Southpoint Mall in Durham a couple years ago, they had a huge Christmas tree outside and a North Pole village set up inside. Both were beautiful and fun and festive.
    Hanging from the ceiling inside in one part of the mall was a blue, silver and white banner/flag that had a dreidel, a menorah, and the Star of David. Nordstrom’s decorations all read “Happy Holidays” and the general mall banners read “Seasons Greetings”.
    The local NBC affiliate interviewed people about the mall’s holiday decorations and three of the four people interviewed voiced their anger over the “War on Christmas” and the fact that the mall probably felt they *had* to have something up for Hanukkah so people wouldn’t complain.
    Really, WTF? Not everyone celebrates Christmas. But no one is telling you that you *can’t* wish others a Merry Christmas… there’s simply a choice by some people/stores/groups to have less specific wording on their decorations and cards and more ‘inclusive’ language, like “Seasons Greetings”. How and why is that an issue?
    I always read comments online from people who rant that “Christ is the reason for the season!” and “Christ was born on Christmas, therefore it’s a Christian holiday and people need to just accept that!” Um, no. Check your bibles and history books again.
    The whole thing boggles my mind. How anyone can argue with a straight face that Christians are being “persecuted” for celebrating their faith and are repressed by all of us cruel, evil non-Christians is beyond me.
    LFMD – H1N1 availability is an issue around here, too. My friend is pregnant and her doctor has been telling her for weeks that she HAS to get the shot, but they got a small supply in their office and bam! It was gone by the end of the day. She can’t find anywhere to get it, anyone who thinks they’ll have more soon, anything. How frustrating.

  3. kevin from NC

    You almost got me started on the non-info formed opinions…. but I have managed to chill.
    Have a good weekend everyone!!! k

  4. Neva

    I would swear you recorded this conversation at my house. Sounds very similar to many Dave and I have all the time (except he’s not so crude, darn it :)
    I just got my H1N1 vaccine today. Our hospital got 100 doses. We were very lucky – I was told all of Duke only got 40. I think there is more on the way though LFMD. Just hang in there.
    Have you checked with your local health dept? They are more likely to have it than a private practitioner. I know orange county HD has it for a while but it was going out to first responders and their own employees first then high risk individuals in the community. Definitely the pregnant folks should be able to get it there as they are in the very highest risk group.

  5. Rebecca

    I overheard a conversation with some Moms at preschool today about the vaccine. Two women were passionately arguing with a pregnant woman (baby #3) that she should get the vaccine. She said she was “weighing the risks of the vaccine versus the odds of my getting the flu”. Crazy. Here’s a woman who could go to the front of the line, and is choosing not to do it. Darwinism in action?

  6. Caroline

    My father-in-law, who is smart in a street-sense kind of way and excellent at mechanical stuff but I would never call him an intellectual or a curious person just told me that he is not getting the swine flu vaccine because his doctor told him he didn’t think it was safe. His DOCTOR. I was horrified. Every public health person has come out and said that is it completely safe and made the same way as the regular flu vaccine which no one says boo about that. Apparently the doctor said that it was made funny in the 70s so he doesn’t trust it. I told him to get a new doctor but my FIL just think I’m a crazy city liberal.

  7. Joanna

    Well, it was “made funny in the 70s” . . .
    I’ve heard through the grapevine of doctors who are not having their own children vaccinated. I’m not completely comfortable with it, but my son is asthmatic, so if I can track down the darn thing, my kids will get it.
    In the meantime, maybe we should all brush up on those natural ways to beat the flu. It’s so funny to me that remedies with thousands of years of history are the laughable “alternatives,” while ads for the mainstream drugs could, with no alteration, be SNL skits.
    Ian, you’re a naughty boy.

  8. Sean

    Joanna, one of the ways suggested to avoid the flu is to thump on your sternum 50 times each morning and night. To fire up your thymus.
    The reason that mainstream drug ads seem comical is because a) they have a legal responsibility to lay out ever possible side effect, which ridiculous herbal remedies aren’t bound to and b) science relies on claiming only that which is beyond the possibility of denial, which laughable alternative remedies also aren’t bound to.
    There is no connection between autism and vaccines, but autism shows up in children at around the same age as they are vaccinated, so concerned parents see a causality. And scientists can’t unequivocably say, as I just have, that there is no connection because, while not a single study has ever shown a connection, as scientists they have to allow for the possibility of a connection to exist unless it’s been proven not to.

  9. block

    glad i read it through to the end. well played ian…
    i recommend surgical masks and rubber gloves for preventing Swine flu – which they conveniently handed out to us at work last week. i put them on right away… at least for twenty minutes. it was fun.

  10. Joanna

    My husband is a biochemist who develops software to analyze drug safety for the FDA and pharmaceutical companies. His experience is largely the source of my skepticism, as well as the reason he has eschewed most medications.

  11. Salem

    No. Lucy must stop growing. It’s bad enough that my daughter has to grow up. Lucy must stay forever Lulubeans. Can we just pretend she’s always four on your blog?

  12. heike

    The last time I peeked into your blog I read an entry that made me cry. I went upstairs and stood in the shower and couldn’t stop crying. Today you made me laugh out loud and I’m still chuckling half an hour later. It’s amazing; such a delight. You are such a wonderful writer. You touch me in so many different ways. When I don’t feel like going to sleep and all is quiet in the house with both Leo and David and the dog fast asleep, then I come and read a couple of pages. It’s always great. Like a book that’s always happening.


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