corn syrup-filled action doll sold separately


I’m going to reprint a section of Salem’s email to me here, and not just because I’m jetlagged, finishing a script, and in transit.

It’s a list of all his great materialistic desires, and whether or not he’s attained them. I am thinking of mine as well. Here’s Salem:


Oh, I haven’t thought it through, but here’s a few of my landmark, shamelessly materialistic, obsessions.

1. Stretch Armstrong, check.

2. Mood Ring, check.

3. Digital Watch, check.

4. Merlin game & Magic 8 Ball, Check.

5. Lamborghini, Not accomplished.

6. Klipsch Speakers & Bang & Olufson Stereo, Check

7. Restaurant & Mobile Kitchen, Check.

8. Infrared Char-broiler, check

9. Art, check,check,check,check,check,check.

10. BMW R1200C Cruiser, check

11. Palm Pilot, check.

12. HP Tablet PC, check.

13. Iphone, check.

14. Popeye style Spinach with a squeeze open can. Never found it.


0 thoughts on “corn syrup-filled action doll sold separately

  1. scruggs

    I’m really cheap and don’t like to spend money. But a wish list includes…
    1. Big, screened-in Porch, check.
    2. Rolex watch, check.
    3. 50″ tv and media center, check.
    Not accomplished:
    4. Pontoon Boat
    5. eReader
    6. Big Green Egg
    7. Rene Pierre foosball table

  2. josie

    Hmmm…this is tough.
    1) A car which can accommodate at least 4 kid seats, is 4wd or at least AWD, and gets great gas mileage. “Great” = over 30 mpg; I want to be part of the “village,” but my current volvo wagon cannot accommodate more than 2 car seats in the back seat, and the specter of squishing a third seat in the trunk is disturbing from a safety perspective. Car must be able to traverse dirt/gravel roads in NC. This car that I imagine is not yet made. Waiting….

  3. craighill

    hey scruggs i don’t know where u live but someone has a rene pierre foos table in the charlotte observer classifieds for $700 – sure he’d take less. i would have bought it but mine is just about broken in @ the ripe old age of 12. asking for big green egg for xmas!

  4. jje

    We have a Big Green Egg and love it! Pork shoulders and chicken are out of this world on it. Got ours at Blackhawk Hardware at Park Road Shopping Center a few years ago for a great price.

  5. Lee

    i dunno about a green egg but i have been obsessing over a screened in porch for about 5 years now. please oh please i wannnnttt one!

  6. CM

    Salem, maybe you should invent the squeezable spinach thing. If you are thinking like a kid, you might just have the next great fad on your hands.
    I really don’t long for any material possessions right now. I would simply love to live in an old colonial house in New England that has lots of secrets. But really what I want now is a bunch of kids to love and play with. Other stuff seems far less miraculous and far less out of reach.

  7. caveman

    This reminds me of funny conversations I have had about which material items meant someone was “rich” when I was growing up. Some are less obvious than others (and I had zero items on the list – violins please). Key items which meant you were rich were:
    1. Pinball machine and/or pool table
    2. Ice maker underneath a bar
    3. Trampoline
    4. Pool
    5. Garbage compactor
    6. Intercom system in house (you were beyond loaded)
    7. Separate “kids” phone line (holy sh*t)
    8. Any convertible

  8. Lee

    That’s funny, Caveman!
    I remember thinking about those exact same things. Only I didn’t know a garbage compactor existed. For a while, even a microwave and VCR was on that list.

  9. Salem

    I get a little obsessive about goofy little shit like that. I simply lost my ever-lovin’ mind, when I saw the first stretch armstrong commercial and the Steven Jobs IPhone unveiling. Same reaction, 33 years apart.
    I am hoping my philanthropic commitments during the Bang & Olufsen, BMW years, will keep me out of hell.

  10. LFMD

    I love Salem’s list. I still remember how excited I was to get my mood ring and magic 8 ball. . .
    My latest indulgence has been my iPhone. I waited patiently for my old cell contract to end and was beside myself with excitement when I bought it. It is definitely a WANT and not a NEED but it is awesome!!!

  11. CM

    I forgot that I want a really elaborate model train set. For this, I’ll have to have kids so I can pretend it’s theirs…and make room in the basement.


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