Dear People of Connecticut:
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? Us progressives told you Joe Lieberman was a sanctimonious prick who couldn’t be trusted, and now that you’ve stuck him with us, you’re all like “oh my god, Joe Lieberman is a sanctimonious prick who can’t be trusted!” As much as us progressives have to suffer with the goddamn moronic choices made by our fellow Americans, we are also PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS RIGHT.
I will leave the genteel stiff-upper-lip stoicism to those with better manners, because I am not above yelling “WE TOLD YOU SO.” Recent American history is littered with our correct-yet-unheeded prognostications and now yet another has come to pass: Joe Motherfucking Lieberman.
The record will show that I loathed that droning, self-righteous asshole clear back in 2003, and still managed to choke down my bile long enough to pull for the doomed Kerry ticket – but really, what was the alternative? Many of us yelped for joy when Ned Lamont knocked him off the Democratic ticket, but when Lieberman won the Senate race as an “independent”, we were forced to endure the media narrative of “regular people don’t like being told what to do by the liberal blogosphere.”
Well, they ought to, if they know what’s good for them. A year after Joementum (**HORRFFFFF**) won the seat, people from Connecticut were asked if they’d made the right decision. “No fucking way” led 51-37, and even Independents agreed, 53-36.
Again, what were you thinking, Connecticut? What vital piece of information was not available to you at the time of the election? You’re like the 17 million Bush voters who subsequently disapproved of him, and like them, you make me fucking sick. You should be ashamed for sticking us with this guy.
To paraphrase “A Fish Called Wanda”, calling Joe Lieberman a selfish twat is an insult to selfish twats. 68% of Connecticut wants the public option, but Lieberman is going to torpedo it, and why? Is it because corporate Connecticut is the home to Aetna and all the big health insurers? Is it because he knows killing the public option will destroy Democrats’ re-election prospects next year? Or does he just want the whole world to be kowtowing at him him him?
He claims to be super-religious, but I didn’t know self-serving, infuriating vanity was a major tenet of Judaism. If he manages to fuck meaningful change for American health care, then he will be personally responsible for actual Americans dying, and I know there’s nothing in the Torah about that.
Connecticut, I want you to look at that droopy-jowled, whining, proselytizing, fatuous schmo and craft an apology to the rest of us. Don’t worry about spelling, just put your heart into it.