i AM practicing, mom


As I’m flying all day today en route to a wedding in Pennsylvania (by way of NYC), your assignment is simple. Anonymous or not, please state exactly what part of your character, your job, or your overall life experience is currently nagging you to fix it. What vague – or altogether too obvious – icicle is dangling over your head… and furthermore, what exactly are you going to do to fix it?

State the facts as they are, and what you will realistically do about them; try not to say something you know is merely your way of psyching yourself up. Honesty cures almost everything except a sinus infection!


0 thoughts on “i AM practicing, mom

  1. Alan

    I’ll start. I am too fat. I could easily drop 50 lbs. It doesn’t particularly bug me that I look fat but I know it is a ticking time bomb for health reasons even if I have been in fairly good health so far. No, it bugs me when clothes get tight and that I am not as athletic as I used to be.
    But I love food. We just spent four days in central New York and I ate the BBQ that Canadian culture keeps from us, had small town Italian family restaurant pizza as well as Ithaca bagals with bacon cream cheese. I gorged myself two nights in a row at Moosewood for God’s sake. Who eats like that at Moosewood? Don’t even mention the whole beer blog thing.
    What am I going to do? I am going to read Pollan’s “In Defense of Food” on a constant loop for one thing. Picked it up the other week and that’s scared the hell out of me. Eat more vegetarian, more real food and maybe ten sit ups a week as well as two vintage baseball games a summer. That’ll drop the pounds, right?

  2. Neva

    I need to learn to squelch my righteous indignation. It gets me into trouble at work, turns people off to me I think and really doesn’t accomplish what needs to be accomplished.
    I have trouble with small changes and compromise with people who want to maintain status quo when the status quo is so obviously stupid (in my mind at least). Ian, I think you and I might have this one in common? But… I have to work in a state hospital where I run into this every day and have to keep on people’s good side and keep my job.
    I’m trying to learn to count to 10 before I speak and take the small victories and not judge people for the idiotic way in which they were raised or the culture from which they come.
    As an example, at the moment as the doctor for the children in a psych hospital I am trying to convince them that cake and ice cream are not the 5th food group and that we are killing these obese children by rewarding them with candy. I am not making friends in the administration and I am only hurting myself. I have to learn how to fight the good fight without taking myself down in the process. Help!

  3. Amy S.

    My binge-purge mentality shows up in every aspect of my life. Most recently, I’ve noticed it in the realm of cleaning & tidying. I go on 6-hour cleaning benders, but I cannot seem to *maintain* a state of order in my house or classroom. I’m going to schedule 15 minutes a day–a manageable increment of time–to clean and tidy each.

  4. Anne

    I’m old and unemployed in a rotten economy in a state with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.
    But right now, I care not, because last night I saw (for the 2nd time in 2 years) JACK WHITE and his band The Dead Weather at House of Blues in Boston, and thanks to a friend with an early-admission pass, stood with my elbows ON the stage exactly at the center mark. Alison Mosshard (frontwoman) leaned over and held my hand for 10 seconds while singing! (See my Facebook for pics.)

  5. A. Nonny Nonny

    Oh, too many to mention, but the biggest one seems to be whether or not to stay in the arts/entertainment industry or get a steady job. The inconsistency and devolution of the Biz – which didn’t bother me at 32 – is scaring the bejesus out of me at 42, and I dread what if will do to me at 52 and beyond. That being said, maybe the biggest character change I ought to make is to not see everything as a clear-cut, black-or-white, do-or-die choice – i.e., stay in the biz OR get a steady job. How about – stay in the biz AND get a steady job?
    Wow. Just saying that makes me feel better already. Seriously.

  6. Not Her Again

    I say the wrong things for the right reasons. I can’t do anything about this ‘cept tape the ole pie hole shut.
    I quickly tap out comments on blogs, and end up sounding like a moron. I am a poor editor on-the-fly. I can’t help myself – it’s like looking at a horrible car accident. I just need to stop “needing” to be heard.
    I hate my job, and need to make peace with the fact that it brings in the bacon.

  7. Salem

    I’m one day ahead of you. Sneaky feeling all year, toothache on Monday, root canal yesterday.
    Of course the Dentist’s file broke off and lodged deep inside the root, so I have to go back next week for more digging. Get excited! On a lighter note; Guinness and Darvocet are delightful.

  8. Not Her Either

    Not Her Again, you wrote so eloquently exactly what I feel. I comment as one of the little escapes in my day and I’ve just tried to recognize doing so must satisfy some need in a fairly harmless way. But I, too, end up feeling like an idiot half the time. Hey, Mgmt., how about a delete option?

  9. kazoo

    i think i need to end a relationship…one that has been growing in fits and starts for the long distance, but is so unbelievably satisfying and honest and rich when we do connect. but my gut keeps telling me that he just doesn’t want the same things and wishing it so won’t make it happen.
    so, the conversation just needs to happen, and i need to tell myself every day for a while, that walking away from a stellar, smart, funny, sexy man who can quote shakespeare as easily as joseph konrad isn’t going to kill me…this, too, shall pass, right?

  10. Ian

    not her again/either… I’ll always delete a comment if you ask (done it for almost everybody at some time or another) but I hope you know this is the last place on the web where you don’t need to worry about what you say, ever, period. Unless you’re running for Senate.

  11. emma

    Sometimes, I think I am more critical of my own husband than I am of others who I just randomly encounter during the day. My expectations of him are higher than of anyone else. The way to work on this is to acknowledge and praise the kind things that he does (which are many) and try to overlook the things that he doesn’t do (which are few).


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