This is my reputation. I’m just writing it down so it exists somewhere, not for any other reason.
All of the following may be true. They might also be true enough, which is the same thing. They might also be false, but it doesn’t matter, because the mythology is more interesting. Anyway, here goes:
• I was the pinchfarthing bastard who used to pay the bare minimum share on checks at dinner, until I came into some money.
• Now I’m excruciatingly generous to help you out, as long as it’s something I want to help you out with.
• In the same vein, I apply undue pressure on family and friends to do shit I want to do, and frequently throw money at them to get them to do it.
• I’m immediately defensive about my supposed faults, until I turn maudlin and self-loathing and start listing faults I don’t even have.
• I’m occasionally a brilliant writer, but I don’t like rewrites, and I’m a dabbler, wholly uninterested in making something perfect.
• I’m occasionally a fantastic musician, but resist rehearsal, and pooh-pooh any preparation, which leads to the occasional massive fuck-up when it really matters.
• I like to have everyone around, and then disappear.
• I am a foul-mouthed, acid-laced vulgarian while playing sports, a trait that has only been vaguely attenuated by anti-depressants and therapy.
• I’m a hopeless prep-school bi-coastal snob with absolutely no appreciation for the way real Americans live.
• I’m a hypocritical environmentalist with a penchant for flying back and forth across the country lugging tons of electronic shit made of plastic.
• I’m intermittently funny and charming, and might have a lot of “big thoughts”, but after a while, you start wondering what I’m actually made of.
Phew. That covers a few of them, hopefully. How about your reputation?